My writing class has started back up. I was a bit antsy about it. I've been in the 10 week advanced workshop class, and let's just say, I have a large volume of work that I need to sit down, rewrite and edit. And honestly, it is too much for me to think about.
So, I went back to the 6 week beginners class. My teacher talks alot in that class, and I like the slower pace of it all. There are A LOT of writing prompts (which build on each other) which I absolutely LOVE. I don't have to turn in large volumes of material. I can generate large amounts easily, but my teacher is VERY thorough, and I can't wrap my mind around it all (Uh, I have way too many interests). I like the 6 week class because it is much shorter, and I can concentrate on quality a little better.
My teacher purses her lips and says "You know, it's okay to work on your regular things."
"But I want to work on the prompts. I generate new material."
She stares. I can tell she shudders inside.
She knows, and I know that I have TOO much material laying around.
Let's see, I have 10 short stories and three manuscripts laying around. There are some 25 characters living their lives, pondering things, caught up in some bullsh**, etc. I get bored with one story, I pick up another and move it forward just a smidgen. At that rate, I will NEVER finish anything. So she is working with me on one thing... FOCUS.
I suppose this is a "high class" problem. Let's just say, whatever prompt she gives, I have a story I can work on in conjunction with. For the next 6 weeks, I am working on a story I LOVE, entitled "Jawbreaker". I plan on submitting this before the year is up. Along with another I am finishing up.
Yay for me!
Anyway, she spoke about character last night, how a good character has a bit of shadiness to him. And how a dark character has a tad bit of goodness in him. In fact, every character has 3 sides: the good side, the dark side, and the unexpected side.
I have about 25 characters floating around in my head, speaking whenever they feel to speak. And I find that they are too polar, i.e., the good are TOO goody-good. The bad are bad to the bone. I have issues bringing in subtle flaws, however faint they may be.
And that is what I am searching for... something extremely subtle. Hidden, really. As in when you read, you have to pay attention to pick up on it. It is a hard thing for me to master.
She discussed this for a good fifteen minutes. I, as usual, take notes at a furious pace. I also had a list of characters written on a scratch piece of paper. I list some of their qualities, ideas for them, etc.
I raised my hand and asked a question.
"Does every character have to have a dark side?"
She thought on it for a moment.
"Well, LadyLee," she said. "The reson that I don't believe no one is ALL good or ALL bad is because I myself am not ALL good or ALL bad."
*Lee frowns hard*
Then she said something that left me with the *blank stare*
"Your true friends are true friends because you have unveiled your Dark Side to them, don't you think?"
I thought about it. Scribbled it down. Thought about my friends who have seen my Dark Side and love me no less for it.
"I suppose that is true."
"Does that help you?"
Yes it does.
I've worried much in the past about my "Dark side". Worry isn't the best word to use... I suppose I've been more concerned than usual.
August 2008 was the darkest month of my year. The darkest month of the last 3 years really. It was stuffed tight with alot of anger, confusion, total and utter disappointment in myself. There were a lot of monkey wrenches thrown into my smooth turning wheel, causing me to go off on a hard tangent, causing...
More anger.
More confusion.
More utter disappointment in myself.
I remembering firing off an email to a chick who has grown to become a great friend over the past few years. She sees me often enough, and knows a fair amount of my business, lol.
"Do me a favor. Tell me what you think of me, right here, right now. What I'm most interested in is what you consider my flaws to be."
She said she had a business meeting. And since it would take her some time to write, she would send it later that day.
**Ouch**
That scared me. But I knew she would be honest with me.
Well she sent me a thesis back... on ME.
The Dark side of LadyLee was no joke. Uh, she got it right. I must admit, she left a few things out, though. However, key things that I write in my personal journals about were there, shades of which weave themselves into my blog, were present and accounted for...
But after last nights class... I had an epiphany of sorts.
EVERYBODY has a good side. EVERYBODY has a Dark Side.
This goes for me too. My issue is that I was assuming that there was something wrong with me.
No there is not. I just have my "issues".
Just like the next person.
And for that, I will not apologize.
Man oh man, I've been doing so much of that lately. NO MORE.
However, it is important for me to be cognizant of the Dark Side.
I will work on being a better LadyLee...
And not be so hard on LadyLee.
I think I scratched those revelations down in my spiral notebook, right besides my notes on characters.
"Does anything I've said help you, LadyLee?" my teacher asked. She leaned in closer, awaiting my answer.
"Of course," I said, blinking back tears.
Never knew I would learn such personal truths in a writing class.
Go figure.
.png)
It's all about balance in the universe, especially between good and bad. Most people possess both. You shouldn't fault yourself for it. It is human. And it makes everyone easier to relate to. Hence, why your characters need to have that balance too. People attach much more strongly to people they can see at least part of themselves in, even if they would never (admit) to even dreaming about doing half the things the character does. I remember once I was taking a creative writing class and the entire first 2 weeks of class, we had to watch people. We weren't allowed to write anything other than our observations of people and their interactions. It was very interesting. We all started out with surface thing; girl and boy are on a date. By the 2nd week, we started to look with a more critical eye; girl and boy are on a date but both hold themselves in such a way that implies this may be a first date. Boy touches girl's face and girl smiles but when boy looks away, her eyes are distant. Is she thinking of someone else?
ReplyDeleteThat exercise might help you too. Try it. It's amazing what watching people will tell you about their lives if you go into it unbiased and just pay attention. The good and bad is in all of us. The key with writing it, just like with being friends, is not to judge it, and accept it as part of the human experience.
And now I am done blogging in your comments.
Okay, I'll give you my two cents - for what it's worth.
ReplyDeleteFor every character you write, if you think about it, there's a little YOU in each of them. Sometimes it what you think you would like to be. Sometimes, it what you want to make sure you are not.
Characters that don't have quirks or shortcomings are boring. There was only one Prince Charming and if you think about it, as the story goes, he didn't handle his woman well. So dimensional characters are important. Good or bad, the reader has to want to invest in them. This you already know.
And I agree with your instructor, everyone has a dark and a good side, and for that reason, so should the people you write about. Everyone has internal conflict, and that is what makes people, real or imagined, worth spending time with.
As to owning up to your own dark side Lee, know this, what ever makes you bad, doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you human. And if it makes you human, it can make other things human as well.
So, if it is true that a part of us is in every character we create as writers, knowing your dark side can be a real benefit.
On a personal note, I think I'm safe in saying that I understand the ups and downs just as well as the next guy. I've been as low as a human being can get. I have done the unimaginable by most people's standards. But I have also taught a child to read, helped a friend, made a difference in someone's life, and loved. And so have you Lee. Your experience is your story, even if you give it out in little bits at a time, in every character you write.
Don't be afraid of the people you create, and more importantly, don't be afraid of yourself.
But then again, what the fuck do I know.
Just keep writing.
@The Infamous LA...
ReplyDeleteGoodness gracious, La... you must've been in sitting in the corner in the first class. That was part of our assignment, to watch people. Interesting.
"...not to judge it, and accept it as part of the human experience."
That is what's key right there. That part right there. If I could apply that to myself, then it's all good.
Feel free to blog in my comment section... as you do know how much I salivate over your story stylings:)
@Terry over in his Cheap seat...
What the f*ck do you know?
My Daddy Terry knows EVERYthing... lol.
And you must've been sitting on flimsy cheap stool in the back of the second class section...
Good advice there, man!! Very good.
i agree with both comments. as a writer i'm always finding bits and pieces of myself within my characters; mail or female. i'm very much in tuned with my yin and yang, which helps me formulate the characters and their depths of being.
ReplyDeletei've found my biggest challenge isn't the dark or good side, it's knowing how much of each to put into the character. i've also found that i created characters that are inexplicably horrible and it's not until the reader would hate them that i flip it.
writing is catharsic (spelling?) and a good way to channel your inner emotions.
love!
I know for sure i have a DARK side. And it's a great thing that not many people have witnessed it.
ReplyDelete@Blu... You know, I spent a bit of time looking back at some old characters in some completed work, and I do see a bit of myself in them. Much less so with current characters.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that I need to not only embrace my yin, but stop shunning my yang... hmm...
and as you say at the end of your posts and comments...
love!
lol
@Patrice... We do hide our ish, don't we? And you better keep that job, gal!
Yeah. But you learned it...
ReplyDeleteW
ReplyDeleteO
W
i measn appreciation is the same even sometimes when we think it may be too late
Girl, celebrate who you are NOW! Give yourself room to grow and get up when you fall.
ReplyDeleteAbove all pray and be motivated to being better.
We can't ask any more of others, or ourselves for that matter!