Food for thought: Of Dreams and Roaches

That's a odd title, isn't it?

Probably not all that appropriate for this post.

But it's an interesting visual, isn't it?

LOL

Maybe it will be more meaningful by the time you finish reading this post.

Anyway, It is the end of the year, and I find myself pondering my year, and conversations that I have had that have really affected me and stayed on my mind.

And this year, I've had some conversations that make me a bit confused. They shouldn't have, but they have.

Now, I don't consider myself the most friendliest person in the world. I tend to be a loner. And a lot of that is because I don't like to be around "common" folk that much.  And when I say "common", I mean people who are messy, gossipy, divisive, and are caught up in running with the crowd. I don't care for people who tend to be shallow and can't think for themselves.

You know what I'm talking about... common people.

With that said, people like to talk to me for some odd reason. I'm the type of person you can tell your goals and dreams to, and I'm not going to shoot you down. I have a fundamental understanding that your goals and dreams are different from mine. And everyone has a set of interesting and unique purposes that they and only they can fulfill in this life.

So this is something that excites me. I'm supportive of people's goals and dreams. I consider it an honor to be trusted with such conversations.

However...

Lately, these discussions have come with a strange attachment.

I want to do A, B, and C... but I'm afraid of rejection.

Afraid of rejection.  In other words, afraid of what people will say.

It's a bit disturbing to have a lively conversation with someone, and their thoughts end with the whole "fear of rejection" sentiment.

That is like taking your dreams, putting them in a pile, and pouring gasoline on them... then setting them on fire.

Really.

I wonder how many people have given up any notion of pursuing their dreams and goals because of a fear of what people will say? It may have always been this way, but I have noticed it as of late.

So I've had to come up with something to tell these people. Trust me, it's a LOT of people.

And it's essentially the same thing I tell myself.

I know my sister has some big things she wants to do. But she's a bit worried about others would say.

"Shhh!" I say. "Kill all that noise. Hush! Take all that stuff you said about what people will think of your decisions, and put it in an imaginary box. Tape it up and put it back in a corner of your mind... or over there somewhere out of the way. NOW let's have this conversation again. Tell me your goals and your plans concerning what you want to do."

The conversation was so much better.

Yes. Put all the negativity away. All the negativity tends to cancel out the positive things one says Concentrate on the positive.

And for goodness sake, stop talking to people who stomp on your dreams.

As I have said before... "Do not discuss your uncommon dreams with common people."

I had few friends who told me some interesting things they want to do. Hey, I was all excited for them. "Do it!" I immediately say. "You can do it!"

Then that old phrase creeps into the conversation. It's sort of like a roach running across the floor.

"I'm afraid of being rejected."

Ugh. It is indeed like a roach running across the floor. I want to find some spray and kill it!

And if you see one roach, there's a bunch more hiding, waiting to see if the other roach makes it. LOL

It's such a dream killer.

I asked one relative, who I hadn't talked to in awhile, a question. We had been catching up on things, and she was telling me of some pretty interesting plans. Then she talked about the rejection issue.

I asked her a pointed question: If she was the only person on the planet, would she like this thing she wants to do?

"Of course," she said.

"Of course you would," I replied. "Concentrate on that."

Yes, concentrate on that.

People don't realize this thing right here: People who constantly criticize other folks dreams and goals do so because they themselves don't have dreams and goals, or were for whatever reason unable to fulfill  their dreams and goals.  And they don't want to see you do well.

How can you support someone else's dreams and goals when you have failed at your own? How can you support someone's dreams and goals when you don't even have the courage to pursue your own dreams and goals?

Hmm...

This has been the gist of my conversations as of late. I'm not sure why. We are living in a time where we have so many resources available to us to do the things we dream of doing. So many.

And yet we are still afraid of rejection.

I myself have had these fears in the past. But it was when I was younger, and didn't have many accomplishments under my belt. I think as we get older, and accomplish more things, we gain more confidence. And we strive for more.

And I've noticed when I have been successful, some of that depends on surrounding myself with people who support me, and getting rid of people who bring me down.

That too is key. We all need support. And there are supportive people out there. The thing is to surround yourself with them. If they are not supportive, then don't discuss your dreams and goals with them. They can't handle it, and you shouldn't expect them to.  Leave your discussions with them to more common things.

So that's my advice these days to people. All that negative mess people are spewing at you? Put it in a box and put it to the side. The positive will shine brighter, and have more meaning for you.

And imagine you are the only person on the planet, alone with your goals and dreams in front of you. Do you like what you see? Are you yourself supportive of your own dreams and goals?

The answer is usually yes. Especially without all the negative banter in your ear.

Well... that's all that matters, doesn't it?

We are quick to grab a can of spray and kill roaches.  But we aren't all that quick to kill the negative things that people say concerning our dreams and goals.

It shouldn't be that way.

Hmm...