Food for Thought: Your Love List

My favorite author in the whole wide world writes some of the best writing craft posts over at her blog. They always seem to be what I need to help me go one step further in my writing. Always at the right time, too... It's like she can read my mind, and she gets a notion to help the Oldgirl out.

So it's rare to catch a non-writing post from her, especially one that's more akin to my own "food-for-thought" types of posts. I read one in particular, called her up and said

"Celie! You better let me repost that!!"

(yeah right).

It was more like:

*Lee falling to ground and grabbing Tayari around the knees and crying profusely*

"Oh Silver Girl! PLEASE be so kind as to let a lowly Oldgirl repost that Keep a Love List post!"

She waved her silver magic wand. Silver dust filled the air, and she said "Yes, you may!"

(yeah right)

LOL!!!

It was somewhere in between those two... At any rate, she said Yes. And I am pleased. (I was afraid that she would say no!)

So, here's a "pseudo" guest post from my favorite author in the whole wide world... Miss Celie, aka Tayari Jones...

Keep a Love List

I spend a lot of time advising writers not to let rejection get them down. But today, I am offering a difference bit of advice on the same subject. Instead of thinking of ways to ignore the sting of failure, let's try learning how to celebrate successes-- no matter how small.

Have you noticed the way that we tend to take negativity to heart, no matter what the source? For example, if a deranged stranger on the subway insults you-- says you're fat or something-- you may spend the whole day thinking back on it, being angry or hurt. But if that same person were to give you a compliment, you wouldn't be on cloud 9 all day. Instead you would consider the source-- he was just some nut on the train... and how come I can never get any attention from XYZ person, etc. How many times have you heard a friend or even yourself respond to positive feedback by saying, "Well, that doesn't count because....."

A couple years ago, I realised that I had a bad case of this disorder. I noticed that I could quote negative reviews chapter and verse. (And truthfully, they weren't all that negative. They just weren't raves.) But when I got a rave, I explained it away. "Well, that was just because I am a local girl." or something like that.

I was doing this in every aspect of my life. At the time I was trying to lose weight. When I would get on the scale and had gained half a pound-- so frustrated, in the wrong direction a half pound was a LOT. If I lost half a pound-- why wasn't it a full pound!!-- still frustrated.

The remedy, is that I started keeping a little "love list." At night when I got through plaiting up my crazy hair, I would jot down every nice thing that was said to me that day, every positive thing I had done toward my goals. I wrote down everything-- no matter how small. (When the lady at the Thai restaurant brought me a free taste of coconut ice-cream, I wrote that down. Kind emails from readers, printed them out. When a dude sleeping on a bench said, "You are one good looking lady," I put that on the list. The next day when he said, "I may be homeless, girl, but I ain't blind!" I put that down, too.) Then, the next morning when I drank my coffee, I read the list from the day before. I know it sounds kooky but it really improved my outlook on life.

And kookier still, when I opened my eyes to the affirmation I received, it seemed that the list each day just kept getting longer and longer.

LadyLee's 2 cents (Uh, I mean... Commentary)

Thank you for such a thought provoking post, Tayari...

Sending an intannet High-five to ya!

You know, this post... It really spoke to me. As I've gotten older, I'm beginning to recognize that I have to literally fight to keep the negative things of the day from renting space in my mind. I mean, it gets down to mental gymnastics sometimes to keep all that stuff from really crushing my heart and emotions.

So as a result, I tend to write. I know earlier this year, me and my baby blog sista Serenity were keeping a gratitude journal. Not sure what she was doing, but I was simply writing one sentence a day expressing what I was thankful for. I loved doing that. It proved to me that there was always - ALWAYS - something to be thankful for. And for a moment, only a mere moment, I could concentrate on THAT instead of what was pissing me off that day.

I think Tayari's thoughts takes it to a whole nother level. Writing down ANY nice thing that happened that day, any nice thing that was said, and any step towards goals (which is always nice), is riveting.

Man... that's something from which a new attitude, a new outlook on life could be born... and become a stronghold in one's heart.

And isn't that what we all are looking for?

To be well grounded in our self-love, self-respect, self-esteem... self-worth.

From those intangibles, all tangibles are born.

Add to that that your love list is the most unique list in the world. No one else's is like yours... not even remotely so.

I may be thinking to deeply about this.

Or am I?

Hmmm

Just a little Food-for-thought for your Hump Day...

Thanks Tayari!

Why don't you write a post like that, say... everyday!!!?