Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Advice...Part I

*warning: Rated PG for use of cuss words*

For Chele...

I was reading a post by one of my favorite bloggers, that Oldgirl Chele the other day

Her youngest child The Princess is going off to college in the fall.

Sigh. She has been hit with the realization that her baby is going off to school.
I feel for her.

I don't have children.

However, my best friend since age 10, LadyTee, is always QUICK to holler "Yes you do! That doggone Kentucky and that Kari (Milk and Cookies)! Those are your kids!
Oh be quiet, LadyTee. Goodness gracious, Lawd knows that girl goes on and on about such.

But while reading Chele's post, I reminesced on my own travails in getting Kentucky ready for college some 13 years ago.

I know I was living in New Orleans at the time. And I had to do much for her during her senior year through my friends and through the mail. So LadyTee took care of all her prom type stuff. And CowgirlCre's hubby Timmy Tim went and made sure she made it back and forth to any of her special programs.

Kentucky's Daddy and StepMama were some trifling negroes, uh, I mean, special people. Her stepmother was the type who figured Kentucky was not her child, so.....

You get the picture.

The first piece of advice to her during the time she fell out with our Mama and went to live with her father was:

"Look... Ruby is not your Mama. All Ruby have to do is allow you to live in her house. That is all. Don't expect nothing more. It is what it is."

And that is how Ruby treated the situation. Kentucky was a stepchild. Better be glad you got a place to sleep. That is all.

That was one piece of advice gave her.

Her stepmother was stuck up. I didn't like her at all. And she was always calling me by my "Dr." title. That was something special to her, you see. Meant I was important in her eyes I suppose. (This is probably why I don't use my title much).  I wanted to holler "I'm Lisa, woman! Geesh! Cut this out!"

Another piece of advice was given concerning her father and stepmother again.

Her father was one of those wanna be black panther jokers. I remember the Klan marching through College Park when I was a child, and he and his friends put on their dashikis and went down there and threw rocks and protested. He didn't like those "Blue eyed White devils."

This confused me as a child because I had white friends at school.

I didn't like him much anyway.

But anyway, Timmy-Tim, who would swing by and pick up Kentucky and make sure she got to various education functions on the weekends (they wouldn't take her themselves, you see). So seeing that I was in another state, Timmy Tim had promised me that he would get her to wherever she needed to be. And he did a good job at that.

Kentucky could go stay the night with him and CowgirlCre and it wasn't a problem. I knew he would look after her, made sure she ate, etc.

The problem was that Timmy-Tim was white.


Kentucky's father didn't like this. "How dare you go anywhere with that white devil! I see the way that devil looking at you! You with him?" he yelled for her.


When I got wind of that from a distraught Kentucky... I gave more interesting advice.

"Don't say nothing else to your daddy. When I get back to Atlanta, I got something for his azz!"

I was PISSED, man. PISSED.

I came back to Atlanta, took her Daddy outside, and went off on him. I gave him some extra special advice.

"This man drive damn near an hour to come get her, and take her where she need to go because you won't take her. How dare you disrespect him like that to Kentuckhy. He is ME in my absence, while I'm working in New Orleans. That is my brother, and you will act like you got some damn sense in your head..."

I am a quiet oldgirl. Not that day. Cussed him up and down. He was quiet.

Uh... let's just say, when he saw Timmy-Tim at her graduation, he was running up to him shaking his hand, being all friendly.

Yeah. You better learn how to act. Please and thank you sir.

THEN, Kentucky called me, saying her stepmother wants to speak to me.

*LadyLee rolling eyes hard, as LadyLee don't like Kentucky's stepmother AT ALL*

This woman got on the phone and said "Your sister is going off to school, and you should be doing some things for her."
I let her go on and on...

Because I was letting her say whatever she needed to say... I needed her to get it all out, you see...

Before I open my Good Book of Cuss...

Say what you got to say, babes.

I let her finished, and I gave her a piece of advice...

"Look here, let me tell you something. Don't you worry about me and my sister. Me and my sister is none of your damn business..."

I said what I had to say, sprinkled  LIBERALLY with many cuss words...

One of those moments in life where you... black out.  Yeah, one of those moments.

"Now... put Kentucky back on the phone."

Kentucky said "Yes?"

"That broad better not EVER dial my number again, you hear me?" I told Kentucky... rather loudly. "NEVER! Because if she think I'm crazy now, she ain't seen crazy yet. I got some crazy for that ass. Don't let this happen again!"

"Okay," Kentucky murmured.

You see, here was my thing. I was sending  Kentucky $100 s month allowance during her senior year in highschool (cash hidden in an envelope), plus whatever extra she needed. (Do NOT beg these trifling folks for help with extra stuff,

I always said. Call me instead).

We had agreed for this to continue. PLUS we found out there was a Penneys in the southern Georgia town where her college was located. So, I put her on my Penney's account. I knew she was a buisness major, so if she needed clothes for special events, or whatever else she could get from Penneys, she could use her card, and I would pay the credit card bills.
The whole catch was for her to keep tight lipped about it. This was me and her. Her folks were rachet.

Kentucky can't hold a drop of water in a swimming pool, but you best believe we kept that under the table. After her stepmama called me, we had no more problems with that.

I guess Kentucky didn't like me cussing folks out. I don't like to cuss my elders, but sometimes it's all about principle. Folks in their 40s should not be doing stupid stuff. I was late 20s at the time. That was my problem with them. I can't stand folks who are selfish when it comes to their children. Children should come first. They don't ask to be here.

(I was young and hardheaded then. Still in my dark 20s.I don't cuss folks out anymore.  I will go pray about things now... and brood. No cussing people out).

But with all that tomfoolery and good advice given, I sat Kenyanee down before she went off to college.

I gave her some advice before going off to school...

She is 30 years old now...

And some 13 years later... she still clings to this advice...

All these years later...

Really shocks me how keenly she still follows this advice... to this very day.

This is what I told her...

To be continued.


  1. Man! Lemme txt you NOW and see what you told her O_o

  2. Yep her folks was and still are trifling!! Wannabe high clas Ruby and Mr Wannabe Black Panther himself! What a pair!! Remember I know Ruby's peeps.. I went to middle school w them. Kentucky was putting Ruby's folks to shame and handled that by mistreating Kentucky. High my butt!! I know the deal !!

  3. Thanks for this. Off to read part II.

  4. Nice cliffhanger Lee...


Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!