The Truest Commentaries

LadyTee and I have this ritual, one that we have carried out since 1980:

Calling each other on the phone and doing a little joint commentary.

"What do you mean by that, Ladylee?" you may ask.

Hard to explain, but the following may ring true, even with you and some of your friends:


“Lee, turn to channel 2, Solid Gold on.”

“Alright, let me get up and turn the station.”


“Lee, put your tv on channel 46, Sold Train on.”



“Alright, hold on, Tee.”

You know how it is. We do this with the Grammys, the Oscars, American Idol, any awards show… any show where they are competing, dancing or singing… We've been known to do it with the evening news, too.

Either LadyTee or myself will be dialing phone numbers looking for the one another when we see ANYTHING interesting.

So we can sit there on the phone, watch said show together, and jone or praise people.

There are no real rules when calling each other under these circumstances. One just needs to see a really good performance, something that pisses one off, or something real stupid.

Oh, and although we are two educated women, all good English goes straight out the window and we get over into some bootleg broken and busted up ebonics at times….

Well, the other night, LadyTee called me...

“Lee, put your channel on PBS.”

“Dang girl, I ain’t lookin’ at no doggone PBS.”

“Girl, shut up and put your tv on PBS!!!”

I scramble around.

“Lee, hurry up!”

“Man, I gotta find the remote.”

LadyTee sucks her teeth. “Gurl, I swear! You always losing that remote!”

I find the remote and turn to the channel. It is an informercial for a huge collection of 70’s Soul music hosted by Isaac Hayes and some random chick. I am sure you’ve seen such informercials late in the midnight hour, you know, with the titles of the songs scrolling up the screen, and little snippets of each song sung by the artist.

You get my drift.

This show stayed on for a whole hour. And we sat there and commentated down.

A sampling of a few observations we made...



LadyTee: Damn, Barry White sho do have a nappy ass perm!
LadyLee: Oh, but it was the bomb back then!











[speaking of Al Green]

LadyLee: He got some sort of a perm, don’t he?
LadyTee: I don’t know, girl. I think that’s a blowout.
LadyLee: Well he sho need some Afro Sheen or something!



[Speaking of Patti Labelle and the crew]


(LadyTee getting all excited)

LadyTee: Look at Patti, Lee! LOOK! She stepping hard, Lee.. She highsteppin’ hard.!
LadyLee: Yeah she gettin’ it, ain’t she?! And they in them shiny space suits. They use to scare me with that get-up.
*LadyTee and LadyLee butchering "Lady Marmarlade" something terrible*

LadyTee: Girl, you KNOW I'm down for some Sister Sledge!!!!
LadyLee: Yeah, you did always like them girls.
*LadyTee and LadyLee singing "We are Family" waaaay out of tune and off key*




[Speaking of all the male groups]
LadyLee: Tee, look at them tight ass britches they got on!
LadyTee: You got that right!
LadyLee: How the hell do you dance in a tight ass three piece suit?
LadyTee: I don’t know, but they use to be gettin’ it, girl!


LadyTee: That Natalie Cole! Boy, that girl know she be sangin’ some songs when she was on them drugs, man!
LadyLee: I know that’s right! She was doin the darn thang back then!
LadyTee: Sho was!!

This goes on for the entire hour...

Way back in the early eighties, when music videos first came on the scene, we'd been known to commentate hard for 8 hours straight.

Don't laugh. Even in our late thirties, we are still the best commentators on the scene.

I know you and your best friend were too!