Bliss and Shai asked me to talk a little about some "seed" issues I am currently experiencing, namely the sowing of uncomfortable seed. I thought I would attempt to do just that. It has been a lot to think about, and I have no real idea of how to put it all down on paper (blog post). But I will attempt to do so.
As you know, just about everything with me is related to seed and fruit and roots and sowing and harvest and the like. And I have found some new and deeper thoughts on seeds beginning to materialize, and for that I am thankful. I don't think I could fully do it justice here without looking back at old blog posts. I found one that I posted some three and a half years ago that captures my foundational thoughts on the subject matter pretty well...
Now, I wrote this particular post here after a 30 day church fast, which was focused on the subject matter of "seed". By the time that was over, I was thinking hard about seeds and what they mean... from a spiritual, mental, emotional and physical aspects. And all of that was good for me. I am still thinking about it.
So read this post, and tomorrow, I will post about the "uncomfortable seed" and other seed matters...
Reposted from 1/30/09...
Since I've been on this 30 day fast, where we can only eat foods that originate from a seed (see last post)...
Let's just say, I got seed on my mind.
All I'm thinking about is seed.
And that was the purpose of this fast.
Now, since I'm not the most learned individual, I tend to go look up words, to help me understand them properly. So I looked up the word "seed" over on dictionary.com. There were close to thirty different definitions of this word seed.
One stuck out, and I really don't know why... Maybe because it ties in closest to what I think of seed.
Seed: the germ or propagative source of anything.
That right there is a loaded definition. A phrase that sticks out to me is "propagative source". Source can also mean "root". So, if we alter that definition, then we get
Seed: the germ or propagative root of anything.
Now, that's a definition right there. Hmmm
Another word sticks out in that definition: "anything".
What do I take from this? The following:
Everything starts somewhere.
Those huge California Redwoods didn't just appear overnight out of thin air. They all started from a seed.
Likewise, you and I didn't develop into who we are overnight. Our problem areas didn't develop overnight. They started a long time ago.
A seed was sown somewhere. Where? Who knows! I can only speak for myself, if I examine my past really hard. But a seed was sown somewhere.
We saw something. Somebody said something to us. You and I received that seed (that thing we saw, that thing that was said)...
We incubated it, we nourished it...
And it grew into something.
Oh, and it grew into something BIG. Now, maybe we caught it when it was a mere seedling and we could pluck it out the ground with a little toothpick. But, if we've been growing it and nourishing it, it might be as big as one of them big California Redwoods. And a little toothpick won't do. It's gonna take some WORK to uproot that issha that started from a little seed.
Hmmm... Does that sound complicated? Maybe so... But you know what I'm talking about.
Let me give you an example: You've read on this blog, many a time, that I can't stand reading erotic fiction. First of all, much of it is badly written. And with me deeply ensconced in learning the art of writing good fiction, I ain't reading that. Second of all, I've gotten busy every which way possible, have swung from the chandaliers, got down on kitchen floors and counters... but heck, that don't mean that I want to read about it, i.e, I don't find it original.
But most importantly, if I keep reading it, and reading it, and reading it...
I'm sowing some seed into the ground.
I'm sowing some seed into the ground (my heart).
That seed is going to grow into... something.
So, why would I ever be surprised sometime later in life, that I wake up one morning and realize "I am such a ho!".
I suppose that is an extreme example. Surely it is. That ain't true for everybody. I, LadyLee, have a VERY addictive personality. I am ALWAYS mindful of that. That's another way of saying, if I start some craziness, it will take root and start to grow VERY rapidly and out of control.
A real life example about myself: I use to listen to A LOT of gangster rap in my 20's.
Why is it not a shock that I use to smoke a lot of weed and drink alot and cuss way too much? It's not a shock, because I was spending my time with music (containing words, which produced images in my mind). Eventually something's going to happen.
So, with that said, and looking at the condition of urban black music: Why are you suprised that our children and teens are out of control?
Everything in life is about seed.
Everything starts somewhere.
Jokers don't wake up and become hard core killers overnight. No way.
I submit to you that THAT is impossible.
Why do you suppose when you look at these documentaries on killers (stuff like Snapped, a show which I absolutely love), that they ALWAYS go back to the beginning.... waaaay before the murders take place?
They have to show you where things started. They are looking for the seed.
All these negative examples. GEEZ. Let's think about something positive.
Now, I love the fact that Barack Obama is president. I was neither here or there concerning the election. I just wanted that stuff to be over with, because it was stressing me and everybody else out.
Yes we are all clicking our heels, doing the running man over this.
But I'm not thinking about that, the end result, his presidency.
I'm thinking about the moment, the THOUGHT of "I want to become president" forming in his heart.
What was the "seed" that started all of this?
I've always imagined he and Michelle sitting at the kitchen table in the cool of the morning, just before the kids wake up, having their cups of coffee, and him saying "Baby, there's something that has been in my heart, and I want to know what you think about it."
His whole presidency grew from some seed.
Interesting example. I hope I got my point across.
And, this is what I have learned about seed during the 30 day seed fast:
Overall, I feel as if we are responsible for what "seed" we choose to receive in our hearts. We are responsible for the incubation, care and nourishment of that seed.
But, most important, and terribly crucial and critical-
We have to investigate if that seed is something that will bring us to our life's purpose or if that seed will eventually grow into something that will lead to our total destruction.
I am starting to throw everything in those 2 categories: Life purpose or total destruction.
And when I say "Destruction", I mean deterioration and loss of my self-esteem, self-love, character, self-worth, and a host of other things...
Even destruction of my life.
And I am finding now, over the last few years, that if I discern the DIFFERENCE and act accordingly, well... I can expect to "grow" a better life for myself.
Seed may mean something totally different to you. Enlighten me.
Question (which you can answer for yourself and quietly to yourself):
If you have a bad habit, are you able to locate the seed from which it originated? Are you able to locate the root, the "propagative source"?
If so... if you destroy the root, then you will destroy the bad fruit that's being produced in your life.
More importantly, when it comes to the good in you, the good things about you (your positive qualities), are you able to locate the seed from whence it grew?
Are you thankful for that today?
If not, take a moment to be thankful for it. It may be something that will grow into your life's purpose.
I hope I put a little sumthin' sumthin' on your mind today.
I really do.
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