Birthday Run-Down 2008

Alert: *NEXT WEEK IS STORY WEEK*

Okay, okay.. I'll kill the long posts. But you know I LIKE my long posts. Really, I do. Here's a hint: I come back and read my long posts when I need some encouragement. Yeah. You feel me? I thought you would.

We'll make this one short and sweet. Or at least try.

I took my birthday off from work. Haven't worked on my birthday in years, and never plan to work on the day ever again. I look forward to that. And here's a run-down of my day.

1. I woke up at about 4 a.m., my usual wake up time. Laid in bed and watched TV.

2. My sister Kentucky came downstairs at about 6:30 a.m. I thought she was going to say "Happy Birthday, Lisa". Nope. She said "Lisa, I can't find my glasses!!!!" I got out of bed to follow her back up to her room. She says "Oh, and happy birthday." I give her the gas face. I go upstairs and get on my knees and look under the bed for her glasses. (Gotta help her. She's blind as a bat!). She finds them on the side of the bed. I give her the gas face again. I get on her computer and finish by birthday introspection blog.

3. Around 10:00, I arrive at the accountant's office who does my taxes every year. I ride up and down the elevators more than I care to. I get lost because I forget what floor the place is on everytime.

4. A young chick welcomes me into the office. I notice that she has an UNCANNY resemblance to blogger LBeezy. She even has LBeezy's New Orleans accent. I peer at her curiously. She has a large gold hoop earring with the word "Shorty" in cursive in the hoop, in like, size 36 font. I realize that it can't be LBeezy because she don't roll like that (at least I hope she don't.) Turns out that this girl is the one doing my taxes. I want to tell her "No, Shorty", but I don't. I reluctantly hand her my large manilla envelope of paperwork.

She does my taxes, and DAYUM, she is smart as all get out. Gave me some financial advice out of this world. Shorty knew her stuff. I told her that I was trying to get debt-free this year, and I ain't down with getting all this tax money back. I NEEDS my money year-round. We came up with a plan, and it was reasonable. I took her card, so I can call her back. THAT CHICK KNEW EVERYTHING. Incredible. My goodness.

I peer at her curiously again. Is it Lbeezy in disguise? Because LBeezy is smart like that.

No, LBeezy don't have green eyes. Sigh.

GO "SHORTY", with your ghettofabulous shorty hoop earring. I ain't mad at you, because you did the hell out of my taxes!!!

5. Yacked on the phone with my Auntie Joyce when she called to wish me a happy birthday. She told me to give Grandma a call.

6. I went to the Tag office. Stood in line for about 15 minutes for my tag. Usually I am in and out in 5 minutes. They were slow that day, and I wanted to go off, lol.

7. Called Grandma. She wished me a happy birthday. We talked about her morning. (It is 11:45 a.m. at that time.) I told Grandma that I was going to cash in some change at Kroger. Grandma gets perturbed that I didn't sit down and roll up my change. I told her I am lazy. She gives me a long lesson on rolling up change. (Ain't no way I am doing that.)

8. Every year, I save spare change from birthday to birthday, then I go cash it in at the automatic machine at Krogers. I usually have about 80-90 bucks. This year I had $61.01. What a rough year. Humph.

9. Drove waaay down to Fayetteville, and went to Joanns art and fabric store. Man, this is the only place that has a GOOD supply of yarn. Too bad it's 25 miles south of downtown, where I live. But I felt like perusing the yarn.

Before I got out of the car, my cell phone rang and it was the LBeezy. She sang "Happy Birthday" in a most offkey sort of way. I called her "non-singing". She verbally snapped my neck for saying such a thing. I let her know she was NOT the next American Idol. She verbally shanked me.

(Uh, I apologize, LB... others called that day and sang versions of "Happy Birthday" that were truly horrific. As a matter of fact they made you sound like Patti Labelle, Aretha Franklin, even. My dear... You ARE the next American Idol. Yes you are! LOL!)

10. LadyTee calls while I'm in the store sniffing and squeezing yarn.

"Where you at, girl?" she asked.
"Fayetteville." I sniff some gray heather yarn and start looking at the lot numbers. "Why?"
"Man, I was gonna come over! I don't have class 'til 2 o'clock."
I groan. "Why you didn't tell me that? We could've had lunch."
"Shut up, man!" she yells.

We yack a little longer. People peer at me curiously because I am so loud in my convo with LadyTee.

I don't care what they say. It's my birthday, I can talk as loud as I like. And I yack hard for about 45 minutes.

11. I stop in Wal-mart in Riverdale to get some much needed items for the house (cleaner, papertowels, tissue, detergent, etc.) I am in there for an hour.
As I am leaving, I get a phone call.

"Hello?"
"**cluttered language**"
"What?"
"How's your birthday?"
"Who is this?"
"Tiffany *unitelligble language*
I get PISSED. My supervisor's name is Tiffany. The Darth Sista KNOW she better not even THINK about calling me when I am off.
"Hold on, hold on."
I push my buggy out of the store.
"Say your name REAL clear and REAL LOUD," I yell.
"Tiffy D."
I break out into a smile. "OH! Tiffy D! My gang leader."

*LadyLee resisting the urge to throw up the Triple F Possee gang sign in the middle of the Wal-mart parking lot*

We talk for a few minutes. She is my Financial Freedom gang leader. Thought it was my supervisor and I was going to have to snap on her for disturbing me on my birthday. (That's why I made SURE I was outside first.) I didn't give a FLIP what was happening in the lab. It is my birthday. Do NOT disturb ME about no work related mess!!!

I am HAPPY to talk to Tiffy D about my tax experience with "Shorty" that morning. And it is like if you run track, and you see your track coach somewhere, you automatically start running in place.

I give her a rundown of my day financially, and I get especially elated when talking about my tax experience with "Shorty" that morning.

It is now about 3:00 p.m.

12. I go home and unload my Wal-mart loot. LadyTee calls.
"I'm coming over," she says.
"Okay!" I yell. My grin is wide like Miss Celie's!
She is around the corner, and gets to my house in 10 minutes.

13. She plays with my permanent house guest, Kramer (reluctantly. LadyTee hates cats). We chow on some left over chinese food in the fridge. I put on a wig that my Aunt gave me for Christmas, and LadyTee styles it for me. (LadyTee is a high heel wearing girly-girl and LOVES this interaction).

14. My sister Kentucky calls and asks if I want some Jamaican food. "Sure," I say. "That can be lunch for tomorrow." LadyTee wants some too.

15. Kentucky gets home with the food: 3 big styrofoam containers of oxtails, redbeans and rice, cabbage, plantains and co-co bread. LadyTee eats AGAIN. I don't. I sit and stare...watching as she groans with the "itis."

16. I show Ladytee the yarn I bought, and I crochet while we watch television.

17. LadyTee goes home. It is 6:00 p.m.

18. I wash clothes, clean up the kitchen, and clean up my room. I spoke with blogger Serenity about a plan she was working concerning a company that wants to hire her. I thought her plan was ingenious (as always). Shoot, made me want to get a plan of my own. Hmmm.

19. I go to bed at 9:00. I do a little journaling, some editing on my manuscript, read a few pages out of a finance book, and watch T.V.

That's what I call a birthday: LadyLee style. Nice and simple.

Next week is ******STORY WEEK*******. Come back and visit!