Kentucky's Baby

When I get home from work everyday, the first thing I do is pour myself a big glass of water.

When I got home the Friday before the 4th of July weekend, I opened the refrigerator to get my water, and I saw a brown paper bag on the top shelf. I am nosy as hell ("I wonder what Kentucky [my sister] got in that bag?)

I opened the bag and saw two baby bottles filled with milk.

*crickets*

I stood there a minute looking at the bottles. They were pretty bottles, covered in pretty little yellow and green flowers.

It crossed my mind that Kentucky had given birth to a baby and was hiding it upstairs!!

Naw, she ain't crazy.

She do stay closed up in that room a lot, though.

She wasn't home at the time. I had a good mind to go up there and pilfer around her room to see what was up. But I didn't. I did what I usually do: got my water and went and laid across the bed and watched Maury.

(Come on now... ya'll know ya'll like that show. "Rakim, when it comes to 10 month old Quantavios, you are NOT the father!!" *Embarrassed baby mama who was talking all that ish a minute ago runs off stage and collapses on a conveniently placed couch in a back corridor; happy accused baby daddy jumps up and does a hip hop dance* Ya'll know ya'll love that ish! LOL!)

I pretty much forgot about Kentucky. I think I even fell asleep for a minute.

I heard her when she finally came home. Not sure what time it was. She came in my room and her face was glowing, all smiles. I saw my cat Oscar-Tyrone, who'd been knocked out sleep at the bottom of the bed, jump up and immediately shoot under the bed.

"Look, Lee!"Kentucky yelled.

She held up a crate.

I was half asleep or something. I just remember thinking... "Damn, that's a strange looking cat."

I sat up in bed. "Uh, you went out and got a dog?"

"No, Lee. This is Mama's dog. She wanted me to keep it for a couple of hours."

I peered a little closer. "Um, is that a PIT?!"

Now when I heard this, the first thing I thought was that my mama was running game and has thrown a damn dog, a baby Pit bull, off on my sister. (Kentucky don't know how to say "NO!") A couple of hours could turn into a couple of lifetimes, and I was all set to have to make a phone call dear old Mom and tell her to come get her dog!

"What is Ma doing with a pit bull," I yelled. "That dog is going to chase her and Sage (her daschund) all around that doggone house!"

Kentucky went on to explain that our mother's next door neighbors raise pit bulls and that this one was the runt and that they were keeping it separated from the mother so that she wouldn't kill it. My mother had decided to hold the runt for them or to keep it (something like that; it all sounded terribly complicated). I am not sure which, and wasn't all that happy about investigating it.

"I'm just keeping him for a couple of hours."

Yeah right.

My sister took the puppy out of the cage and handed it to me. It had to have weighed no more than three pounds, and it was all stomach and head, LOL. I noticed that he had a couple of small black spots on him... and the spots were moving. (Fleas? Oh hell NAW!) He then pissed on me, which I was NOT happy about. As a result, I handed the puppy back to Kay. She took it in the kitchen, and fed it some baby food.

Please don't ask me what's up with that. I am still trying to figure out what THAT was all about.

"Mama said feed it some Gerber's baby food. That's turkey and rice."

*silence*

Then she poured some milk from one of the baby bottles into some bootleg eyedrop bottle and heated it in the microwave for a few seconds and fed the puppy.

"You've got to be kidding me," was all I could think to say.

What was really interesting was the puppy's attitude towards his pet lion.


He was wrestling that thing left and right.

I was like "Look at him. He violent already!"

I was tripping on how much she babied that dog. She fed him every few hours and she stayed up half the night with him. She even went to Petsmart and bought him an 8 DOLLAR can of pet milk. I've never laughed so hard.

But uh, what the heck happened to "I'm just watching him for a couple of hours?"

In other words... When is Ma coming to get her dog?

This dog had fleas. And he smelled like a dog. And Oscar-Tyrone was walking around looking shellshocked, looking at me like... "Oldgirl, I want a friend, someone to play with, but this is some craziness! Get rid of it NOW!"

LOL.

The whole situation was hilarious. I wasn't worried about where Ma was, because if the dog wasn't gone by the end of the weekend, it would be unceremoniously returned to her. I decided to let Kentucky have her fun.

Our Ma did come to get the puppy on Saturday evening. Thank goodness.

Milk and Cookies named the dog "Skeeter". He said that he named it that because he pisses everywhere. Leave it up to Milk and Cookies to come up with some idiotic name. He even took the puppy back to the military base for the weekend? (Milk and Cookies, can you do that, man?)

All in all, there was bit too much exictement around my house for a day and a half. That dog is terribly spoiled.

I'm just glad Kentucky wasn't hiding a real baby up in her room!