Crazy Convos: "What a Menace!!"

Like I said in the previous post... I can't STAND calling people. I have to gear myself up to call you. It's probably prearranged that I will be giving you a call. If I call you, I have a reason for calling you. No, I ain't trying to use you (ya'll know I ain't like that). I will call to say thank you, or to check on you, etc. But it is RARE for me to just call you up and be like "Hey, just calling to be calling".

Very rare.

The only person I call like that is my bff LadyTee. We will just hold the phone and watch television together. (Yes, we are pushing up against 40, and we STILL do that high school ish!!)

But one thing that LadyTee will do: call REAL late at night. Close to midnight when I'm knocked out.

And it's never an emergency.

It's over the strangest things.

So...

One night I was bone tired. I'd had a long day, and at least it was Friday night. That meant no alarms the next morning. I could just... sleep.

And you know how you're dreaming, and you hear the phone ringing in your dreams and all that? THAT'S how hard I was sleeping.

So the phone rang. Took me a moment to actually realize it was the phone. LadyTee knows this. I don't have voicemail on the house phone, so uh, it can just ring, ring, ring.

The phone happened to be right next to my head, so it was REAL loud. I usually wonder around like a zombie looking for it. That was not the case that evening.

I squinted at the caller ID. It was Ladytee.

I pushed the talk button.

"Sup, black girl," I mumbled. My voice cracked horribly. I cleared my throat.
"Lee!"
I yawned. "Yeah, man."
"Lee!!!" she yelled.

Now, I noticed that there was MUCH background noise. Sounded like she was at a party and folks were about to fight or something. I heard the sound of loud deep voices. The television or something was up REAL loud.

"Lee!!!"
"Where are you at, Tee? Sounds like somebody fighting or something."
"Lee, these negroes 'bout to catch a foot in their throats."
"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'ma need you to tell these fools what happened to Ol' Dog at the end of Menace II Society!"

*crickets*

I just laid there. Decided to turn on the light. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was 12:50 a.m.

"Lee, you heard me?"
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Yeah."
"These bustas saying Ol' Dog died at the end of Menance II Society!"

She was sooooo heated.

LOL!!

Menance II Society. Hmm. How many of you saw that? Better yet, how many of you STILL watch that movie? (I watched it a month ago when it came on cable. It was still good, but I am getting old, because I winced at all the cursing.)

I loved that movie back in the day. I remember the first time I saw it. I was in graduate school, and I was in the lab working hard on some research, and one of the sistas from a research group upstairs came down to my lab and stood next to me while I was setting up glassware and said, "Lee, you gotta see this movie." I was busy at the time, but with a little coaxing, she convinced me to go see it. The chemical reaction I was setting up needed to stir for several hours so I had time. (It was all quite bootleg. She pulled her car up to the side of the Chemistry building. My lab was on the bottom floor, and we had swing open windows. I jumped out the window, ran across the lawn, jumped in her car and we played a little hooky to go see the movie. When we came back, I climbed back through the window and got back to work.)

Good movie, and Ol' Dog was the best character.


Larenz Tate know he played that part, didn't he?

LadyTee liked the movie too (although she hated the ending. She can't STAND sad endings). She's watched it more times than me, and I think we've watched it together several times.

"Lee, I'm gonna kick some a$$ up in here tonight. These negroes think they know everything!"
"Who you talking about?"
"Nell [her 18 year old son] and Pat [his best friend]."
"Well, Tee, Ol' Dog didn't die at the end."
"I KNOW THAT, Lee!" She turned and yelled real hard at them. "I need you to tell THEM that."

Nell gets on the phone.

"Hey Lee," he said, his voice waaaay too deep. I kid him when I call. "Boy, you sound like somebody Daddy, you Old man you!" I always say.

I went on to explain to him that Ol'Dog didn't die at the end. There is quick clip of Ol' Dog being placed in the police car. Chauncey had turned in the Mini-mart video tape of Ol' Dog shooting and killing the Korean owners, and the police were already looking for him. Kane died at the end, not Ol'Dog.

"Alright, Lee," was his simple response.

(This was a little easier than explaining to him that Nia Long was not in the Thriller video (click here for THAT post) LOL!)

LadyTee got back on the phone and WENT OFF a bit longer. I tell you, she and I are exact opposites. I am quiet when I'm angry. LadyTee is a firecracker when she gets mad. She might just pick up the nearest thing and knock you down.

Pat even got on the phone at one time, and I explained everything to him. I don't think he really cared. He just wanted to say hello to me.

"Alright Lee," LadyTee said after she snatched the phone from him. "I knew you would know. If you say it, they believe it."
"I know, I know," I said.
"Whatcha doint tomorrow, gal?"
"Just chilling," I said.
"I'll call you tomorrow, babes!" she said.

"Holler," were my final words.

I clicked the phone off and threw it on the bed.

And was up for another 2 hours before I went back to sleep. (Once I wake up, it is HARD for me to go back to sleep.)

I'm just glad poor Nell and Pat didn't catch LadyTee's foot in their throats.

This happens more often than not. I believe Nell messes with his Mom's head, just to get her all riled up. It is quite funny to see her mad, to the point of snapping. I've been sitting there when they've been arguing about something.

It always ends with "Call Lee!" (Then they realize I am sitting there watching the drama unfold).

Somehow, I'm the final authority on EVERYTHING. LadyTee always says "If Lee don't know the answer, there is no answer. My friend knows EVERYTHING!"

Good to know that I have someone in my life who has THAT much confidence in me.

Even if she's being a menace, and calling me long after I've fallen asleep.

(Just kidding, Tee. You can be a menance and call me anytime, day or night, BFF!)