Monday, December 05, 2005

Water Weight Angst...

Snake, the neighborhood substance user, and I were standing on the my neighbor/co-worker the Infamous Hen-Dog's front porch. We were all dicussing some of the neighborhood politics and what-not.

I took a picture of the Infamous Hen-Dog...



The next day, some of us ladies were at work scrolling through the weekend pictures in my digital camera when we came across Hen-Dog's picture.

"Ladylee," he said, "you shouldn't have taken that picture. I have too much water weight."

We all looked at him like "WTF???"

We all got quiet, trying to absorb what he'd just said.

Cowgirl Cre frowned and spoke. "Hen, you don't need to be going around saying that. That's a girl thing."

I was thinking this myself. I associate bloat and water weight with PMS.

Hen-Dog said "If I can't tell my girls, who can I tell?"

Yeah Hen, you better tell your homegirls. I don't think you should run around screaming that to your boys... you already work out at a gym in Midtown Atlanta... (those from ATL know the fame of Midtown).

"Let's show the picture to my baby's mama," he said.

His baby's mama, who happens to be my bootleg, work-for-free editor Ol' Mean Ass Cynthia, took a look at the picture...

"What would you say if you saw this picture and you didn't know me?" Hen-Dog asked.

She said, "Hmm... who is he? And what's with all that water weight?"

I snatched my camera from her hands. Hmm... Ol' Mean Ass Cynthia is as mean as usual.

Hen-Dog went on to give us some convoluted explanation of how he is more ripped after he works out, etc....

He even pulled out the current issue of Men's Health and showed us pictures of other men's bodies.

Okay. Whatever....

Anyway, Hen-Dog, your work out plan is going rather nicely. I still don't quite get the Water Weight issue, though...

And yeah, you do have a six pack...

It's just that someone stole four cans off of your six pack!

You keep working on it, Shorty!

Hen-Dog had a birthday this past Saturday.

Happy belated birthday, Hen-Dog!!

Hen-Dog and I like a lot of the same music, and we be sanging really, really loud and HARD in the car during our carpool to and from work. (Whoever rides in the cars next to us gets FULLY entertained, especially in the mornings!)

So Hen-Dog... I burned some of your favorite music... stuff we listen to (and commentate on) in the lab and in the car! A couple of these cuts are already on CD #5 of the CD changer in your car... It don't hurt to repeat a couple of the songs, right?

"We'll just call it your "Water Weight Days of Angst CD"

Hen Dog's Water Weight Days of Angst Birthday CD...

1. Sugar Free by Juicy (this is usually on repeat in the lab, if no one's hidden it!)

2. Now That We found Love by The O'Jays (we've changed the words to "Now that we've found love what is we gonna do... with it!)

3. Whatever You Want by Tony, Tony, Toni

4. Go Outside in the Rain by Milara (now this is the song we sing real HARD in the car)

5. A Love of Your Own by Average White Band

6. Everything I Miss at Home by Cherelle

7. Please Don't Go by Sylk (Hen likes this song because of all athe wailing and begging Sylk does... I find it a bit unnerving)

8. Cherish the day by Sade

9. You Can't Stop the Rain by Loose Ends

10. Whatever You Need by Anita Baker (another song that we sing real HARD in the car!)

11. It never Rains in Southern California by Tony, Toni, Tone

12. Don't look Any further by Dennis Edwards

13. Slow Down by Loose Ends

Now, Hen- I'm quite sure we will be listening to this CD on the way home...

And hopefully it'll help relieve some of that water weight you say you have!!!


8 comments:

  1. water weight? I wish you could see my raised eyebrow LOL

    What is we gonna do with it indeed!...dang I thought i was being so funny when I sang it like that!!!LMAO then i flip it to now that we found drugs and convulse into laughter!!!

    Hen-Dog...get ya weight up son! (ya water weight LOL)

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  2. DJ, you should've seen OUR raised eyebrows and confused looks!! Imagine someone bumping your turntable and the record scratches... WTF?? Hen Dog was sounding like a bitch!

    "Now that we found drugs what IS we gonna do...with it?"

    Now THAT'S funny... I gotta use that one!

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  3. If that's water weight, then what do I have?!

    Nice list of songs...I thought my brother and I were the only ones who change words around...Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal Song: Annie wanna hoe cake? Annie wanna hoe cake? wanna hoe cake Annie?!! (hmmm, sounds like a future post).

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  4. Yeah, I know right? Puts a new spin on the idea of water weight!

    "Annie wanna hoe cake"... "Smooth Criminal" will neverbe the same for me again (LOL)!

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  5. Water weight? He's trippin'.

    Thanks for sharing the picture.

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  6. LMAO @ Annie want a hoe cake..

    And nobody comes near the turntables (evil look) LOL

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  7. water weight? wtf???

    that must be code for "look at my muscles!"

    i can't believe there are guys out there pressed about water weight, but none of those cats give a damn about their beer weight.

    and that song list is on point. my fave is 'it never rains...' by triple t. man, but that song brings back some memories...mostly those having to do with an ex-boyfriend who was extremely talented with his tongue. *sigh*

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  8. @b-ball mom...

    I agree... He's tripping, but he did go out of his way to explain what he meant by it. He's hoping to do some bodybuilding competitions. He was whining today: "People are gonna think I'm gay!"

    @dj diva...

    yeah, I can see you putting the smack down on those who dare to bump the turntables! (LOL)

    @Nikki...

    Water weight on a man (I've heard it all, now.) But you're right. I've never heard a dude complain about beer weight...

    Yeah those songs bring back a few memories for me, too... But I'm not bold as you... I'll leave the sexual arena to you. My dear Auntie reads my blog. Don't want her to pull out her switch on me..

    But you do keep it real, don't cha? Your blog, ATL homie, makes me blush ;) !!!!!!!!!

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Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!