Convo with the Queen!!

I had a convo with the Queen the other day...

Yeah, that's me that her majesty is calling on the phone... The Queen was like...

'Sup LadyLee!!! Let's get together for a spot of tea and a couple of scones! Hollar back, You Original Oldgirl You!"

Yeah, right...

I ain't talking about Queen Elizabeth...

I'm talking about my faaaaaaaavoorrrrrittttte author, the REAL Queen!!


TAYARI JONES! The Queen of LURK CITY, Inc.

I call her the Queen of LURK City because like many, she lurks over here on my blog from time to time. She is getting better about raising her diamond and pearl encrusted gold scepter and blessing me with a comment or two every blue moon.

*Lee bowing so low that her lips kiss the ground*

I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!!

And if you didn't know, I am her #1 Fan. I am not a groupie. A groupie follows people around, waits outside of hotels, weird stuff like that... I'm too old for that ish. Shoulda caught me when I was in my late teens/early twenties. The Queen of Lurk City better let an Oldgirl know when she's gonna be in town. I'm always quick to show up and give my full support then.

But I am a big fan... I worship the ground she spits on...

And I JOCK very hard. And I am proud to say that.

Blog fam screams... "Stop all that jocking, LadyLee!!!"

Shut up.

'Tis a priviledge to be jocked by me. Afterall, LadyLee don't jock many folks.

Well, as some of you may know, I've been in a writing class for the past 6 weeks. It was an enlightening experience. I won't write about it now, but later, I will reflect.

Anyway, we were required to write a story for the class. And you know me, being a #1 fan and all, I named my story "Leaving Jersey" which is a take-off of Tayari's novel Leaving Atlanta.

Yes... that's a real fan for you.

I even emailed her about that story. I gave my first reading EVER in class and I wanted to tell her about it. She sent an email back saying...

"...I'd love to read your story if you feel comfortable sending it. :)"

I was like... WTF???

Let's just say an Oldgirl had brain freeze for the rest of the day.

Now, asking her to read a story has been an issue that I have debated many a time with peeps. Even Tayari's good friend, The Good Nurse, said she didn't think Tayari would mind reading a little something. Good Nurse almost heard the good dial tone after that statement. She almost got hung up on, LOL. One of my book club sistas was like "Bump that, I would just have to be uncouth and ask her." A full fledge brawl almost broke out after that comment.

To hell with that! My whole answer has been that it is NOT proper writer etiquette to ask a writer to read ANYTHING. Not sure where I got that from, but I have heard it around. I am sure that is out of some writers etiquette book that I haven't been able to get a hold of. Anyway, I am VERY adamant about doing that.

I don't want the Queen to think that is the only reason I would run up on her. And I know she knows that I am in a learning stage right now, just happy to learn. My coworkers and such read my stuff. And that is good enough for me, until I get better.

Plus Tayari is good people, like Miss Celie. This is why I call her that, you see.

'Tis rare for me to like people, you see. And the more I talk to her, the more I realize that she is just, well... normal. For some odd reason, I don't envision her sitting on a perfect mountaintop anymore, in the perfect breeze, writing perfect prose all day. She's just a normal chick.

And me casually asking... "Hey Celie, could you read this for me?"

Shoot. That don't cross my mind, and it don't even sound right. I almost had a stroke when she asked me what my manuscript was about. Asking her to read something? Now that's just downright crazy.

But I sent my rough 5 page beginning of "Leaving Jersey" to her anyway. Haven't heard anything back about it. She said she was going to critique it and send it to me. That almost caused me to break out in hives. I am not looking forward to that. Don't know how hard she beats the brakes off of people's writings. May take a bit of courage just to read what she has to say about it. All in all, I know it will help me better the story.

We were also instructed to pick a short story to read, one that we have read before that we really liked. We had to read a page of it a day, read it forward, read it backwards and side-to-side. Just read it real HARD and dissect it and study the structure, voice, characters, etc...

Of course I chose one of Tayari's stories: "Press and Curl".

I'd been studying that story REALLY REALLY hard for a couple of weeks. I picked it like an afro, and saw a lot of interesting things. I emailed Tayari a question about how she determines the "voice" of a character.

She emailed me back. "Let's talk on the phone about this. Call me at 123-555-1234"

**crickets**

I had to peer hard at that email. I turned around and called over my cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre. We both stared at it hard. Pondered it deeply. We were wondering if she was stranded or something, like the last time she emailed me her phone number.

A telephone number. And I think it was a home phone number. WOW. I saw The Good Nurse whip out her cell phone and call her while she, myself, and my brother were dining at the shed. My brother and I talked about that later on...

"Did you see The Good Nurse just whip out her phone and call her??"

We were in deep awe, to say the least...

I called her, and we talked about my question, which was HARD. Why? Because even though I am very bright and hold a doctorate degree in organic chemistry, I am very much ebonically inclined. So, I try to watch my english, especially since hers is so PERFECT. This is hard because that means I talk slooooowww when I do that.

I know she was wondering "Why is the Oldgirl all tongue-twisted and tripping all over her words? Good grief."

Your english gotta be right and proper when you talk to the Queen... right?

She answered my question, like she always does, with the greatest of ease. She made it all so... clear and simple. She asked if I had any more questions and I do have a zillion, but I told her that I would ask her a question a month or something like that, LOL. I think we talked for about 15 minutes, which is the same as a one day writing workshop when dealing with her.

Now if you've seen the 70's Japanenes anime Cartoon SpeedRacer, you would know that their are times when the SpeedRacer gets into a bind, and then Racer X comes along and gets him out of that situation. Racer X knows he is the man... he's just trying to help Speedy out, make sure Speedy is on the right road, and get the heck out of dodge...

Tayari is Racer X...

I am the SpeedRacer!

LOL LOL LOL ROTFLMAO!!!!!

So thanks Tayari a.k.a. Queen of Lurk City, Inc. a.k.a. Miss Celie...

I came away enlightened and refreshed. I used her advice to make my story better... much better. "Leaving Jersey" is a rough 35 pages long now... Needs a lot of work, but I have some good ideas about how to shape it up.

Yo... and I know if I can't figure out?

A convo with the Queen will do the trick!!