Monday, June 30, 2008

I Need a Vacation, Man!!

My favorite writer, that Platinum Plus Card Carryin' Original Oldgirl Miss Celie aka Racer X aka Queen of Lurk City aka Ta.yari Jones , the best writing mentor in the Solar system, is off again on one of her many writing retreats.

They tend to call them "Artist Colonies".


You look happy and content Miss Celie!!

I know she looks at me with the *gas face* for calling her my mentor.

Let me tell you something. . . Everytime I talk to her, afterwards I go and write VERY ferociously. I mean GOOD useful stuff. She answers my questions, no matter how incredibly stupid they are.

That's a mentor right there.

I owe that chick a tank of premium gas for her car.

Really though.

But she is Racer X - She sets me, the Speedracer, back on course and goes back to doing her own thing.

Enough jocking of the Queen. (She's quite use to that by now).

I wish there was more I could do for her because she sows much writing wisdom into my life.

So like I said, she's on this "Artist Colony" trip, for a month, I believe. She tells me about them. I listen with glee. She hipped me to the fact that I, LadyLee, can apply for them. I just need writing samples, etc. (Lawd knows, I got plenty of those). All the things she said. . . goodness, I was dizzy for a couple of days, just thinking about it all.

So she applies to these programs, and gets into them.

Here's the issha: the sista went to this particular retreat, in the middle of nowhere, for a month without hair care products.

*crickets*

I think she thought, like we all do, that there would be a Wal-mart, Target, or local Asian Beauty supply nearby.

"I can just run out and get some pink oil!" I imagine she says aloud as she unpacks her bags.

Humph.

No such luck.

So she wrote a post, sending out an SOS for some help.

Man, I hooted and hollered over that. I could see her asking the the people of non-color all around her:

"Does anyone have some Blue Magic? Or even a little Afro sheen?"

LOL!!!

But on the real. . . she said something in a post that made me laugh. She said she swiped some Olive oil from the kitchen to do her braids!!

And it made me think one thing: You can take the girl out of SWATS [Southwest Atlanta], but you can't take SWATS out the girl!!

You will forever be ATLien, girl. You know about the bootleg, for sho!

Next time, Miss Celie, may I suggest that you swipe the Crisco. . .

Or swipe the bootleg Crisco can from the top of the stove, as it contains bacon grease drippings.

(Yeah, that's how they do it in the south).

I think lard will do the trick, too!

Anyway, Celie, your braids look great. The olive oil was the bomb! I might splash some in my hand and rub it through my hair (Humph. I only have bottles of rosemary and red hot chili infused oil in the cabinet. Never mind. Not a good look).


She said she was taking her hair down, and needed some product.

I read this, and laughed REAL HARD.

Then I went to Tar-jay, and got her a PHAT box of stuff.

And what's funny, since she has an off the meter readership over at her blog, she probably got deluged with stuff. I bet the mailman up there is looking at her real funny right about now.

You can open up your own beauty supply store up there, man! LOL!!

But this post ain't even about all that. I was looking at the BACKGROUND of that picture again.



I was memerized by that water, the scenery, the sheer beauty of it all

Look at that water.



Move your doggone feet, Celie!! DANG! Move them dogs out the way!

Look at that WATER.



I've been staring at those pictures, and I was thinking: I need a vacation. For real.

I am 38 years old, and I've never been on a real vacation as an adult. Oh yeah, I've been plenty of places on the company's dime. All over the place.

But to plan something on my own? NO. And that's a shame.

One of the Original Oldgirls Ms. JustWriteNow, that fly poetess Sharon, called on Sunday, and we had a long convo about the family cruise she and her HUGE clan are taking around Thanksgiving. I keep getting these emails about it, and it was good to hear her talk about it. I could feel the excitement through the phone. She was trying to talk me into going. As usual, I have excuses...

"N'awl girl, I'm trying to pay off some stuff."

My cup runneth over with excuses.

That, and I am constantly working. I had a doctor's appointment today, and I was chit-chatting with my doctor. I told her I have a 4 day weekend for the fourth of July. Her eyes got big, and she almost dropped my chart. She's so accustomed to snapping on me for working too much.

Then she proceeded to tell me alllll about the 2 week vacation she's taking to her home of India over the fourth of July weekend. Shoot, I think she goes to India twice a year. . . for two weeks each time.

Sigh.

I need a vacation.

Funny thing, I've been invited all over the place this year. I glance from side to side, wondering. .

"Are you talking to me?"

I've made it a goal to take these negroes up on some of these offers.

But hear me now, believe me later. This Oldgirl is taking a vacation.

Ya'll gonna be like. . . Dang Oldgirl, you blogging from the Moon?

LOL!!

That's my goal. Take a REAL vacation within the next twelve months.

Thanks Miss Celie for posting those pics... You know how to make an Oldgirl. . .think.

Reminds me of the relaxation I am longing for, and how I must step out and do something about it.

And when I do go on vacation? I've learned from that Oldgirl Miss Celie that I must take plenty of:

Ultra sheen.

Afro sheen cosmetics.

17 comments:

  1. Okay. So where we going? As long as it got water. And don't say Detroit either. I see that river all the time. And it wouldn't be no vacation for me here.

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  2. @2nd 68. . .

    Where WE going? WE ain't going nowhere. You and the harem can stay home and fend for your ownselves! There's plenty of bread and water in the kitchen! LOL!

    Funny you mention Detroit. I went there a good 10 years ago for a conference. Crossed over into Canada to do a little gambling. The money changing people tried to accuse me of trying to trade FAKE Canadian money (which they had given me that night) for American money!!

    MAN!! Was I not glad back to get to the good ol' USA.

    No... no Detroit for me! To close to Canada!!

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  3. Ladylee, you are too much. I recommend that you apply to Hambige, right there in Georgia. (I think I spelled that wrong.) Anyway, you should apply. I will gladly write you a letter of reference.

    As for putting lard in my head... I am having enough trouble with insects as it is!!

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  4. Anonymous11:09:00 AM

    Don't we all need a vacation. I've never been on a "real" vacation. You know like looking over the water and just relaxing. Everytime I go on vacation, I'm doing alot of ripping and running sight seeing.

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  5. @Tayari...

    *Oh Lawd, the Queen of Lurk City leaves a comment...

    * Lee bows so hard that her lips kiss the ground*

    *Lee lays out prostrate on the ground in pure worship mode*

    LOL

    Yes, I want to apply. That is on my "To do" list. 'Tis in my dream journal, and I write about it often. Once I get my other recommends together, hey, I will take a chance and apply! I think my writing instructor will hook me up!

    Girl, go head on and put that lard in your hair. You got hands, i.e., you can swat the flies away! LOL!!

    Glad you got the package!! Hope you enjoy all the goodies.

    @That Southern Black Gal...

    Sharon tripped my head out, saying that I could get a balcony room on a cruise, and I don't have to come out at all. GOODNESS. That gal talked to me so hard about all this that I almost got the notion to go AWOL from the job and jump on somebody's ship!! LOL.

    I don't want to do allll that ripping and running. I want to just... chill. You know what I mean??

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  6. Ah yes...VACATION....
    Gurl you better gone and getchu some!! [LOL]

    I plays NO GAMES when it comes to takin' mines...

    I'm taking my teenager to Miami in October, going with my sweetie to Jamaica in November and I'm spending at least ten days in Trinidad and Tobago in February of 09!

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  7. @Ms. Behaving

    *Lee kicks Ms. Behaving in the teeth HARD*

    HUMPH.

    I shrug off my jealousy and come back to reality.

    Good for YOU!!! I need to get like THAT!!!

    There's a dude here on my job that goes to Hawaii. . . every year.

    Goodness. I need to catch the concept, don't I???

    GOOD FOR YOU, GIRL!!!

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  8. ::Recovers from kick in my grill and proceeds to LMAO::

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  9. Where is the love? You tell me to share myself with the world and then kick me to the curb when I try to share with you...
    No love... LOL!!!

    And what it is with you and feet and folks teeth today? And don't be abusing my Ms. B. like that. She still sufferin' from them tight braids!

    Yes dear. Get your workaholic, forced to take a day and a half off butt gone somewhere. Since you ain't taking me, you will at least bring back several long and detailed stories that leave me feeling all rested like I was there with you!

    And I love you in advance for it!

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  10. Oh. And you ain't gotta cross the border anymore to get ya gamble on! We got THREE now! Two with their own completed hotels!

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  11. @ Ms. Behaving...

    Yes, you will be Laughing your a$$ off with the busted grill WHILE waving at me from some beach paradise. SIGH!!!!

    I ain't mad at cha!!

    @ 2nd 68...

    Never beat folks down with your hands... use your feet. I need my hands. Don't need them all cramped from busting folks upside the head.

    Yes, I can see Ms. Behaving with the tight braids and busted grill, waving at me from Trinidad. She'll be looking crazy, but she will also be looking. . . relaxed.

    And when they get casinos in Detroit? Ain't that special!?

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  12. hey ladylee, why you call yourself ole school, you aint ole school, hell 38 is young mami.

    lord calling yourself old and you aint even old, whats wrong with you

    now 68 he ole,lol okay let me stop messing with him for he disown me.
    he knows he is my main man

    okay like i really admire your friend for being up there that damn high. i would have a heart attack and be hyperventilating. i have this crazy fear of heights.

    anywho mami, i need a vaca too, dont know if i would be where she is, but i would take me a road trip and not tell anyone where i am going.

    oh and the scenery is beautiful, wowwwwwwww

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  13. Now you done DONE IT!!! You thought you were getting emails about the cruise before...watch out MAIN cause now the shit done hit the fan!

    I'ma be e-stalking you from now until you book passage for you AND Grandma on this trip...come on Lee, my Grandma needs a friend on the ship. Camp Carnival doesn't have activities for her age group ;)

    YOU NEEDS TO GET YOUR AZZ ON THE BOAT!!! Now gone and get to processing that passport so that when you change your mind and decide to go at the last minute, you won't have nothing standing in your way!

    Also, back up off Tayari's hair products...Olive Oil is the bomb for black folks hair! Don't believe me, check out my blog post over the next day or so to see what Olive Oil, bananas, avocado, and honey have done for this sistah's hair just since January :)

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  14. @Dreamy. . .

    I AM Oldschool, hon. I can't run them mean streets like I use to. An Oldgirl gotta get that rest, ya know.

    "...but i would take me a road trip and not tell anyone where i am going."

    See... that right there is what I'm talking about. That's what's hot right there, Ma!!

    @That Original Oldgirl Sharon...

    Look here man! You know, I, uh, am trying to pay stuff off. You heard me??

    "...Olive Oil, bananas, avocado, and honey"

    *crickets*

    Girl, what are you trying to do- do your hair or make us a dessert?

    LOL!!!!!!

    Yeah, we'll be rolling your way to check that out.

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  15. Start making the plans and set a date already!

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  16. Everyone deserves having their vacations, especially when you're feeling stressed out and you want to unwind with your friends and family. In our case, every year, me and my friends organize a road trip around Canada with my car that I bought at the Burlington, Ontario used cars dealers for 5 to 14 days (which we prepared by filing for a vacation leave at our respective offices).

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  17. If I'm able to encounter a view as gratifying as that along the way, then I wouldn't mind jumping on my 1969 Judge for a little weekend road trip. It would be all worth it.

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Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!