The Essential Art of Pimping, Part II

So...

Tayari Jones was at the MM House...

And as usual, she gave a great read and wittingly answered questions.

And she signed a lot of books. Heck, I even wanted to buy a book for her to sign. Mine were signed 2 years ago. I brought my copy of Gumbo, which contained her short story, Press and Curl, the first piece I've read by her. So she signed it.

(Next time, use my real name, Man... Although "Nettie" is cool! LOL)

Anyway, that was that. I hung out a little longer to talk to her and take a few pictures. No, I didn't ask her any writer questions. I look at her like she is Celie now, a cousin or something, and I got a WHOLE bunch of questions answered about some things that were deeply disturbing me about writing during the "conversation" between Tayari and Le.e Smi.th, so I was exceedingly happy about that.

Another exciting thing... I met an author at MM House, who is in a writing club here in Atlanta and she gave me some information about it. I, LadyLee, am in DESPERATE need of some type of writing group, critique group something, as I write profusely these days. So I happened to be in the right place at the right time. I'm definitely going to check it out.

Well, Tayari had a headlining talk at the .AWP conference. From what I can tell, this appears to be a conference for writers and people in the writing profession (publishers, editors, etc.). It was held at the downtown Atlanta Hil.ton. I was stoked about that because I live two miles from the Hilton. So it was just a matter of jumping in the car and getting on down there!

Well, I walked into the hotel and walked around. Even went and checked out some of the tables and brochures, etc...

Let's just say, there was A LOT going on. There were a couple of mixers going on, a bit of rowdiness...

And let's just say I heard a few convos that were a bit too much for my tender ears.

Yeah, let's just leave it at that. The point: people were having a GOOD time.

Well, Tayari's talk was at 8:30 pm. I wanted to sit on the front row, but I sat on the third row. (I would have hurt whoever would've told me to get off the first row!) Tayari came in dressed to kill as always and she was sporting some insane boots.



(And what was up with the fishnet stockings, Tayari? Hmmm?)

Whoa. A crocodile skin get-up with the clear heels. More specifically, a pair of "brown croco-embossed boots with a clear lucite wedge heel". (Yeah, the way she said it sounds muuuuuch better).

I don't know, man. I don't know how she pulled it off, but she was rocking those boots. I am thoroughly convinced that Tayari does not shop for shoes at all... She has her own special shoe fairy that jumps off a cloud or climbs down a tree with a lovely display of highly eclectic shoes. No one could pick shoes that so perfectly coordinate with their outfits like her.

Let's just say everyone was completely and utterly mesmerized by the boots. They made a statement, that's for sure.

And again, she had to walk up on stage. And again, I was sitting there thinking...

"Please don't fall!!!"

I, however, am so disturbed by clear heels. I was chatting over email last year with Serenity23 and The DJ Diva, and the subject of clear heels came up. Serenity23 was irate about them, and I asked her what the problem was with clear heels. She said they were stripper shoes. And low and behold, everytime I see a story about strippers on the news, etc...

They always show pictures of the high heel shoes having the clear heels... and it's those big blocky looking clear heels, not the lucite wedge type.

But Gee Tayari... clear heels and fishnet stockings...

*crickets*

Okay, never mind. I don't feel like getting blasted today.

The boots were hot, and you rocked them! Go on, Celie! YOU do YOU!

Moving right along...

I was overly excited by this talk because she was reading from her novel-in-progress, "The Outside Child". And I tell you, she did a fantastic job as always. It looks like it is going to be a very good story. Can't wait for it to come out.

Tayari, feel free to send the first 100 pages my way. You have my e-mail address, my home address... just send that ish whenever you feel like it. (Yes, i will continue to lobby for it FOREVER).

I also got a chance to meet Tayari's mother. We rode up in the elevator together. Her mother's friend recognized me, but didnt' say anything. But she talked to me later. That was so funny to hear "Are you LadyLee?!!" My 5 seconds of celebrity! Oh joy!

Well, I talked with Tayari again, took a few pics (darn, I HATE that I lost my pics!), and headed on home.

And I pondered the whole experience.

I will go on and say it. The title of this post is pretty harsh... so much so that Tayari couldn't link it, due to it possibly disturbing some of the readers of her site. (It's. A. Metaphor.)

"The Essential Art of Pimping"

I didn't name it that to be funny, but it is just harsh. But that is how I feel about the whole experience of writing your work and having to work hard to get out there and sell your book, whether it be to an agent, a publisher, or a fickle audience. It is harsh, just like the word "pimping", because one has to essentially get out there stomping the pavement, talking about that book, reading from that book, talking about WHY you wrote the book, why you write in general, etc... the whole nine.

Shoot man, I understand the whole "pimping ain't easy" cliche these days.

It is a harsh thing. And I must say that it leaves me completely exasperated and deflated. To think that I have written something great (in my own eyes, of course-- am I not suppose to feel that way about my own stuff? LOL) and have to fight through all the nerves, the criticisms, the EVERYTHING just to sell it... a harsh thing indeed.

And man, I am feeling like I am too old for all this hoop jumping...

I told Tayari's friend The Good Nurse that she might have to watch out... I may just throw everything I write up on my blog... Not sure if I can handle a publisher clutching me by the throat concerning my work or anything I do. I am not sure if my skin is thick enough. Not sure I can handle not being thought of as a writer just because I don't have all these publication, etc.

Like I said in the previous post, and something that I am trying to come to terms with... I LIKE WHAT I WRITE. If no one does, I DO. And I take solace in that.

I think it bothers me that writing is such a solitary profession, and all of a sudden, you have to be this outgoing person to sell your book. And I have seen and met a lot of authors who are not all that outgoing, who don't care to even talk to people... just a bundle of nervers. I mean, they are not being hard-asses or anything... It's just their personality.

But at the same time, I am biased... You gotta do what you gotta do. Period. I've had to stand up and give scientific talks with no notes and no stuttering. It took me two hours to defend my dissertation. There was nothing worse than giving a talk while being scrutinized and shot down.

Shoot, what's wrong with doing all you can to sell your book, then?

Get over and do it, I want to scream. Jump the freakin' hurdle!


But like I said, and totally understand, some authors... it's just not their thing. And I am beginning to understand that after pumping out my own manuscript and getting in shape for submission, having to discuss it with people, etc. When Tayari asked me what my manuscript was about (I would have NEVER bought the subject on my own due to it being bad etiquette), I was a bag of nerves, not knowing what to say or do...

Which brings me back to this whole "pimping" exercise. I think I commented to an author, I can't remember who right now, that I realized that one really has to be excited about their work, and really get out there in the streets and grind. It is almost like a dealer selling drugs or a pimp selling women... That is harsh, and I don't care for that AT ALL.

Which brings me back to Tayari. She is most definitely one of the most vigilant authors I've ever seen. She does it RIGHT. She is powerfully efficient and successful at stepping on stage, reading excerpts and making people WANT to buy the book. I am completely and utterly blown away by the fact that she can take a book that is 5 years old, and make it sound new, fresh, and exciting. I mean, that just rocks my damn world.

Hell, I almost bought more copies of both of her books my ownself.

Now THAT'S why I get so freakin' excited when she comes to town. Don't mean to jock her, but it is what it is. I am not all that big on questions... I just like to watch her, and learn how it is done, how to do it all RIGHT. She does it all, and she does it well... Almost like a case study, a "how to" of how to sell your product... something that I have been a bit worried about for a while now. Like I said, I LIKE WHAT I WRITE. You want to buy my stuff, fine. If you don't, then fine. I LIKE IT.

I gots to kill that attitude. Real quick. And it is slowly burning away the more I sit back and watch someone who has mastered it.

Watching her do what she do, i.e., watching her pimp...

Gives me hope.

And that's all I can ask for.

So Tayari, you did good, gal! I will be there, taking mental notes, learning this "game" from the best...

See ya soon... and uh rah... hurry up with The Outside Child.


Your fans have waited MUCH too long!