Food for Thought: Fads, Fasting, Lifestyle Changes and Such

I have the most interesting conversations with my baby sister Kentucky.

She is 10 times quieter than me, but 10 times funnier.

Can you imagine that.

She cracks me up.

However, we have some serious conversations from time to time.

Sometimes she asks for advice.

Sometimes she's my greatest teacher.

A few months back she was thinking about going natural, and wanted my thoughts on it.

So of course she knows I'm the type to ask a ton of questions. I asked:

Are you doing this because you want healthier hair? Because you want to educate yourself about your hair. Because you want to learn how to properly take care of your hair?

Or are you doing it because you want to get with the current natural hair trend? Are you doing it because you friends are doing it, and they talking trash to you because you perm your hair? And when she did go natural, was she going to turn her nose up at people and downgrade those who were not natural?

And if you know me, or read some of my spiritual or food-for-thought posts, you know everything with me is about motive, intent, and purposes of the heart.

That is ALL God looks at. Yet we as humans don't. We lean toward the superficial.

We're highly judgmental by nature. More interested in pointing the finger at and criticizing others than judging our own lives.

So what I was essentially asking was "Kentucky, what are your purposes, motives, and intent in going natural?"

Was she getting caught up in a FAD?

Or was it something she was seriously thinking about?

We had a thoughtful conversation. I can't say that I know her decision. I'm not natural, and not particularly interested in those things, but I told her I had 2 homegirls who would be happy to talk to her about it. I knew they weren't the type of women who were natural and hated anyone who wasn't (That was my first concern. Good grief!). They are passionate about their hair and are honest, faithful and sincere about the process. They've been helpful to me with my special hair needs (I have a form of alopecia). I trust them to honestly and thoughtfully answer her questions without coercion or judgment. If she needed to talk then she could and get all the info she needed.

(I'm a helpful and useful sister, aren't I?)

This isn't about natural hair and whether I think it's a fad or not. I don't know any natural hair women who are in to trends, etc. (not in my circle, anyway).

But, it's a segue into something else that tends to go on real heavy at the beginning of the year, and my interest in evaluation of it on a personal level.

I come across interesting things that make me think from time to time on twitter.

One of the people I follow, Ms.Sayitlikethis, posted the following set of tweets. She gave me permission to discuss it, and I thank her for that.

"In other news, a thought I had. We all agree that fad dieting is no good, right? So how effective is fad fasting? No tweeting, FB, spending, shoes, pop, candy, fast food or whatever for how many days. Then when the time is up, we "celebrate" by having a cookie, buying shoes, tweeting till we're locked out, etc. The follow-up action has effectively canceled out all the "fasting" done previously. Wouldn't it be more effective & realistic to make a lifestyle change? A healthy balance of all things is the way to go. Deprivation has never really done people good. It's more punishment than reward."

That tweet quote, and the many questions there within made me think.

I'm not here to argue over it. I almost didn't put it up once I found out that our views are different. Most may look at it as a sarcastic crack. I don't. I look at it as a simple question and thought, one I've asked my ownself of myself in the past. Nothing to argue over, of course. I ain't up for arguments, and you'll never hear me scrapping it out over my spiritual views. Nope. (I can't understand why people do that.)

No, I was examining myself and my fasting experiences in light of it. And how I felt about fasting in general.

Is the purpose of fasting to make some segue into an incredible lifestyle change?

No.

If we replace the word "fasting" with "Cold turkey" then it's true.

People go cold turkey all the time. It's a will-power thang.

Fad Dieting became such for a reason. SOMEONE had some good results. Then everyone jumped on the bandwagons. Combine that with only 95% of people diet and lose weight and keep it off, well... there's more of a chance of setting yourself up for failure. Fad diets usually fail. But they worked for someone at some time or another.

Lifestyle changes take time. 30 days is nothing. Come back and talk to me in a year. That's a proper time frame for a lifestyle change. Things need time to take a root within your heart, become a good stronghold, i.e., become automatic without thinking about it.

That's what I deem lifestyle change. A fast is a fast.

Fasting is more spiritually based. Of course fad type activity goes on. But not among anyone I know.

From a biblical perspecitve, it was combined with prayer when some mess was going down, and the people needed some things to happen. And I noticed in the New testament that fasting was done prior to beginning something special.

I know growing up, no one ever taught on it in my church. I didn't understand anything about it until in my earlier 30s. I was REALLY glad my brother and sister, who have gone to church with me, had a chance to learn about it and experience it.

Here's the issue now in this day and time. We are a HIGHLY distracted people. Distracted away from important things. Much is different from when I was 10 years old. I mean now, you can carry a cellphone around, and it's like having a computer with you at all times. Then there's facebook and twitter. Television has changed dramatically. (Television does what it is suppose to do... subtley "Tell" me a vision, which I adopt as my own).

Let's just say, there's a lot going that constantly keeps our minds occupied.

Add on top of that that we all got isshas and problems.

Add to that the time compression element, i.e., where there is no time to do anything. We all complain that we don't have time to get things done.

(Last time I checked, time hasn't changed. Still 24 hours in one day. Hmm).

And with all that, certaing things, like time for God and time for self-reflection, get's put on the backburner.

For me, fasting is a time of setting aside distractions and giving attention to my spirit. Taking time to look at what's going on with me, taking time to pray, allowing God to bring up some stuff with me, etc.

I know the past fasts I've participated in, they were corporate fasts, i.e., church fasts with some specific instructions. But my pastor said, if you notice, you end up adding some of your own personal things in with that, mostly problem areas. That's because it is and should be Holy Spirit led.

We, in our current fast at church, were to look at our personal problem areas.

He said, "If you have a pornography problem, give it up for 30 days. If you smoking weed, give it up for 30 days."

Yeah, there were a few gasps from that. But sorry ya'll. Ya'll tripping if you think folks ain't got some personal isshas. He was just keeping it real, as usual.

And I noticed over the years with people in general, they are attacking some of their personal issues. And that's a good thing.

To fast and NOT infuse some spiritual activity, well that's getting over into fad like behavior.

(And when I say spiritual activity, I mean working on something biblical or working on your inner self. This year, I noticed a lot of people doing a LOT of journalling.)

Now is it suppose to lead to these sweeping lifestyle changes? Maybe. Maybe not. That's all between the individual and God. For some folks it's a personal challenge. Can I stop something for 30 days, or does it have such a grip on me that I can't? The answer to the question may cause a person to become aware that a lifestyle change is needed. And to implement a system to go about that.

Nothing really happens in 30 days. A thought may form. A thought may take root, and changes are implemented. And that's all one can ask for.

Now I must say, after one fast some years ago, where I gave up soda and coffee, well... I pretty much stayed with that. I rarely drink a soda. Maybe one or two a year, if that, and that's usually because no water is readily available. That is something that has pretty much stuck. 99% of what I drink these days is water. I may have one cup of coffee a year. I don't think I had any coffee last year. That's just something that happened. However that is rare with me.

What has been interesting is the food fasts. I know once a year, we have a fast where there is no meat, no junk, etc. I've participated in those.

And something interesting happened in those 30 days. I have lupus. Lupus symptoms completely disappeared for 30 days. I put two and two together.

Yeah, I went back to my normal eating after my 30 days. BUT, it eventually led to a lifestyle change, me transitioning to vegetarian, which has been a 18 month venture to date.

If it wasn't for those fasts, the thought would have never been planted for such.

I know a lot of you fasting now, or coming off your fasts have similar experiences.

That's why I always ask what happened during that time. I love to hear people's experiences,and what they learned about themselves. I'm not interested in some sweeping lifestyle change, and neither are they. Some people have shared details, and it's a blessing to me just to hear the plethora of things that people learn about themselves. I like to think of it as "things that God brought to their attention."

I know we had a fast once where we worked on our temperance, our self control several years ago. We had to pick 3 things that we loved to eat and give them up. Me and my brother, sitting in church, quickly discussed this, and jotted down 3 things we loved. Then our pastor asked us to give those up for the rest of the year. There was a collective moan from the congregation. It was the middle of early July. So to give up your FAVORITE foods for 5 months...uh...

And my brother was in his early teens. Not a good look. But he's a candy fiend and gave up candy for 5 months, along with a couple of other things.

No sweeping lifestyle change. Just stopped it for 5 months. At the end, I didn't ask him about what he gave up? Did he have the shakes or anything. Didn't care about that.

I asked him what he learned from the experience. He said he learned that anything is possible, and if he set his mind to it, prayed about it, etc., it was possible. He could set personal goals and achieve them.

That's a powerful lesson to learn for a young dude. I think during his times of fasting overall, I've seen him develop in his compassion for others. He couldn't buy candy, but he'd buy something for someone else instead. He couldn't eat certain things, so he'd treat someone else to lunch. Little things like that. I've seen him work on personal things during that time. I know he prayed more. I found it all interesting.

Now, my sister is amazing, because she'll pray and have isssues, and she'll be led into personal fasts. I mean, this chick has lived with me, and she'd be on a personal fast, and I wouldn't even know it. And she'd stay in that mode until she got an answer. She'll tell me about it later. And I'm always interested, if people care to share, the what, why and how behind it. And she has shared things with me, like what was going on with her, and what the solution was and how she implemented it.

And that is the key: if you got something out of it. That's one of the most powerful things I've ever learned from her.

If you did, and nothing happened during that time... well, here we go with fad activity.

And we all know, nothing comes out of fad or trend-like activity, but being apart of the crowd. And that has to do with working to gain the approval of others, and you know how I feel about that.

Fasting is not about that. Not at all. I haven't participated in our church fasts over the past 2 years. I was in this one this year, but the doggone snowcation, I allowed that to mess me up, lol.

I did a personal financial fast last year. I know if I pray about things, a whole bunch of stuff happens immediately, like people and situations come across my path, and I can be a punk and turn my nose up at it, or I can get a clue and recognize that I better take advantage of it. I usually go ahead on and be respectful enough to follow the path. One of those things I did was that financial fast last April, which I did all alone.

Just looking back, it makes me go WOW, because I learned much about myself and the "why" behind why I did certain things financially. It was just 21 days, and much was brought to my attention that I didn't even know about. It helped me. And eventually I implemented some changes, set a few goals. We just finished one for my finance group. I learned a few more things that I'm currently thinking on, and looking for the courage to change.

And that's a good thing. And that's all I wanted in the first place. And that's all God wanted in the first place: to bring things to my attention, and look at the root of my issues.

I myself am currently experiencing some interesting results from a personal prayer fast I did for the months of November and December. It was a time I set apart to work on some consistency in my prayer life, some time I took to pray about a few things that were REALLY bothering me... and I learned much about myself in the process.

And that is what it's about. Again, no big lifestyle change.

Clearing out distraction, and getting down to personal spiritual business.

In the New testament, when Jesus was led into the wilderness for his 40 days and 40 nights of fasting, it was a spiritual thing. In his case, it was in preparation for something bigger.

And if you notice overall, there is no special directive or commandment to fast. It is ultimately a Holy Spirit led activity. This leads me to believe that it's highly based on the individual and individual needs at the time. And it explains why people are so varied when it comes to their personal fasts.

That's what's important. Highly important.

So those are my thoughts on the whole matter, looking at my own self in light of that statement above. It's not a matter of deprivation for me. It's a span of time where I put what distracts me aside and spend time on personal spiritual matters. A time for me to look at personal problems and pray effectively over them, and believe for answers. A time for some thoughts to be planted.
And that right there, that's what it's all about for me.