Thursday, November 30, 2006

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYARI**

Ya'll know how I love a good birthday tribute...

I like to go all out and throw a special blog post up to honor my favorite peoples...

People who have made a huge impact on my life... I consider the day they were born to be a special day.

But some folks...

I swear, they don't even tell you it's their birthday...

You gotta find out by going to their blog, and seeing a short "by the way" type blurb...

Something like...

"It's my birthday. 36. Can you believe it? I used to be so much younger..."

That's what I saw when I went to Tayari Jones' blog today.

WTH? What kind of ish is that?

Now when she writes something that short, I stare... The *crickets* are hopping... I spend a moment trying to figure out the metaphor, the deep intense meaning of life she is trying to get across, or the intricate word play detailed within. I'm trying to even figure out if that is the opening line of some grand epic masterpiece she's working on...

No, I think she rolled out of bed, little tip-toed up to the laptop, typed out "It's my birthday.", and slowly tip-toed back to bed...



No countdown to the birthday, no mention of it...


Nothing.

I expected to see bells and whistles... some elaborate fanfare... a marching band.

Something!

Geez!

Whassup with that, Tayari?!!?

Why you gotta be such a busta?

Come on, Homie, do better!

And you messed me up too, Tayari... I didn't have time to sit and ponder about a proper birthday blog post. I ain't a big time writer like you. I don't think fast on my feet, you know...

But here goes!

Happy Birthday, Celie!


Oh, I mean, um...

Happy Birthday, Tayari!





Now, I've ran up on Tayari a few times this year. I am too old to be a groupie. I just appreciate good writing, and try to support my favorite writers the best that I can. Plus Tayari always does an exceptional job when speaking about her books, Leaving Atlanta and The Untelling...

Let's face it, hon. If you were boring, you wouldn't see an Oldgirl. Nope. I'd buy your books, but I wouldn't waste my time trying to come see you talk... I might just pull you to the side and whisper...

"Yo gurl, you need to step yo game up! Big up, homie!"

Therefore, I ain't a true groupie. Just a fan!

LOL!!

Now my brother, the Milk and Cookies? He's a GROUPIE!




Screaming like an idiot on the Decatur square when he saw her walking by... I wanted to slap that little negro...

I get so sick of him yelling "LadyLee, how's my wife doing?"

**crickets**

Update, Tayari: Milk and Cookies is probably no longer your groupie. He has had a mad passion for older women for the past few years. He, um, ran into a little problem with one of these older women a couple of months ago, and um, let's just say...

His eyes are no longer glazed over, and I haven't heard your name float from his lips in a minute.
Let's just say he don't like older women no more. Yeah, we'll just leave it at that!

But you're still my favorite writer, Tayari!

*LadyLee jumping up from work cubicle, knocking over chair, and kicking the hard fist pump*

Now, I know that you are all "sophistificated" now with your new author picture and all...



Yes, that's nice. Very appropriate, quite dignified indeed...

Yes, yes. It will be a nice topic of interest amongst your literary peers. (And if I ain't suppose to be clipping your pics, let me know... don't run over here screaming about how you gonna sue a broad. Just shoot me a quick email. Humph.)

But I like the old "hood rich pictures". You know, the bootleg ones, the ones where you been dranking and looking all slizzered out of your damn mind... Especially the one you like to put up on your blog everytime you reach a goal of some sort.



(What is up with that, man? Thank goodness for tights! One more drink and you'll be falling over that balcony railing! Cut that ish out!)

Or even when you're keeping it REALLY hood, and getting your hair straightened...



Yep, those are the pics I like!!

And your shoe fetish is hilarious!



My favorite pics? Oh you know, that was when me and my brother came and jumped your car battery when you were stranded in SWATS at you parents house.

(Dude, you BETTER be glad my coworker Que, another one of your die-hard fans, convinced me to call you to see what was up! You would STILL be stranded if it wasn't for her, LOL).

But seriously? I want you to know that you are one of my biggest inspirations. I still have that first email you sent me after I commented on your blog.

"...Always remember, you already ARE a writer. You may aspire to publication, etc. but your heart it what determines if you are a writer or not."

Yo, that was DEEP off the pages right there! That knocked my Nikes AND my socks off! (My boss probably wants to kick your butt for telling me that, because she can't get an ounce of job participation out of me these days!)

But I want to thank you for answering all of my writing questions, no matter how silly they are. And the stuff you've hip me to has helped SOOOO much. It was advice I REALLY needed to hear. That means the world to me. I appreciate it when someone kicks this Oldgirl in the right direction...

You even put up with my funky, funky comments on your blog... I am suprised you haven't BANNED me. HA! Now THAT'S funny!

And on top of that, you are MAD cool! Imagine that!

So, your 35th year was full of accomplishments and excitement!

I can't wait to see what year "36" brings your way!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAYARI!!!!!

7 comments:

  1. happy belated b'day...shawty stopping thru...

    http://sarccastikisback.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am the victim of a blogger drive-by shooting... wasn't expecting that at all!

    Where you been, son? You still claiming ATL?

    GLAD you are BACK!! I will be over shortly...

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  3. ((HUG))) Thank you, Nettie, for the bday love!

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  4. @Tayari...

    Oh, clutch the fake pearls...

    The Queen of LURK CITY makes a presence!

    *LadyLee running down Peachtree street and screaming in her best Shug Avery voice*

    "Oh Ms. Celie, I feels like SANGIN'"

    Hey man, happy birthday... Don't you EVER EVER squeak out a "oh by the way it's my birthday" post on your end EVER again, you heard me???

    And I hope you are having a good b-day. I KNOW you will be providing FULL details over at your spot...

    Right?

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  5. Wow.

    You really are a fan.

    Priceless.

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  6. This is a great birthday tribute to your friend, mentor, etc. I see you have been blogging over here-great pictures of family and food and cat. You can tell I visited you for quite a while today, great posts.

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  7. awwww what a beatiful tribute to Tayari birthday! You are such a good friend!!!

    Happy Birthday, Tayari

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Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!