A Visit from an Old Friend... An Old Influence

Beware, this is a um... dark post, not my usual funny, funny... Tread carefully...

I am a strange Oldgirl...

I, like most, have idiosyncracies...and I don't apologize for that. I'm only human.

I detest running with the crowd, or even getting hype about whatever is the the trend of the moment... It all makes me want to gag. I get in A LOT of trouble for not having the knack of saying all the right things, or being a people pleaser.

It wouldn't bother me one bit to work all day in a small cubicle up on the roof of my workplace all alone, with no contact whatsoever with people.

Ain't nothing but peace to me. And I'd probably get 10 times as much work done, you know.

If you're not speaking good words to me, words to uplift me, words to get me going in the right direction, words to soothe my soul, words of correction and chastisement from the heart... just not having a positive influence on me at all... then I ain't trying to deal with you...

And I boldly say, if I'm not doing the same for you, then you don't need to be dealing with me...

Keep It Movin'...

Our lives are too damn important to be around folks that are keeping us in some form of bondage. I will go on to say, most issues we have are intricately connected to some bad or strange relations and/or interactions with someone in our lives in the past...

I don't really know why, but that's just me, and how I feel. I'm 36 now, and all I know, once I turned 30, my tolerance for people's B.S. went waaaaay down... Let's just say my patience is as thin as a peice of paper...

Meaning, I can't deal with you if you are a messy person, a dramatic person, a person of low self-esteem (i.e., one who needs their ego CONSTANTLY stroked and/or validated), people who only talk to me when they want something, or one who is exceedingly negative...

Sorry, but you need to keep it moving... we ain't in high school, we ain't in college, and this ain't a popularity contest... We is GROWN, so act grown...

No, I'm not the most positive person on the planet, but it don't help me to hang with a bunch of negative peeps...

Ooooh, Ladylee is not so funny today is she? Nope. This is just me, what's been at the forefront of my mind for a minute. I get a lot of criticism for being a bit too flowery and funny on this blog, not showing enough of the real me... but hey, this is one of them posts where you see a bit of my serious side... so catch it while you can (LOL!)

Anyway, I am very careful about who I deal with. Man, I got folks that have a stank attitude towards me right now, because I am not skilled in saying ALL the right things, doing ALL of what they think I should do for them, or even if I have a bad day, etc... I can't figure out what I did to them, and frankly, since I don't go out of my way to purposefully hurt people, I really don't care.

Oh well, that's cool... keeps them out of my way. LOL!

Now one thing I detest is lazy people, people whose laziness make it hard for everyonoe else. We have this problem on my job. And what's so terribly twisted about it, such behaviour seems to be rewarded...

While a foot is put up the ass of the diligent.

So twisted... so it seems that it's just best to be lazy... hmmm...

*Lee reluctantly getting off of the soapbox and kicking it off in the bushes*

Anyway, a bit of bright sunshine shined in my life last week.

Cowgirl Cre and I were sitting in the large, two person cubicle that we share one day last week, quietly eating our lunch. I was reading a book, and she was reading also.

All was quiet.

Someone walked up behind us, and softly said in a thick hispanic accent...

"Do you all still work here? Do you do work?"

I didn't even turn around to see who it was...

I was too busy looking for my shovel, so I could run out back and dig up my Book of Cuss!

I looked over at Cowgirl Cre, and apparently, she too was looking for that same shovel.

(Let's just say I stay clear of a couple of people out of the Hispanic sector at work since they like to grab me and throw me under the bus from time to time.)

I eventually turned around, to see a coworker who'd transferred to a new location within our organization a few years ago...

My ex-coworker Havi...



Now Havi was a special type of person. One who didn't backbite or backstab. One who didn't need his ego stroked. One who wasn't dramatic, i.e., didn't keep a bunch of mess going. The type of person that you don't have to watch. Just a great all around guy. He was a very honest and hard worker... extremely diligent. And if there is one thing I like, I like a hard, honest worker.

We had a long conversation one day a few years ago, you know, one of those unforgetable convos where you come to a very clear understanding with a person, and see eye-to-eye on some things. He wanted to learn some of the equipment that I was very knowledgable of, but I could tell he had heard a lot of crazy stuff about me, and was hesitant to approach me about it. (I, Ladylee, am not the most political or congenial individual, i.e., I'm not an ass-kisser, so on the job, that makes me... incredibly and automatically EVIL, LOL!). But I told him, give me 10 minutes a day of your time, just when you finish your own work, just 10 minutes a day, and I will teach you all I know. You can either believe what the haters say about me, or make up your own mind, but I will teach you all that I can, if you want. Just because I hold a Ph.D. does not mean I walk around with my nose in the air. I don't have ego issues! if you want to learn, I will fervently teach you! Heck, you may figure out something I can't figure out, or even teach me something new. And I am down for that!

Well, he decided to roll with me, and was diligent about giving me his 10 minutes a day. He soaked up everything I taught him, and was able to eventually take on some of the more tedious and difficult projects of our group. I remember when he use to walk up on me with a worried look, asking my advice on how to do a particular analysis, wanting to try a different approach, just kicking ideas past me, to see what I think. I would just let him talk and talk, let him hear himself talk the problem out and figure it out for himself.

I would always just nod and say.... "Do your thang, man... try it and see what happens, I trust your judgement."

Damn, why can't it be that way with everybody?

It's sad to say that I can't say that to many people... "I trust your judgement". Sad, sad, sad.

Anyway, Havi was able to transfer out of our group and back to a branch in his hometown of Puerto Rico, and is working with some of the same equipment that I had the opportunity to show and teach him how to use...

So when I turned around that day last week and saw him standing there, smiling like the cheshire cat... I did all I could not to shed a tear or two...

I just jumped up and tackled and hugged him (LOL)!!

I miss him so much...

See, I can't stand lazy people, because laziness is something that I myself struggle with. And it's not that outright laziness, where I am just sorry as hell (you know, we all know people like that). But for me, it's that laziness where I have a slow day, where I only get half as much done as I should have gotten done, and it's all my fault because I am slacking and unmotivated, or just not feeling well that day... THAT brand of laziness.

So I run from those who have a rep of being lazy or trifling... because, it is my belief that whoever you hang around too much with, well, you start to pick up some of their characteristics...

And that scares me.

One of the biggest things on my prayer list is a prayer to become a diligent person, and it is an honor and a great influence when I cross paths with very diligent people. Because meeting such persons is a rarity in my life. I find that I always pick up some of their characteristics, some of the missing points that I need to make me a better worker... a better person.

I miss Havi because he was kind, good-hearted, an honest hard worker...and very diligent. When we worked together, I worked harder, worked so much smarter. Heck, I didn't even mind coming to work some days, because I knew that he and I were going to get a lot done.

So Havi, I miss you man! I miss the influence you had on me...

Lord knows I need your diligent behind back here in the ATL...

But hey man, I know you wanted to go back home to that beautiful island, and you got there...

Thanks for stopping by and visiting, and making us laugh... You almost got read a few verses from my Book of Cuss!!

You be sure to come back again soon...