Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Holding Court

So.. I was at my local hood eatery a couple of weeks ago (which I won't name), and I saw this gentleman sitting at a table.

I snapped a photo on the sly... because I didn't want to get shot right there in the store.

I showed the picture to coworkers CowgirlCre and Lady Lifetime, and asked them what they thought it was.

"Looks like somebody in a lab coat," they said.

We are lab workers. White outfit means lab coat.

"No," I said. "He has on a white t-shirt and white shorts. And he's selling bootleg DVDs."

Now you see why I took the picture on the sly.

And he's doing it all out in the open. He's sitting at the front of the store holding court, i.e., he has his wares spread out, a portable DVD player available for the customer to check out the merchandise, and he has it where the customer can sit and peruse it all.

Holding Court!

I looked over at the asian folks who owned the place. They didn't seem to care.

I don't know if I blame them. All I know is that they got the good real onion rings, and they were hooking mine up.


But it's despicable, dude sitting there at the front of the store selling DVDs.

I know the emission place right next door, which consists of a big white oval tent and a bay to drive your car up in... well, they sell bootleg DVDs too. They MAKE you take a seat while you wait on your car and they throw a big DVD holder in your lap...

... and allow you to peruse while your emissions is being done.

ONLY in the hood, ya'll. Goodness.

I remember sitting there quietly, waiting for them to finish... and pretending I was interested in the bootleg DVDs in the holder on my lap. There had to be at least 100 of them. And I looked through them all.

At the same time, frightened that the police would run up in there and raid the place.

*ladylee prepared to throw the DVD holder to the floor*


I didn't buy bootleg DVDs that cold February day. I looked at the passed emissions form for Pam the Protege and asked the dude if it was legit.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

I'm just saying, the whole emissions set up looked suspect to me. I took my form to the DMV... and got my tag. So I will be using these fellas, who charge $17.95 from now on.

But back to the entrepeneur in the restaurant.

He was selling DVDs. People would sit down and peruse and buy. AND dude was on the phone fielding orders.

"I can be on the corner with that DVD in about 10 minutes."



I was there for a good 5 minutes.

Watching all of this go down.

And I had the urge to lean over and holler

"Hey bruh, do you have that Snow White and that Huntsman movie? It ain't out yet, but if you got it, I'll buy it!"


No way! I didn't do that. You know how scary I am.

Besides, the movie is out right now, and I might as well go see it.

Don't care for the low quality bootleg!


Ah yes... only in the hood can one hold court.... and get away with it.


  1. Lawd I just can't....lol....and that's all I have to say about that.

    Snow White was good...saw it this past weekend.
    Charlize Theron was excellent and the cinematography was great. I think you'll enjoy it.

  2. He looks serious about his bizness lol

  3. I'm laughing hard, because I guess the hood is the same in any city & any language.

    Here in Dallas almost same thing, but the guy gave me his card & the area I was in is predominately Mexican. So I was laughing because I was thinking about Old National.

  4. They hold court hard here in NOLA...lol

  5. LOL!!!
    AND LOL @ You not saying the name but linking it lol


Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!