Monday, August 07, 2006

A Visit from an Old Friend... An Old Influence

Beware, this is a um... dark post, not my usual funny, funny... Tread carefully...

I am a strange Oldgirl...




I, like most, have idiosyncracies...and I don't apologize for that. I'm only human.

I detest running with the crowd, or even getting hype about whatever is the the trend of the moment... It all makes me want to gag. I get in A LOT of trouble for not having the knack of saying all the right things, or being a people pleaser.

It wouldn't bother me one bit to work all day in a small cubicle up on the roof of my workplace all alone, with no contact whatsoever with people.

Ain't nothing but peace to me. And I'd probably get 10 times as much work done, you know.

If you're not speaking good words to me, words to uplift me, words to get me going in the right direction, words to soothe my soul, words of correction and chastisement from the heart... just not having a positive influence on me at all... then I ain't trying to deal with you...

And I boldly say, if I'm not doing the same for you, then you don't need to be dealing with me...

Keep It Movin'...

Our lives are too damn important to be around folks that are keeping us in some form of bondage. I will go on to say, most issues we have are intricately connected to some bad or strange relations and/or interactions with someone in our lives in the past...

I don't really know why, but that's just me, and how I feel. I'm 36 now, and all I know, once I turned 30, my tolerance for people's B.S. went waaaaay down... Let's just say my patience is as thin as a peice of paper...

Meaning, I can't deal with you if you are a messy person, a dramatic person, a person of low self-esteem (i.e., one who needs their ego CONSTANTLY stroked and/or validated), people who only talk to me when they want something, or one who is exceedingly negative...

Sorry, but you need to keep it moving... we ain't in high school, we ain't in college, and this ain't a popularity contest... We is GROWN, so act grown...

No, I'm not the most positive person on the planet, but it don't help me to hang with a bunch of negative peeps...

Ooooh, Ladylee is not so funny today is she? Nope. This is just me, what's been at the forefront of my mind for a minute. I get a lot of criticism for being a bit too flowery and funny on this blog, not showing enough of the real me... but hey, this is one of them posts where you see a bit of my serious side... so catch it while you can (LOL!)

Anyway, I am very careful about who I deal with. Man, I got folks that have a stank attitude towards me right now, because I am not skilled in saying ALL the right things, doing ALL of what they think I should do for them, or even if I have a bad day, etc... I can't figure out what I did to them, and frankly, since I don't go out of my way to purposefully hurt people, I really don't care.

Oh well, that's cool... keeps them out of my way. LOL!

Now one thing I detest is lazy people, people whose laziness make it hard for everyonoe else. We have this problem on my job. And what's so terribly twisted about it, such behaviour seems to be rewarded...

While a foot is put up the ass of the diligent.

So twisted... so it seems that it's just best to be lazy... hmmm...

*Lee reluctantly getting off of the soapbox and kicking it off in the bushes*

Anyway, a bit of bright sunshine shined in my life last week.

Cowgirl Cre and I were sitting in the large, two person cubicle that we share one day last week, quietly eating our lunch. I was reading a book, and she was reading also.

All was quiet.

Someone walked up behind us, and softly said in a thick hispanic accent...

"Do you all still work here? Do you do work?"

I didn't even turn around to see who it was...

I was too busy looking for my shovel, so I could run out back and dig up my Book of Cuss!

I looked over at Cowgirl Cre, and apparently, she too was looking for that same shovel.

(Let's just say I stay clear of a couple of people out of the Hispanic sector at work since they like to grab me and throw me under the bus from time to time.)

I eventually turned around, to see a coworker who'd transferred to a new location within our organization a few years ago...

My ex-coworker Havi...



Now Havi was a special type of person. One who didn't backbite or backstab. One who didn't need his ego stroked. One who wasn't dramatic, i.e., didn't keep a bunch of mess going. The type of person that you don't have to watch. Just a great all around guy. He was a very honest and hard worker... extremely diligent. And if there is one thing I like, I like a hard, honest worker.

We had a long conversation one day a few years ago, you know, one of those unforgetable convos where you come to a very clear understanding with a person, and see eye-to-eye on some things. He wanted to learn some of the equipment that I was very knowledgable of, but I could tell he had heard a lot of crazy stuff about me, and was hesitant to approach me about it. (I, Ladylee, am not the most political or congenial individual, i.e., I'm not an ass-kisser, so on the job, that makes me... incredibly and automatically EVIL, LOL!). But I told him, give me 10 minutes a day of your time, just when you finish your own work, just 10 minutes a day, and I will teach you all I know. You can either believe what the haters say about me, or make up your own mind, but I will teach you all that I can, if you want. Just because I hold a Ph.D. does not mean I walk around with my nose in the air. I don't have ego issues! if you want to learn, I will fervently teach you! Heck, you may figure out something I can't figure out, or even teach me something new. And I am down for that!

Well, he decided to roll with me, and was diligent about giving me his 10 minutes a day. He soaked up everything I taught him, and was able to eventually take on some of the more tedious and difficult projects of our group. I remember when he use to walk up on me with a worried look, asking my advice on how to do a particular analysis, wanting to try a different approach, just kicking ideas past me, to see what I think. I would just let him talk and talk, let him hear himself talk the problem out and figure it out for himself.

I would always just nod and say.... "Do your thang, man... try it and see what happens, I trust your judgement."

Damn, why can't it be that way with everybody?

It's sad to say that I can't say that to many people... "I trust your judgement". Sad, sad, sad.

Anyway, Havi was able to transfer out of our group and back to a branch in his hometown of Puerto Rico, and is working with some of the same equipment that I had the opportunity to show and teach him how to use...

So when I turned around that day last week and saw him standing there, smiling like the cheshire cat... I did all I could not to shed a tear or two...

I just jumped up and tackled and hugged him (LOL)!!

I miss him so much...

See, I can't stand lazy people, because laziness is something that I myself struggle with. And it's not that outright laziness, where I am just sorry as hell (you know, we all know people like that). But for me, it's that laziness where I have a slow day, where I only get half as much done as I should have gotten done, and it's all my fault because I am slacking and unmotivated, or just not feeling well that day... THAT brand of laziness.

So I run from those who have a rep of being lazy or trifling... because, it is my belief that whoever you hang around too much with, well, you start to pick up some of their characteristics...

And that scares me.

One of the biggest things on my prayer list is a prayer to become a diligent person, and it is an honor and a great influence when I cross paths with very diligent people. Because meeting such persons is a rarity in my life. I find that I always pick up some of their characteristics, some of the missing points that I need to make me a better worker... a better person.

I miss Havi because he was kind, good-hearted, an honest hard worker...and very diligent. When we worked together, I worked harder, worked so much smarter. Heck, I didn't even mind coming to work some days, because I knew that he and I were going to get a lot done.

So Havi, I miss you man! I miss the influence you had on me...

Lord knows I need your diligent behind back here in the ATL...

But hey man, I know you wanted to go back home to that beautiful island, and you got there...

Thanks for stopping by and visiting, and making us laugh... You almost got read a few verses from my Book of Cuss!!

You be sure to come back again soon...

7 comments:

  1. Funny and flowery has its place. Tell the critics to go jump in the lake.

    It's odd how we tend to take on the characteristics of those around us ... either good or bad. I, like you, would much rather be on the roof undisturbed and not influenced by anyone. Just free to do my job.

    It is such a joy to find that diamond in the rough. They are so few and far between.

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  2. Man, I guess you're going to have to quit hanging with me then (how much hanging do we really do via blacknet?). What you mean this ain't a popularity contest? It ain't high school? You mean to tell me I done bought all these clear heels for nada? Just kidding, I'm sure I'll get to use them diligently, just not at work.. HA! And I hope you'll be posting more frequently than once a month. Hmmph.
    Oh and you can work on a roof if you want, as hot as it is. You won't be working long. Oh and Havi looks like LB's type.. You might wanna hook your sister up.

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  3. I'm feeling you on this OG. Havi sounds like he comes with positive energy. Positive energy is very, very fertile and typically reproduces itself. As fertile as positive energy is, negative energy is twice as fertile; thus, it is extremely important to practice "safe association" to prevent negative energy from multiplying using you as its vessel.

    Great talking to you this morning, and as always, I'm oh so thankful for the divine intervention that made me sit next to you in that writer's seminar!

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  4. I loved your post and the music is truly belssing me. I love this song! As you know i have People issues,which is why I am so comfortable by myself. I need positive influence, I don't need anyone adding bad habits on. I believe we are the sum total of those who have influence in our lives. I need people who are able to call me on the carpet and be honest--talking about people and in other people's business, that's a waste of my time. I have enough personal issues that I'm trying to work through.

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  5. @That OG Chele... aw yes, the diamonds in the rough... that describe's Havi exactly...

    @ That "Wanna-Be" OG S23... LBigga loves them exotic types, but she can't have him; I think his wife would cut her over that! LOL!

    And no, I can't hang out with you. Women who wear the clear heels are a BAAAAD influence, so keep it moving! LOL!

    @ That OG Sharon...

    She speaks of fertility and "safe associations"... as usual she breaks it down real propa like...

    Then she drops the microphone, lifts her hands, and walks off stage...

    The MICROPHONE QUEEN has spoken!

    THE MICROPHONE QUEEN IS BACK!


    (minus 1 kidney)!

    The crowd cheers! The crickets cry!

    Welcome back Oldgirl:)

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  6. Oldgirl #24:42:00 PM

    Oldgirl,
    Don't tell me those damned hispanics are dissing you at work! Damn them! I kind of got an anti-hispanic vibe in the post which I of course know is not true, but it reminded me of a funny story my sister told me about her hubby. When he was stationed in Korea, he was having a terrible time with getting the supplies he needed (he is a nice blonde haired, green-eyed anglo).

    Apparently in the Army, the supply chian is controlled by the Puerto Ricans so if they get any sort of anti hispanic vibe, you are basically screwed. Of course, with his nice anglo features and the fact that he was the new guy in town, he was not getting what he needed----UNTIL. . . .
    the supply chain guy walked into my brother in-law's office and saw a photo of my sister on his desk. He did a double take and asked "who is that?" To which my brother-in-law responded "my wife". After that he got anything he needed.

    I am glad you aren't an ass kisser. Not being one myself we are probably both doomed to the lower ranks in the work world, but from the story above, sometimes people just assume you are one way with out digging below the surface. But when they do, they find out things are better than they expected.
    I guess that is what happened to you and Havi.

    I been thinking about you!

    Oldgirl

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  7. @ That Hispanic Platinum Card Carryin' Original Oldgirl!!

    What's up Oldgirl?? Yo man, I ain't hatin' on hispanics!!! You's a hispanic chica... I know you will knock me up side the head if I was hatin...

    But you know me like the back of your hand... you get my point...

    No, I ain't hatin' on hispanics... It's just a couple of em up here who like to lift their feet and give me a GOOD HARD shove when I'm standing on a curb and the bus is coming... They like to make sure I get HIT!!!

    My answer to that: Get somewhere and work on your self esteem! Stop being intimidated by the O.G.!! You too are special!!

    Because let's face it... people don't set out to get at you unless they are feeling bad about themselves in some way or another... (Microphone Queen, you can have your mike back, now, LOL)

    Yeah, that's the ticket.

    Funny story!! You always got the good stories!!

    Miss you much, OG :) We gotta talk REAL soon...

    Love Ladylee:)

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Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!