Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Time to Talk

One of the most interesting things that I've noticed over the first quarter of this year is that my sister and I talk.

We've always been on a decent basis, but we actually TALK talk.

Woman-to-woman.

Now this is odd. Kentucky and I are 11 years apart. She and our brother are 6 years apart.

So, as expected, they are much closer, and talk to one another a bit more freely about things.

I, on the other hand, have been viewed a little differently.

"You're their mother, girl!" LadyTee always jokes.

It has been a running "joke" for years (if that's what you want to call it). I am the only one of my crew over the years that has no children.

If people ask if I have children, I say no.

But if LadyTee is around, she hollers "Oh yes she do! It's a loooonnnng story!"

Ugh.

"You the Mama, Lee, and ya'll's mama is like a cousin or something like that."

Oh, we have laughed HARD about this over the years.

So, as a result, even though my brother, sister and I get along, they have had a certain, I don't know what to call it, amount of respect that they have for me. I don't know if I am saying that correctly, but for some reason, they can't STAND to disappoint me.

(I find this odd. I am not your parent).

Anyway... this is a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing. Over the years, I will hear about what Kentucky is up to from my brother. Likewise, I would hear what my brother is up to from Kentucky. It has been a stretch, unless we are all together, to really have serious discussions.

But they have always known that they can trust me. That is what's key.

Then you have me, who's a loner, and that can be a problem. I rarely give my opinion about anything, just keep it to myself. I don't know how you all can be so forthright and open, but still, to this day, when I talk to folk and give my opinion, some mess jumps off.

My sister and I have had those times. She didn't like something I've said, and an argument ensued.

I don't like that. I remember standing in the kitchen on the phone, telling LadyTee "I had to go off on that girl!"

I think it was at one time, when we talked, for some reason she thought that I was trying to run her life or something.

This pissed me off, as it says that I don't have enough of a life of my own, so I gotta be all up in yours.

This is NEVER the case.

It's just that uh, when I see you going through something SIMILAR to what I am going through, I would be remiss if I don't wave my hands all around like the Robot in Lost in Space and yell "Warning! Warning!"

My sister and brother don't like that too much.

So there came a time, when she worried about some stuff, or worried about my brother, I would be like "Yo, hope ya'll work that out! I really do. I'm not worried about it. I wash my hands of ya'll."

This was particularly funny when my sister was ranting about my brother, and I remember her standing on the steps just staring blankly at me. She'd never heard that response from me.

I think she knew I was serious. There was much going on around that time, and I was going about my daily bizness, enjoying life.

My whole outlook related to this has been the following:

"One of two things is going to happen. You will learn from your own mistakes or you will learn from the mistakes of others. You will save yourself much heartache and time if you learn from other's people crap. Either which way it goes, though... YOU WILL LEARN!"

My sister said, "I want to learn from my own mistakes, blah, blah, blah."

Whatever. Do your thing.

But lately... she's been running up on me, not even saying that she needed to talk. She'd just come in my room and start a converstaion.

And we would talk for a good 2 or 3 hours.

"Lisa, what do you think about this?"

*Lee looking around the room*

"You talking to ME?"

She likes to ask lots of questions about my thoughts on my past relationships, what went wrong, what my part in the break-ups were, and what I learned from it... all kinds of stuff. We'll talk about family isshas also (if she can keep me from getting irate. This is quite rare, lol).

I realize she was going through that period that all of us go through when we were in our early 20s: We think we know EVERYTHING about life.

It's not until one hits about 26 or 27 that one thinks "I may need to start seeking advice."

But I must admit, I really DO enjoy talking to my sister.

She is a very smart chick, and has experienced some things recently, some "learning from her mistakes" issues. She is going through a reflective period of sorts, like we all do when we have relationships that end or if we are trying to find the best way to reach our goals.

Like we all do when we're trying to find ourselves.

When it gets like that, we get to a point where we know it's a time to talk.

And she has admitted that I have been helpful to her.

And that's all I can hope for.

Afterall, that's what I am here for.

5 comments:

  1. Awww..that's sweet.

    My sister is 5 yrs older than me. We talk but instead of me asking for advice, she comes to me..often. Sometimes I feel like the big sister. lol I very rarely bring things to my sister. I've learn from her mistakes. Sadly, she still makes the same mistakes.

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  2. I admire your relationship. I wish my sister would listen. She's 30 and still thinks she knows it all. Her life has been harder than it needs to be.

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  3. I'm happy for you and your sister. My sister and I are 9 years apart (I'm the oldest) and we are just now starting to have some sort of relationship.

    I can definitely relate to thinking I knew it all in my early 20's. Silly me. Whenever I would act like I knew it all with my granny she'd just say, "Keep living grandaughter, keep living".

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  4. It seems that your relationship has reached a new height with your sister, and it's working out for both. No pulling, tugging, or working against the tide. Oh, what a beautiful thing!

    Celebrating this new season in your lives. Bravo!

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  5. How touching!

    Me and my sis are very close. 5 yrs apart and we both help each other out about life!

    She's younger than me but sometimes she helps me to understand things that I can't see looking in and vice versa for her!

    I love the relationship we have and she and my brother are my best friends.

    I'm happy to see that u and her are becoming close, that's the way it aught to be! Is aught even a word,lol

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