I am not sure how I should write this post. Not sure at all,
I would like for it to be as short as possible. (yeah right!)
Why did I do this? I have blogged elsewhere about that. Here at my spot, in a post detailing my financial goals, and in an Introduction to Serenity and crew's 21 day Financial Fast that started up on this past Monday (that one was LONG and drawn out. I think I even upset myself with my longwindedness, lol). I think those post taken along with this one encompass the total span of my thoughts and feelings.
But my major reason for doing this is that I needed an attitude adjustment. And I had a stank attitude in the midst of doing some great things recently, like going debt free in April. Last year, I paid off a medical bill I've had since the age of 24. I paid off a 21 year old credit card, which at his height, had a balance of $11,000.00.
Great things.
But with a jacked attitude. I started traveling last year. Oh Lawd, that didn't help. I learned you can pretty much be laid out somewhere in the Caribbean or Mexico for a good price.
I've been praying about my attitude. Yeah, I whine, but I wrap it up with twice as much praise and gratitude. But I still needed some help. Deep down, it was worrying me a bit. And with my having an autoimmune disease that hinges on how I'm feeling emotionally, well... that ain't good.
So, what happened during this time? Well, it is hard to describe. It's sort of kinda like taking a nice stroll down the street. It is pretty and sunny, the birds are singing. You're enjoying your leisurely stroll...
Then you trip up on a crack in the sidewalk. You're surprised. You do what you do to try and catch your balance. If you did indeed bust your tail on the ground, you get straight back up and make sure no one is looking and what not. You know the drill.
That's what this was like. It was an interruption in my normal routine of doing whatever the heck I felt like doing. I had to check myself on the mental tip. I had to really examine what was going on with me. And there was a lot. The way the journaling questions were set up was right on time and very helpful.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm always hollering about every problem has a root. Deal with the root, and the problem soon dies along with it. The root to my anger and busted mentality was fear. Fear of much that I don't care to go into here.
But if you are doing the fast with Serenity and the crew, or just reading along over her way, or simply lurking around over there, you will see something quite interesting going on: people are openly discussing what's on their hearts, and the layers are being peeled away... slowly. But I can see, after going through this, that that was the whole point anyway: the surfacing of fears, concerns, and convictions that are on our hearts... and the realization that we are not alone.
For that I am grateful. THAT was the gist of this thing: A very thorough self examination.
My sister asked how I was doing in the midst of all this.
"In the midst of all the stringency, I feel very free in my mind."
This was definitely the result of a prayer. I don't know about you, but when I pray, paths start to open up immediately. I don't just stand around pondering. And I don't kick out in a full sprint down said path. I tend to, with my scientific and analytical self, casually investigate... and in this case, I am glad that I did.
So, uh, what happened on the financial tip? Now, with any good fast, you're voluntarily setting down some habits, and infusing in new ones for a period of time. Can't shop, can't raise the roof, can't spend money, so... uh, might as well get all up into your own personal bizness.
I tell you, when you have to sit down and dig around in detail in your own activities, it is definitely an eye opener.
I did something interesting over the last 2 days:
1. I compared my spending over the 21 days prior to the fast, to the 21 day fast itself.
2. I looked at the average of my spending on groceries, shopping, gas, and eating out over the first quarter of the year.
Now, me and Serenity emailed about this today. I threw the information out at her, and she was a bit neutral about it. But I know she was sitting on that computer screaming on the inside, lol.
Because I was. I must admit, I was a bit nauseous. And my tail was sitting in a very important meeting concerning some stuff going on in the news. (Yeah, I should've been paying attention, but I was trying to keep from hurling all over the place).
So, I'm gonna be honest and forthright and put it all out there. We all friends here in the House of LadyLee. Let's look at this:
Over the past 21 days, my total spending was about $340 dollars. I have no kids or family (baby sis Kentucky lives with me, but she takes care of her own groceries, gas, etc.), so yes, it's a bit much for me. Remember now, that I'm transitioning out to vegetarian over the past year (shameless plug: Vegetarian Week in June coming up!), and I eat 90% fresh organic fruit and vegetables, which close to doubles my grocery bill. So my grocery budget was close to 75 dollars a week. Gas was about 15 bucks a week. $30 bucks was for the lawn care. My meds ran about 13 dollars after insurance. The rest was for a trip to Wal-mart (you know, stuff like cleaning supplies, paper products, etc., is what really bites you in the wallet!)
This was reasonable enough.
However, taking a look at the 21 days prior to the fast was an eye opener. Approximately 100 bucks eating out. Shopping ran about 120 dollars.
Grocery: A little over 500 dollars.
Look... don't even ask how that happen. I cannot tell you. Well, I can. It was that little ish. Like 20 dollars here, 30 dollars there, etc. You do that a dozen times outside of the regular grocery trips, well... I didn't know (or didn't pay attention), but it adds up!
Oh, that just bothered me to my core! Oh that just... made me want to throw myself off the roof.
Surely this was an anomaly. But, looking at the past 3 months, well, that confirmed it for me:
Average per month (January-March).
$175.00/per month Shopping
$60/per month Gas
$60/per month eating out
$585.00/per month Grocery bill.
Man... I am tripping on that grocery bill. That is HORRIFYING. And I don't know where it went. I mean, doggonit, no one around here eats THAT much. Yep, my organic cheesed out my bill, but not that much. But just looking at it, it's that silly spending that I do: 20 bucks here, 30 bucks there... that's what I'm seeing on paper. That adds up.
So, herein lies the problem.
And as far as I'm concerned, the problem is easy to solve. Chop down that grocery bill, and we are in business.
So, what are my goals and solutions. Okay, this long post is coming to an end.
Get a new budget!!!!! On this fast, I had no problem sticking to 75 dollars a week. Heck, I did so much record keeping that I can probably close in on 60 bucks a week (that's stretching it for organic. Really. But it may be doable. We will see).
So here's the new budget:
$100.00/per month Shopping (I hate shopping, so not a problem)
$60/per month Gas
$50/per month eating out (3-4 days a month eating out)
$300.00/per month Grocery bill.
That's the best I can do. I would love to get that grocery bill down to 200 dollars per month. This might be doable, as this is open air farmer's market season. I also made some great changes in how I shopped. Also, I have to carefully deal with Wal-Mart trips. You know how it is, thinking that you're just gonna run in there for a couple of items and it turns into some craziness. I have to reel that in.
I'm definitely NOT using my debit card again. I like the cash system. I've been trying that out off and on for years. No, it's not all that convenient, but this ain't about convenience anyway. It's about doing better with my money, and working with cash helps.
Alright, you can judge if you want. Go tally up your stuff and find the hole in your stuff, and then come back and shake your finger at me. And you know me. I REALLY don't give a...
Alright, don't get me opening my Book of Cuss.
Moving on.
Shore up Grandma's bank account. I gave Grandma a debit card under my name a good 2 years ago. The author of the book discussed helping people, so that's my part: hook up Grandma. I set a new minimum that I would like to see in her account at any given time, and I was able to take care of that during the fast. I am happy about that.
Decide on savings goals. Not saying how much I want to save per month, because I'm still pondering that. I know SingleMa has a $5K goal match going on her blog for this month, and that ain't gonna happen. I can do that if i knock off one of those zeroes. And I can go stick up the drug dealers who man the street corner. But I like that they have a challenge going on. That is cool, and it makes me think.
Now how much was I able to save over this 21 day period? And what I mean by that is how much am I able to move into my ING account today?
$1000.00.
I was NOT expecting that. It sort of killed off the dry heave feeling of the out of control grocery bill. It had me all giddy indeed.
Biggest thing I learned from this fast? Uh, I know the difference between a want and a need. They are as different as night and day. Different as water and fire. That saved my tail the whole way through.
"Do I need this?" has become the question of the moment these days.
It is critically important that I spend time examining myself in my financial matters and otherwise. Like I said, being part of a finance group has been so helpful over the years, as it has been the core to keeping me reined in on financial matters. This fast took things from a monthly level to a daily level, which was highly necessary.
Equally important, and I didn't know this until reading the book (well, I did, as we do this in my finance group- we do this a lot lately, and those have been our best meetings), is the examination of fears and emotions that keep me from striving in my finances.
For myself, I have to work on my attitude. I must admit that it wasn't bad during this time, and that was refreshing.
Overall, this was a pretty good experience for me, as necessary as spring cleaning of my house.
This was a spring cleaning of my financial house.
I didn't mess up all over the place like I thought I would be doing. No I wasn't perfect. I spent 6 dollars on nonessentials during this time, and that didn't stop me. I took it day by day, and did my best.
As a result, I'm working on being honorable in my finances. I have new rules for my finances. New goals. I'm going to work and reinforce the new habits I have obtained, and I am NOT interested in going back to the way things were.
I have a new attitude.
So that's a recap of my experience. Definitely not brief, and not really all that detailed. I think what needed to get done got taken care of.
And that's a good thing.
Day 365
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One full year of alcohol freedom. Was it everything I thought it would be?
I’m not sure. Not drinking was easy. The thing that was difficult was
ma...
2 years ago
I definitely need an attitude adjustment. For the past few months I have felt like I just needed to be good to myself. I work hard and I deserve it.
ReplyDeleteWrong.
I've always been responsible and somehow I just let it all go to hell. I'm fixing it now. I'm paying more attention. Still not sure if I could put down the debit card for 21 days (or longer).
I'm proud of your accomplishment. it's inspiring.
@Chele... go read Sasha's post on Entitlement Isshas today at Serenity's spot. Very enlightening.
ReplyDeleteI MUST put down the debit card. It is the DEVIL! I don't even know where it is right now, lol. There is something wrong with running in the grocery store for a pack of paper towels, and then coming out with 30 dollars worth of stuff. UGH! I have to stop swiping. This will be hard, but debit card has to GO!
I've put it down for a couple of weeks at a time, and knew it was possible.
The sermons in church lately have been about attitude adjustment and acting honorably. A real dose of reality for me. I'm trying to put all of that in place.
This fast is really helping me. In the past 5 days, I've only messed up once. I bought a Coke. But after I felt guilty about it so I'm trying my hardest not to mess up again.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest problem is eating out. I checked my account from the last 2 months. Restaurants all over my account.
Looking at the amount you were able to transfer to your savings account really makes me smile. As we've discussed, some of the changes I've had to make, I woud like them to be permanent changes. Like Thoughts, I spend WAY too much on restaurants and fast food. I'm tired of wasting my money. I really am getting a lesson on Needs v. Wants.
ReplyDeleteGood Post! and Good Job! Lot's of thoughts in my head --almost bought the book ...but I paused because I know the drama of having to reel all the folks in my house in on the fast-- I seldom carry cash --seldom I(What does it look like?). I found with my current progress in the healthy eating lifestyle that I initially spent more --but I'm also not eating out as much --BUT I do have 3 other folks to manage. I'm gonna think about this 21 day thing...I can do it some way..some how..
ReplyDeleteThanks for opening up! Inspired!
Today, I ordered the book. After reading posts of the crew's journey, I got interested.
ReplyDeleteAs of now, I have about $200 on a credit card. I don't have any debt, I paid off my last student loan a year ago.
My thing is I am ready to buy a used car. I ride the bus and cab it. The cab is adding up.
I want to move to a better place and then eventually purchase a home.
I KNOW I have racked up ATM fees getting money from places other than my bank.
I have curtailed my online shopping. I play with putting stuff in a cart, then I empty it.
My grocery bill is like yours and I am by myself, my daughter does stop in to eat and raid the frig.
Since my daughter is coming back with a baby, my expenses will increase. So I know I have to look at how to utilize my income.
Funny how when I was struggling, I was able to pay bills, get things we needed & some wants, and enjoyed myself. Now I have "stuff" and I get anxiety attacks managing them(clothes, books, shoes) I bought alot of things because I could and now my space is taken up. I would rather downsize stuff then move to a bigger place to accommodate my stuff.
Sorry for the long comment. I knew before read about your spiritual fast, that I had to take HARD look at my finances. I got lazy because I had more money and not many worries.
So you have inspired me to buy another book and start a new journey. Thanks.
P.S. I have not finised Boundaries in Dating yet, I can say it has helped.
@That Southern Black Gal... What is all this guilt craziness I'm hearing? If you fall off the horse, get back ON. Period.
ReplyDeleteThat was me, doing little stuff like that. Didn't think about it. The solution is to buy a 12 or 6-pack of coke and let that be a part of your grocery bill. Not sure if you are counting that as a nonessential. But that is up to you.
I think everybody will find some type of "hole" that money is funneling through. Yours is restaurants. At least you know now.
@Serenity... Needs versus Wants was nooooo joke. It's like, glaring, ain't it. I went to the store last night, and was still thinking about that. That is GOOD. I only spent $9.87. Go figure!
@Cyncere... Go girl. If I was you, I'd follow along over at Serenity's spot. You can get ideas, or give your thoughts. That is helping me much. That's the gist of this thing, as far as I'm concerned: taking a long hard look at what you're doing. If you get one idea to help you and the fam, then you're GOOD.
I read Sasha's post yesterday and it hit me over the head like a baseball bat! I realized that, I used my "entitlement issues" to justify my going out to eat. I would always say, I'd save plenty money if I could just stop hitting the restaurants. But, then I'd justify it with...I don't go out, drink, or go shopping so, I DESERVE to be able to eat out.
ReplyDeleteI have had to adjust my way of thinking big time.
Wow a thousand bucks!!! Yeah that was what jumped out at me after ALL those words.
ReplyDeleteI do know how spending gets out of control. I used to wonder why I was making so much money and not saving a damn dime. I could go on but I try not to blog in folks comment sections. But I have managed to figure out how to prioritise things. Now if I can get some money, you can best believe savings and debt reduction will be foremost in my mind.
A most excellent job!