Jeremy's Funeral

Today, December 4, 2005, we buried my beloved tomcat, Jeremy Girard Dorsey, a.k.a. "Lil Head", in the backyard of my house.

Snake, the local crackhead... I mean, um... the local substance user, came over on Saturday and dug a grave for Jeremy.

We planned for a Saturday funeral, but my sister Kay had to work. Then Kay decided that she would rather spend the weekend with her boyfriend in Macon, GA. I was talking on the phone to my best friend Lady Tee when Kay told me this...

"Well Kay, since Jeremy is in the garage in the deep freezer, we can just have the funeral next weekend," I suggested.

"Hell na'll," Lady Tee barked. "You tell Kay to pass by that damn freezer, say a few last words to Jeremy, and then get the heck on. We burying my nephew this weekend."

Hmmm... Kay was cool with that...

The next thing I know, Kay had packed a booty bag and got the hell on...

Doggonit Kay... you skipped Jeremy's funeral for some weekend "twerk" action...

Humph...

I ain't mad at you...

So there were just three of us at the funeral. We got together after Church and had a 2:30 p.m. funeral.

Pokie, Lady Tee's cousin, was to be the pallbearer, but I chose to go ahead and place Jeremy's casket/cardboard box in the grave myself...

Pokie grabbed the shovel and covered up the box, and I placed a makeshift tombstone on top...



"Ya'll got any departing words?" I asked.

Pokie said, "Yeah... So long, cat. Good-bye."

"I got somethin' to say," Lady Tee declared. "Jeremy, I remember how you use to park yourself in one of them dining room table chairs and hiss and growl at me when I would sit down in a chair next to you. Nigga, I wasn't trying to bother you. I was just trying sit down and eat my birthday dinner, and-"

"Alright, Lady Tee, calm down" I said, trying to console her, because I could see she was about to go off on my deceased cat.

I was the final one to say something.

"Jeremy, I'm gonna miss you, little boy. You were a good cat."

We had a moment of silence. Then we took a few pictures.

"Let's get our eat on," Lady Tee said.

I'd wanted to cook out, but it was raining off and on. So I picked up a 10 piece family box from Churches chicken on the way home from Church...



We sat around and ate chicken, mash potatoes, cole slaw, and biscuits. We also finished off Kay's sweet tea. (Sorry Kay, you'll just have to make some more...)

Then we looked at the Falcons game on television...

...and The Superfriends on my Laptop.

Snake, the local substance user, showed up late for the funeral. I told him that the funeral was over, but he could have a plate of food if he wanted. He declined, gave his condolences, then decided to sit on my front porch and shell some pecans... (He is deeply in love with Lady Tee... I think that's the REAL reason he was lurking around!. She went outside and talked to him for a minute. Dang, I never seen Snake smile so hard!)

But that is how Jeremy's funeral went.

I'm gonna miss you little boy...

You were a good cat.

Yes indeed!