Dear President Bush,
Thank you so very much for cutting your month long vacation at your wonderful Crawford Texas ranch short by two whole days in order to fly back to Washington, D.C. and address the the near apocalyptic devastation left by Hurricane Katrina. That was so nice of you to do that, being that you're our president and all.
I know, I know. It's okay that you wanted to stay hidden, tucked away at your ranch. Why, I don't blame you, you know, with Cindy Sheehan, that dead soldier's mom, lurking somewhere nearby, ready to take a baseball bat to your head. If no one else understands your fear, I do.
I bet it wasn't even your decision to cut your vacation short, was it? Thank goodness for those knowledgable advisors and pollsters standing around you!! I bet they were whispering oh so quietly in your ear, "Um, excuse me Mr. President, but the entire Gulf Region is now in third world status. You should say a word or two, maybe even head back to Washington a day or two earlier."
Yes, I know. I realize that most of the people devastated by this disaster are not your constituents. I mean just look at them. Many of them don't even have cars! They really don't count in the long run, most of them being poor and all, do they? Why should you concern yourself with something that doesn't help you politically?
You've done so much to help other countries. That 87 billion dollars for the war against terror is something to behold. All that money that was raised for the tsunami victims was amazing (and you spearheaded that so fast, didn't you?) Not to mention the wonderfully priced gas in Iraq (0.05 cents per gallon-what a bargain!).
And I like what you said the other day: Something to the affect of "Don't buy gas if you don't need it." Gee, I hope your special friends aren't upset with you for that comment. (You can just tell them you were just kidding... They'll understand!)
What's your approval rate right now? 40%? That's an all-time low isn't it?
This may even stop your approval rate from the nosedive it's currently in!
Yes Mr. Bush. Thanks for taking care of all the problems of the world.
Now it's okay to take care of the problems in your own house.
Trust me, it really is okay... I think the American people would appreciate it.
I know I would...