I didn't do my usual "Happy Monday Morning" Post this morning.
I decided that I would do it tonight.
Just leaving out the "Happy" and the "Morning" part, no less.
It's just Monday.
And I woke up this morning, staring at the whirring ceiling fan, thinking.
I need to decompress.
And hit the reset button.
As I am not the most learned Oldgirl out there, I have to look these words up.
decompress- to relax; to unwind; to bring a person exposed to conditions of increased pressure back to normal pressure.
reset- change the reading of.
I've spent the last 7 days upset and anxious. Work has been hectic, followed by running around in the evening, followed by going to sleep at 1 or 2 in the morning. Ugh.
I was suppose to go to a party on Saturday night. But I was not in the mood. I own not one piece of "elegant" wear, which meant I needed to blend in with the help. I didn't have a gift. Just was upset, and a bit scatter-scatter about stuff. I have no idea how to go from a funeral to a party.
That would have been like rolling down the highway at 100 miles an hour and deciding to kick a U-turn...
... without slowing down.
And nobody needed to deal with my Lurch ass. I ain't no good for the scene when I am brooding.
I haven't had much "me" time lately.
I needed to hit the reset button. I needed to decompress.
And it was labor day. I planned to do some things I had cast to the side all week...
Like lounge on my sofa and watch televison.
Like pick up that book I'd been reading.
Like listen to some Ol' school music.
All that stuff got cast to the side last week. My favorite things, things that are as involuntary for me as blinking, were put on pause...
Ya'll who've read this blog know how I am. I give myself a finite amount of time to be pissed about certain things. In this case, I give myself enough time to be distraught. I have learned that being pissed and being distraught are too vastly different emotions, but I have to apply the same ol' methods.
Give it time. Then at least try to move on.
Moving on ain't that easy.
I wept half as much as I did yesterday.
And I accomplished small goals today.
I sat on the sofa, and watched tv.
I managed to crochet for an hour.
Laid in bed and listened to a few songs.
I read 4 chapters of my book... (Beezy, this book is moving too slow).
I made an effort this Monday to reset and decompress... and felt ok about it.
I am proud of me for my efforts, no matter how mundane they may be...
And more important, I know my friend is proud of me...
And I know I must be mindful of that.
Because that makes, and will continue to make, all the difference.
Being Present -
11 hours ago