Cacophony

When pondering my life the last few months
I close my eyes and I see many words
Words
Words
A cacophony of words
Circling all about my head
At times beautiful like songbirds
Serenading me
Loving me with their beautiful voices
At times ugly like vultures circling and circling
Laying in wait for my most vunerable moments
Waiting to strike
Chewing me up
Taking me out

Words
Words
A cacophony of words
Swirling all about my head
Falling down suddenly
Landing at my feet
A disheveled mess
A pattern so intricate
that I don't recognize
Or I can't understand

GOD
Hurt
Pain
Laughter
Stagnant
Confusion
Loss
GOD
Tears
Selfishness
Path
Intercession
Romance
Ache
Compassion
Death
Confusion
Guilt
Charity
Bitterness
Feelings
GOD
Crush
Love
Hate
Prayer
Shame
Quiet
Reconciliation
Vegetarian
Decisions
Confession
Cry
Bond
Sincerity
GOD
Life
Exposure
Faith
Impatience
Fear
Questionings
Bondage
Scream
Affirmation
GOD
Anger
Friendship
Smile
Imagination
Memory
Surrender
Confusion
Hope
GOD


Words
Words
A cacophony of words
A dishelved mess at my feet
A pattern so intricate
I don't understand
Can barely explain.

That is the gist, the bare essence, of my personal assessment for the third quarter of this year. The very core of all the feelings I've had, some of which I won't even discuss in upcoming posts, much of which I will. But it was quite a trying time for me, as some events overshadowed and swallowed up happier moments.

All events have helped me evaluate myself, and although sometimes painful, have helped me grow as a person.

They've helped me grow as a woman.

Seems like so much is happening, faster and faster, as I approach the wise age of 40.

So much has happen.

So much to ponder indeed.