"Babysiting Blues"

I am OFF today...

The present status at my house.

A bit of background for you.

So...

On Tuesday, Hen-Dog asked if I could keep Chayse (who has somehow morphed into the House of LadyLee mascot as of late) ...

I gave him the blank *crickets* stare.

"I'm off on Wednesday, Hen."

He gave me the long puppy-dog face.

Well, I planned on staying home all day on Wednesday.

And since I am OFF (GLORY!)....

I decided to do this small bit of charitable work for our group superhero, Hen-Dog, and the meanest woman on the planet, Chayse's Mama, Ol'Mean Ass Cynthia.

Then there was all this discussion of what to feed her and the type of games to play. (THEY were trying to discuss this with me. I wasn't asking any questions concerning this).

*blank stare*

"Yo, I'ma sleep all day. Chayse better work it out. And ya'll better feed her before she come over, or send some food! She'll be on the floor with Kramer eating Science Diet Kibble and milk."

Now, I could tell they were concerned. They both had that slightly wide-eyed look.

"We're gonna play games, alright," I added. "Games called 'Be Quiet' or 'Stare at the Wall'".

Later in the day, a box of cereal appeared in my cubicle. Cynt slid a box of Cheezits on my desk. Some type of activities coloring book magically appeared also.

It's interesting what parents do when they are uh, "concerned".

Since I appeared to be "agreeable" to keeping the child, Cynt decided she wanted to get bold and make "suggestion".

"Lee, she wants to make hand turkeys."

I frowned. This did NOT sound good. "What the heck is a hand turkey????" I asked.

"You can get the sugar cookie dough at the grocery store, the dough that's already made. Then you let her trace her hand on the dough." She raised her hand in the air and made an attempt to demonstrate. By this time, Hen-Dog had walked up. "Bake them in the oven, and decorate them."

I just stared at them both.

"And don't forget to get the different color icing so she can decorate them."

I gave them both the Celie crooked 2 fanger point.

"Ya'll better pick the girl up before the sun go down. If not, you can pick her up downtown at DFACS."

They both gave me the wide-eyed stare.

Especially after I repeated my DFACS threats several times that day.

(And I wasn't kidding about that.)

Well, Chayse was dropped off at 7:30 a.m. I happened to wake up at 3:30 a.m. I tend to do this because I am so giddy about being OFF from work. So I was wide awake at that time, had cleaned the kitchen and washed and folded clothes..

Her cat, my "permanent visitor" Kramer, was VERY happy to see her. He knew that her presence meant that he would be getting something he doesn't normally get around these parts: ATTENTION!

I've never seen that cat THAT giddy at that time of morning. He's usually somewhere sleeping, and had been giving me the evil eye all morning everytime I turned a light on.

They both appear to be content, so I guess I am doing a decent job.



So it hasn't been that bad. The child can read really well, which is shocking. I guess they start reading pretty early. And Nickelodeon... after a couple of hours, I had to turn to The People's Court because the kids shows were driving me batty!

(And someone needs to teach this kid how to play cards. She keeps looking at mine. She can get hurt for that. I am TRYING to explain the concept to her! And I am whooping her tail in these Dora Dominoes. Hope she don't start crying, or she has to get out of here.)

She keeps walking this cat all over the place. He is looking to me for help. I am not helping him. He's the babysitter now.

So, I will relax and look after the baby all day.

Now my DFACS threats stand.

First of all, Hen and Cynt, I have 2 samples on instrument #8. Please pull those. My worksheets are on my desk. Fill those out PROPERLY. Log them out (be expedient about that please). If the boss calls me at home concerning this, I will not hesitate to open my Book of Cuss on her...

And then open the same Good book of Cuss on the two of you.

Remember, I am holding your child hostage keeping your child today.

And please pick up the baby before sundown. If you don't, you can pick her up downtown at DFACS.

Have a nice day:)