Cannabis Ativa - Smoke no more...

Ahhhh... The Cannabis...

The Cannabis Ativa.

I read the funniest post the other day by Chubby Chocolate entitled "They're magically delicious!" (Click on the title to read her post) which brought back memories of the day I stopped smoking weed.

And stopped smoking it rather abruptly.

It was a fall day back in 1996 I believe. I was a struggling graduate student, just trying to jump the required hoops to get through school. I was taking a Biostatistic class, an elective that had nothing to do with my Chemistry degree. It had to be one of the most boring classes I've ever taken, and I was not at all happy to be there. This is the class where I learned to make out my Wal-Mart or grocery list. I would even entertain myself by placing my index finger to my neck and counting how many times my heart would beat in a minute. Absolutely boring with a capital "B"...

Well, I think that we had two tests and a research paper to write for that class. Now with our graduate school program, anything below a "B" was considered failing. So I figured, I needed to get an "A" on the first test, then I could pretty much cruise through the rest of this stupid class and concentrate on my chemistry stuff. So I studied real hard. I mean REAL hard.

I didn't get an "A" on the first test... I got a "C".

Piss me off something terrible...

I remember leaving class that day, my mood shot, and standing in the hallway talking to my long time friend Timmy-Tim...

"I'm gonna go home and get real drunk and real high..." I declared.

I don't remember what he said of my comment. Timmy-Tim was a beer drinker. He didn't get blunted, from what I remember. I think we just parted ways. He went to his house, and I went on home to my duplex in Grant Park...



I rolled myself a joint, but I rolled it a little thicker than usual. I wasn't a heavy smoker at the time (a dime bag would last me a couple of months), but I only smoked when I was a little stressed. And I was stressed that cool October Friday night after basically failing a test.

Well, like I said, it was a Friday night, and I was laid out on my living room couch in the dark, watching X-Files, smoking a joint, and sipping on a quart of 8-ball (Old English 800 malt liquor).

I remember... I was feeling real good... I wasn't thinking about that test anymore, that's for sure. And I have to admit, I was feeling a lot better...

Until my kitten Jeremy jumped up on the Queen Anne style coffee table.

I hadn't had Jeremy for long. Maybe for just a few weeks at that time. My little brother Da'Kari, who was nine years old at the time, had found Jeremy under the shed in his backyard and had been taking care of him. I had a mice problem in my duplex, so Da'Kari gave me the cat to take home...

Well, like I said, Jeremy jumped up on the coffee table. I didn't think much of it. Just wished he would move. He was blocking the television...

Then he looked at me... And he said...

"You know you shouldn't be doing that..."

I just looked at the cat. He sat down on the coffee table, raised his front paw and licked it. Damn, I thought. I must be hearing things. "Get down, Jeremy." I kicked my foot out towards him. This was usually enough to scare him off. Instead, he stopped licking his paw and looked directly at me.

"You know you shouldn't be doing that, Lee!"

I sat straight up on the couch. "What the... Go on now, Jeremy!!!! Get the hell on, now!!!"

Damn cat just sat there and stared at me. Freaked me out something terrible. I immediately got up, ran into the bathroom, and flushed the half-smoked joint down the toilet...

I haven't smoked weed since that crazy day back in 1996...

It's amazing how something like a mere cat can cause such a turn of events. I'm sure it was floating in my conscience that I shouldn't be sitting there smoking weed, and somehow it all just came unglued...

Or maybe it was just that my weed was laced with a little something, something...

I stepped gingerly around Jeremy for a few days after that... I still look at him a little crazy, even now, nine years later. That cat has been with me a long time...

Oh, the stories he could tell...

Thank goodness animals can't write or talk.