"Hot"

This post is dedicated to my beloved blog sistas Serenity23, The DJ DIVA, and LB (aka LBoogie, LBeezy, the LadyBug Mocha). Ya’ll are CONSTANTLY picking on me about some of my more private tales, stuff we discuss over on the email thread. It amazes me how much you chickens REMEMBER and laugh about… and here’s more ammunition for your guns…

(Don’t worry girls… I keep it clean. DJ DIVA and S23—I am warning you. (You too, LB) I will tolerate NO rough comments from you. Get on the thread and talk ish instead, like you ALWAYS do. LOL!)


I like it when LadyTee and I attend church together...

The biggest reason is because I get a chance to see her. We rarely go to the same services. She likes the late service, and I like the early service. So most times we miss each other. However, we do talk about church later on in the day, trade up notes, etc…

Second, she knows my ways. If we go to church together, she can look up the Bible verses and I can concentrate on my notes. She don’t care about this arrangement, because she’s going to copy off my paper anyway. LOL.

One Sunday, me, LadyTee, and her Baby Daddy Big Corey were sitting in church listening to the sermon. My pastor said turn to James 3:6.

I nudged LadyTee.

She didn't move. She just sat there, hands resting on her Bible.

And then she whispered something.

I was wondering if she was praying or something. I gave her a moment (all of five seconds) to wrap up that little prayer, then nudged her again. I nudged her again.

“Tee, turn to the book of James, chapter 3,” I whispered. I leaned over and tried to help her out by quickly flipping the thin pages of her big bible. My head was a little closer to her as I leaned over

She whispered something inaudible into my ear.

I didn’t know what she said. All I heard were the words “usher” and “hot”.

I glanced her way. She had a sly smile on her face.

"Turn to the book of James, man!" I whispered.

She bit her bottom lip. “Lee, the usher is hot.”

I frowned. She nodded in direction of the aisle, a full grin threatening to spread across her face.

There, in the aisle, approximately 10 feet away, stood the most beautifullest black man on the planet. He wasn’t tall, but tall enough, about 5’10”. He was chock full of muscles, so many that he looked like he would bust out of that suit at any minute. He looked liked he may have been an all star running back back in the day. If someone would have happened to hand off a football to him, he would know exactly what to do.

But he was just standing there in the aisle… gripping a box of tissues in one hand and offerring envelopes in the other…

…and he had the one characteristic that LadyTee knows that I love…

He was Hershey-Bar dark. As a matter of fact, he was several shades past Hershey bar dark.

Made me want to jump up and yell “GLORY!”

It was one of those moments-- Me and LadyTee sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, eyes squinted, staring at this beautiful black man.

“The Usher is hot,” LadyTee whispered once again. I heard each and every word she said THAT time.

She knows how much I love jet black men. I always have my digital camera on hand, but left it at home... I surely needed my camera THAT day.

We both glanced over at Big Corey, hoping he wouldn’t be looking at us. He was paying close attention to the sermon.

Good.

Maybe he could fill me and LadyTee in on the important points we missed…

Yeah, we stared at the brother, as he walked slowly back and forth up the aisle, for all of five minutes. It briefly crossed my mind to raise one finger in the air so that he would walk our way. But I think both LadyTee and I would have passed out on the spot.

Then we got our heads and minds back straight, realizing we were in church. I began taking notes again. LadyTee went back to finding bible verses.

On the way out of the church, the Hot Usher was standing in the back. LadyTee nudged me again ("He is hot, Lee.") We both stared him down on the sly.

We couldn’t talk about him with Big Corey there. No need for LadyTee getting cussed out in the church lobby.

But we laughed about it later.

“Lee, I can’t believe you didn’t notice dude. I saw him before you did. And you know I can’t stand dark men.”

(Yeah, LadyTee likes her men who linger around the “high yella” to redbone stages.)

“That dude been hanging with 50 Cent!!” she said later on the phone. “You know he hot if I’m looking at him, because I don’t like no charcoal black men like you do, Lee. But his body was like 'WHOA'".

So, now we see the usher all the time. I actually ran up on him and asked a question. (Don’t worry, it was a legitimate question).

And his voice… made me pause.

Low, deep, and smoky. Dark, just like him.

And of course LadyTee and I discussed this later, LOL.

"Tee, the dude voice is like "WHOA""!

"Sure is," she said. "I ran up on him and asked a question already."

Naw… I ain’t trying to run up on the brother. And LadyTee wasn't either (She continuously reiterates that she can't stand no dark man, LOL). He can’t be a day over 30, and I, at age 37, don’t want no parts of a younger man. Besides, LadyLee don’t be jocking negroes at church. That’s not my reason for attending worship services...

It’s just that sometimes…

It is nice, you know…

To see a hot Usher.

LOL!

Just a nice little story… something funny for you on this Wednesday morn.

Have a nice day!