Monday, January 25, 2016

Some Things Shouldn't Be Microwaved...


My coworker Lady M brought in what I thought was microwavable popcorn.

"You want this, LadyLee?"

I, like I said, thought it was some microwavable popcorn. I rarely eat it. I prefer to pop my own.

I like to pop it on the stove top with a little olive oil and sea salt. You know, like we did before the invention of microwaves.

But she handed me the package. It was not popcorn.

It was microwavable pork rinds.

"Ewwww," was my immediate response.

"Don [her husband] bought those," she said. "You can have them."

Who on earth thought of the idea of microwavable pork rinds? Why would one even want that?  Can't you just go to your local 'hood gas station and buy a bag of pork rinds? Why go through the trouble of placing them in the microwave and waiting around on them to "pop" or warm up, or whatever they do in the microwave.

Needless to say, I didn't want them. But others in the cubicle area were interested, and Lady M went downstairs and "popped" them in the microwave.

There were even instructions.

I'm a bit taken aback with the instruction to "Watch!!!" Those three exclamation points make it loud and clear: you best not walk away from it.

I bet the smell of burnt pork skins is worse than the smell of burnt popcorn. Any day.

It looks simple enough.

Looks like some pork skins. I tasted one. There was salt on it.

Why would one put salt on an already inherently salty pork skin?

I don't know.

"Don needs his behind whooped for buying those," I said.

"They're Laury's," she said.

And we all know about Laurys season salt.

"That ain't the same Laurys, hon," I said. "Nope."

No it is not. But it's obvious that there is a market for microwavable pork skins.

And I'll let ya'll deal with that. It's definitely not for me.


  1. lol -- btw, I'm an old school popcorn maker too. It's healthier and it tastes better.

  2. I used to LOVE them things....then I stopped being able to find them....sprinkle hot sauce on them....yummy....but lemme country self is showing. lol

  3. Love me some good popcorn, there is a popcorn truck in DC, the wait in line used to be 20 minutes. The flavors were so good and the popcorn was fresh. I purchased the microwave pork rinds as a joke for my 9&10yr old cousins. Bless their hearts they were confused.


Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!