Tuesday Ponderings-"You Suckas!!!"

What's up you SUCKAS!!!

Yeah, I called ya'll some suckas.

Why?

Because ya'll at work today, and I am NOT!!!

You suckas!!!!

In other words, I am still enjoying my vacation.

Yes, I am OFF! This is RARE! It feels GOOD!

I'll return to suckerhood next week! Right now, I'll let you all be some suckas. LOL!!

And anyone trying to reach me, leave my gub'ment email alone. Hit up my oldgirl email address. I check that regularly...

My holiday weekend. Well, the highlight of my holiday weekend was my making a pilgrimadge up to Charlotte NC for that Original Oldgirl's Serenity's Housewarming extravaganza...

You know you a bad sista when negroes are driving in and flying in from other states to attend your party. Goodness.

Well, I showed up with a car full of stuff: her blanket, a vacuum cleaner, a gang of wine, crawfish, shrimps and about 6 dozen cookies. I had a bunch of stuff I needed to give to the LBeezy and her baby boy, stuff that's been collecting on my dining room table for the past 3 months, lol.

Let's just say, there was a huge wrapping party at my house on Friday night, i.e., I laid up on the couch with a cold bottle of beer while I watched my sister Kentucky wrap EVERYTHING in bootleg dollar store Christmas paper. American Gangster played loudly on the DVD player.

"Kentucky, you know you like wrapping gifts. I HATE wrapping gifts. I know you love it!"
"No, I don't Lisa."
I frowned. "Oh you don't?"
"No."
"Oh well, that's too bad!" I point at the tall box with my bottle of beer. "Place a little tape on the back right there. The paper is sticking out."

LOL!!

Kentucky had her chance to say no to wrapping gifts. I'd been yelling all week at her about wrapping gifts because I don't like to. She'll stand up to me someday and yell "Hell no, Lisa!!"

I loaded up the car (not my car. My ish broke down last time I was up there. I drove Kentucky's luxurious ride, lol). I yelled at her for having NO air in her tires, so I had to find some air somewhere. GEEZ!!

My ride was nice. But Kentucky has so many controls in her ride. I was freezing cold the whole drive there. UGH!!

Then she had this CD of break-up songs in her car. That made me want to pull over and slit my throat.

And make a mental note to have a convo with her later. Hmm.

But there was one song on there that I love, that I haven't heard in a long time... And it is my Song of the month.

"Bitter" by Chante Moore

Youtube has disabled embedding for this song so go over there and have a look, if you like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmh8kb0plz8

'Tis a bitter song. It should've been titled "Nigga", but I suppose that is not a good thing. But that word is a formidable part of the chorus, most important part, really. She even mouths it in the video. Heck, I even found the unedited version, which happens to be over on my playlist. (Got a phone call about that yesterday: "Lee, where did you find that?" LOL).

I've been combing through old journals and similar material lately, looking for "myself" for lack of a better term to use, and I came across an account of an old argument I'd had with my ex-husband. I was SO enraged that morning and words left my mouth that I didn't even know had been trapped DEEP in my heart.

"I f*ckin' HATE you. I f*ckin' HATE your guts!!"

I think during that argument I used the "n" word a gazillion different ways, as a noun, prononun, conjuction, punctuation- every which way possible.

I remember the look of shock on his face. Shoot, I'd shocked my ownself! He didn't know what to do. I am terribly passive agressive by nature, which means I rarely fight or argue. RARELY. (People who know me, ya'll know how quiet I am). I just don't talk to you. I disappear, almost like I've fallen off the face of the earth. I'm still like that, but I am around people who force me to talk without punishing me for it later, so I am getting better (I suppose).

My man was buffed and carried a lot of guns and knives. He could've hurt me bad that day. I think he told me to go to hell after he got over the shock of what I'd said.

We spoke about it a couple of days later, ironically, after his Mama's funeral. We both apologized for our behavior. I remember standing in the yard, thinking of how pretty his brown eyes were in the afternoon sun...

...And how the relationship, and the marriage were indeed over.

Hard sigh. Big tear.

I think every sista has gone "there" before, where you are saying stuff that you didn't even know was in your heart, whether your goal was to hurt your man's feelings, or whether you REALLY hated dude. I am terribly violent, so I've thrown a punch or two in the process. We've all gone "there" in some way or another.

I like Chante's song, because she goes "there" in a very nice and loving manner. I don't remember a song being sung so lovingly about bitterness. Hmm.

Try that with your man, ladies! You'd get laughed out the frickin' door if you do!

Me and ATLien Nikki were wondering what Kadeem Hardison did to ol' Chante. She got a couple of crazy songs out there. Funny how everyone thinks of her "ex" when she sings. I know that trips him out!

Okay, enough of my meanderings...

Let's end this on a smurfy note. Since Chante Moore is one of my favorite singers, here's a couple more of my favorite songs by her.

"Love's Taken Over"



"Love's Taken Over" Quiet Storm REMIX!



"Chante's Got a Man"



You all have a great day... AT WORK!!

LOL LOL!!!

Holla at cha!!