Monday, April 29, 2013

Monday Food-for-Thought: The Choices Edition

It is Monday afternoon.

And I woke up this morning to one of the locals ringing my doorbell.

Even that surly cat Oscar-tyrone was looking like "Who that ringing this doorbell this early in the morning!!!"

I was in the middle of getting dressed so I made him wait for a few miniutes. (Yeah, you wait. Sit your behind out on the porch, since you got some nerve leaning on my doorbell at 9 in the morning. Humph).

"You got some lighter fluid, LadyLee?"


"Uh... yeah," I said.

I remember I had 4 containers of it in the garage. Don't ask me why. They are super old. It's not like I even barbeque anymore. And I was wondering how to get rid of them.

I gave him the lighter fluid. And I hoped that he wasn't going to go burn down something. I don't want my fingerprints coming up on a container of lighter fluid.

But alas, he was going to grill some chicken. That early in the morning.

Alright, dude. Whatever you say.

All is well in my beloved ATL. It is dreary and rainy, and it looks like it's going to be that all week. I can't wait for some good 80 degree weather. It's about to be May, and I don't know if it's going to be hot or cold that particular day. Right now, it seems as if we will have highs of around 75 degreesor so, that is good.

Weekend. My weekend was uneventful, just like I like it. I did a good bit of housework. I needed to do some things in the yard, but that will have to wait until it gets nicer outside. I even got a little editing done. Always happy about that.

I talked to my sister for a couple of hours on Sunday morning.  It looks like this move to the Middle East to teach may become a reality. I am happy for her, of course, but at the same time, I am a bit sad. That is my sister and she has a been a good anchor for me over the past few years. We spend all of our holidays together, so I will have to find something else to do with myself. We talked about all that, and it was helpful to talk about my feelings, and to think in a positive way about it all.

We also talked about church. We go to a highly controversial church, and people either really love our pastor or really hate him. So whenever something goes on, she gets a barrage of phone calls and she has to deal with a bunch of tomfoolery.

Interestingly, I don't have to deal with all that. Well sometimes. But it is weird.

"LadyLee, I hate your pastor. Why you go to that church. I can't stand him."

*ladylee staying silent*

Later, it's followed up by...

"LadyLee, I was watching your pastor this morning. He wrote this book titled "XYZ".  I would like to read that. Do you have that?"

"Uh... nope. Am I suppose to have it? Didn't know about it."

Then they proceed to tell me all about it.

Funny... you were just dissing dude last week.

"I ain't got it, but I will pick it up in the bookstore the next time I go to church. You'll just have to remind me."

LOL!!! Ain't that, I don't know... just BIZARRE!!??? 

Bizarre, yet hilarious!

Don't give me money. I'll buy you a simple book. Since you keeping up like that. Heck, I don't keep up with him like that. LOL.

Anway, I don't deal with much of that. I have a mature and responsible group of freinds who got some sense in their heads. We are too valuable to each others' lives, and we just accept each other. And I am fully aware of who is in my immediate vicinity, and who I should pay attention to... and who I shouldn't. A constannt smack talker can kiss my ashy kneecaps. Straight up.

Really though.

It disturbs my sister. She's still at that funky age, age 29-32, where you still give a hoot about what negroes think of you. So I have to deal with her feelings in a certain way.

I always ask my sister the same question...

"Looking at yourself, over the years, have you increased in your personal peace and are you making personal progress, spiritual and otherwise?"

The answer is always yes.

And I've tried to teach her, and my brother, that we all make different choices. But you have to make sure you sit down and look at the choices that you have made, and determine if those choices have been beneficial to your life... or detrimental. You must think about if your choices affect others in a negative way. And only you can honestly determine that for yourself... And you do that within your ownself, away from all the voices of other people.

Then I always ask... . "Why you worried about what your little chickenhead friends think about your choices, spiritual or otherwise?"

And with her folks, I notice they have a LOT going on. I mean, some serious tomfoolery. Some of these sistas got nine lives like a cat. MAN! Yet my sister is the stable one, and she is the one that they talk to when they have problems.

But at the same time, they have problems with her choices.

And isn't that how people are anyway? I mean, people who have a LOT going on in their lives always have something to say about what someone else is doing. ALWAYS.

It goes back to the old quote: "We have a tendency to look at our lives through rose colored glasses, yet we are quick to look at the lives of others under a magnifying glass."

Anyway, that's my experience. Because if I get attacked, I really ask a lot of questions. And my biggest question is... despite my choices, are you and I okay?

Are you and I still on good terms.

The answer is usually yes. I guess some people just want to express themselves. Nothing wrong with that.

My criteria for people I'm around is if we can sit down and watch a Sweet Daddy episode of Good Times and split a sandwich.

If we can, I'm good.

'Cause see, this is what's up: I only spin 1% of my time at church. The other 99% is away from church.

Combine that with the fact that I am who I am when no one is looking. That's the true measure of my character. That's my true self indeed.

And add to that the fact that I don't care what you're doing, as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else.

There are 7 billion people on this earth, and we are all wornderfully complex and different in our upbinging, attitudes, opinions, internal struggles, likes and dislikes, trials, tragedies, tribulations, hurts and pains, failures, triumphs, accomplishments, desires, goals and dreams. 

And the totality of who we are inside makes up who we are. And I respect the cheese out of that.

I'm on some other level, man. Ain't no way I'm going to come down on your spiritual choices. Even if you don't believe in spiritual choices, I ain't stressing you out about it. Nerp. That's because I'm confident in myself and my package. I don't have to harrass others. When you see me doing that (harrassing negroes), it is a clue that I don't feel very good about myself.

And shoot... I'm too scared I might miss out on something. Nothing does more for my heart and mind than when someone comes and tells me about some verse of scripture they read that did something to turn something around in their mentality. Or if they heard something in their church services that was really helped them.

I NEVER want to miss out on that revelation, just because I messed around and copped an attitude with their choices. Heck man, I have had athiest friends who have turned me around. I have one right now that is constantly talking vision. Every time they talk, they wash me in words of vision, vision, vision...

Man, I NEED to hear that. Over and over and over. I need that like food and water. That is all. *fans self with Obama church fan*

Oh what a joy when you see or talk to someone and you think "vision". 

Better than thinking "Aww #&*^!!! Here come this fool talking all that SMACK!"

I was laughing at this Hindu Indian guy once. He was a post-doc, while I was an undergrad. I was laughing at him because he loved reading books about the history of African-American (black) people. I thought that was silly. I remember him looking at me and saying in his thick indian accent "Oh, don't laugh. Your people are amazing, and have such a rich history. I just love reading about your people. You are a part of such an important group of people. Don't you ever forget that."

And I never forgot it, etither.

Now, if I was sweating this man about his beliefs, I would've missed out on something I needed to hear at that time in my life.

Til this day, some 20 years later, I always remember that I am apart of an important group of people. I remind myself of that.

If I was judgmental, I would've missed out on those moments in my life. And man..... I just can't afford to miss out on nothing. I have too many problems and sticky questionable areas in my life that I'm trying to navigate to be missing out on ANYTHING helpful. I don't know who gonna come along my life path and be the oh so essential missing piece of the puzzle of my myriad of life issues.

I don't have time to be missing out on nothing that I need. Nothing.

That's just me.

And I will quickly drop folks that are constantly wrecking my mental. And you better drop me quickly if I'm wrecking your heart, too.

I was telling a friend the other day that I don't ever want to be a "bad voice" in someone's life. Ever. Just leave me alone and go find some good voices. There are 7 billion folks on this planet. There are a handful out there who have every intent of helping you be the very best you can be. As a matter of fact, it may just be one of their assignments and purposes in this life--- to help you reach the next level in your life.

Find them. And cherish them. Even if their choices differ from your own. Respect them. Honor and cherish them. They are worth more than gold.

So we talked about that.

That's a deep conversation, isn't it??

I always want to make sure that she concentrates on being an asset and benefit to her friends, and that she is never someone that makes them feel bad about themselves or their choices. I want her to remain cognizant of that. Always.

And she is. My sister is one of the most consistently compassionate and caring people I know. And she is definitely one of the most critical-thinking people I know. I mean, she is a pro at looking at issues from many different angles. I, unfortunately, am not.  I only hope to reach her level of maturity in those areas someday.

My goodness, I'm gonna miss her when she goes overseas. *tears*

That's just my tiny take on the whole "church" thing.

I am glad I'm around folks that go to different churches than I do, etc... so when we do all come together, we all accept each other and learn from each other.

Yes indeed.

Song of the Week. I like this song by Minnie Riperton.

"Baby, this love I have."

I don't remember that song ever coming out. But it's a good song.

I remember when I was a little girl, there was a Minnie Riperton song with a bunch of birds chirping and tweeting in the beginning, that song "Loving You". Ohhhhhh how I hated that song (I was only 6 years old). I just knew it was soooo slow. I wanted to hear something that I could snap my fangers to, and jump around and dance to. A slow song meant be still and be quiet. And listen to Mama sing along. UGH!


Oh... to be young again.

How's about that? Starting off the week with a good Food-for-Thought post... Oh my.

I hope you got a little something out of a typical LadyLee and Sista Kentucky convo.

I hope you make good choices this week... choices that are good for you and your life. I may not agree or fully understand your choices, but as long as you're doing what's good for you, I'm down for you... All day, man. All day, Every day.

Really though.

And I hope you have a good week. 

By design...

and On purpose.


  1. I mean, people who have a LOT going on in their lives always have something to say about what someone else is doing. ALWAYS.<----THAT is the truth!!

    Ive had to learn...the hard way about the choices I make. But the lessons I have learned are ones I NEVER have to learn again :)

    Great post!!

  2. "And shoot... I'm too scared I might miss out on something."

    This is why I keep coming here. You're always dropping some kind of helpful something. This post was all that!


Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!