I Need a Vacation, Man!!

My favorite writer, that Platinum Plus Card Carryin' Original Oldgirl Miss Celie aka Racer X aka Queen of Lurk City aka Ta.yari Jones , the best writing mentor in the Solar system, is off again on one of her many writing retreats.

They tend to call them "Artist Colonies".

You look happy and content Miss Celie!!

I know she looks at me with the *gas face* for calling her my mentor.

Let me tell you something. . . Everytime I talk to her, afterwards I go and write VERY ferociously. I mean GOOD useful stuff. She answers my questions, no matter how incredibly stupid they are.

That's a mentor right there.

I owe that chick a tank of premium gas for her car.

Really though.

But she is Racer X - She sets me, the Speedracer, back on course and goes back to doing her own thing.

Enough jocking of the Queen. (She's quite use to that by now).

I wish there was more I could do for her because she sows much writing wisdom into my life.

So like I said, she's on this "Artist Colony" trip, for a month, I believe. She tells me about them. I listen with glee. She hipped me to the fact that I, LadyLee, can apply for them. I just need writing samples, etc. (Lawd knows, I got plenty of those). All the things she said. . . goodness, I was dizzy for a couple of days, just thinking about it all.

So she applies to these programs, and gets into them.

Here's the issha: the sista went to this particular retreat, in the middle of nowhere, for a month without hair care products.

*crickets*

I think she thought, like we all do, that there would be a Wal-mart, Target, or local Asian Beauty supply nearby.

"I can just run out and get some pink oil!" I imagine she says aloud as she unpacks her bags.

Humph.

No such luck.

So she wrote a post, sending out an SOS for some help.

Man, I hooted and hollered over that. I could see her asking the the people of non-color all around her:

"Does anyone have some Blue Magic? Or even a little Afro sheen?"

LOL!!!

But on the real. . . she said something in a post that made me laugh. She said she swiped some Olive oil from the kitchen to do her braids!!

And it made me think one thing: You can take the girl out of SWATS [Southwest Atlanta], but you can't take SWATS out the girl!!

You will forever be ATLien, girl. You know about the bootleg, for sho!

Next time, Miss Celie, may I suggest that you swipe the Crisco. . .

Or swipe the bootleg Crisco can from the top of the stove, as it contains bacon grease drippings.

(Yeah, that's how they do it in the south).

I think lard will do the trick, too!

Anyway, Celie, your braids look great. The olive oil was the bomb! I might splash some in my hand and rub it through my hair (Humph. I only have bottles of rosemary and red hot chili infused oil in the cabinet. Never mind. Not a good look).

She said she was taking her hair down, and needed some product.

I read this, and laughed REAL HARD.

Then I went to Tar-jay, and got her a PHAT box of stuff.

And what's funny, since she has an off the meter readership over at her blog, she probably got deluged with stuff. I bet the mailman up there is looking at her real funny right about now.

You can open up your own beauty supply store up there, man! LOL!!

But this post ain't even about all that. I was looking at the BACKGROUND of that picture again.



I was memerized by that water, the scenery, the sheer beauty of it all

Look at that water.



Move your doggone feet, Celie!! DANG! Move them dogs out the way!

Look at that WATER.



I've been staring at those pictures, and I was thinking: I need a vacation. For real.

I am 38 years old, and I've never been on a real vacation as an adult. Oh yeah, I've been plenty of places on the company's dime. All over the place.

But to plan something on my own? NO. And that's a shame.

One of the Original Oldgirls Ms. JustWriteNow, that fly poetess Sharon, called on Sunday, and we had a long convo about the family cruise she and her HUGE clan are taking around Thanksgiving. I keep getting these emails about it, and it was good to hear her talk about it. I could feel the excitement through the phone. She was trying to talk me into going. As usual, I have excuses...

"N'awl girl, I'm trying to pay off some stuff."

My cup runneth over with excuses.

That, and I am constantly working. I had a doctor's appointment today, and I was chit-chatting with my doctor. I told her I have a 4 day weekend for the fourth of July. Her eyes got big, and she almost dropped my chart. She's so accustomed to snapping on me for working too much.

Then she proceeded to tell me alllll about the 2 week vacation she's taking to her home of India over the fourth of July weekend. Shoot, I think she goes to India twice a year. . . for two weeks each time.

Sigh.

I need a vacation.

Funny thing, I've been invited all over the place this year. I glance from side to side, wondering. .

"Are you talking to me?"

I've made it a goal to take these negroes up on some of these offers.

But hear me now, believe me later. This Oldgirl is taking a vacation.

Ya'll gonna be like. . . Dang Oldgirl, you blogging from the Moon?

LOL!!

That's my goal. Take a REAL vacation within the next twelve months.

Thanks Miss Celie for posting those pics... You know how to make an Oldgirl. . .think.

Reminds me of the relaxation I am longing for, and how I must step out and do something about it.

And when I do go on vacation? I've learned from that Oldgirl Miss Celie that I must take plenty of:

Ultra sheen.

Afro sheen cosmetics.