Food for Thought: "Judgmental"

Before I even do my "Food for Thought" for today, I have to say that I had an enlightening email conversation with Miss Celie a.k.a., the Queen, i.e, the wonderful Tayari Jones. You gotta understand, I idolize her, and shoot, that's like getting a call from Janet Jackson or somebody like that, LOL!! So she gave me a little impromptu writing help concerning my story Leaving Jersey, which had me looking all around me, from side to side, and peering back curiously at the screen.

*LadyLee grabbing a notebook and FURIOUSLY taking notes*

HA!

Thanks, Tayari, for making my day. Your advice helped me out a lot, so much so that I went home and incorporated into another piece I'm working on. HOORAY...

Okay... enough of that. Getting back to Food for Thought week...

I had a couple of other food for thoughts prepared for today, especially one that Serenity23 loves and asked me to talk about (stay tuned tomorrow for "Serenity Postulate #23")...

But something happened this morning, that happens every morning I drive into work over the years, that made me think of the following passage of scripture, Romans Chapter 2: 1-3,out of the Message version of the Bible. Now, the chapter PRIOR to this is used by Evangelicals to denounce hom.o.sex.u.ality, but uh... right AFTER chapter 1 comes chapter 2, and uh...

Let's just say... NOBODY ever mentions this part. No one.

"Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done. You didn't think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard?"

Now I read about 4 different versions of the Bible. I like the Message version because it knocks me right between the eyes. When I first read that, it blew me away to the point where every time I get to talking trash about someone's actions, it comes to mind. Every time. I'm trying to get to the point these days where I am trying to figure out "why" someone does what they do instead of mocking what they do.

I also ask myself the question: Am I ragging on them because there is some stuff going on with me that I just don't want to face?

Hmmm.... I ponder, and I will continue to wonder.

Back to this morning.

I've been driving to work lately, because I want to get out of here early. (All spring and summer I was working 10+ hour days... NOT a good look.) So right now, I get to work around 5:00-5:30 a.m. I like getting in that early. 'Tis VERY peaceful, and I can get a little writing or blogging done, etc., before I start my day.

Anyway, I park on the street. I work in Midtown Atlanta...

I work on a street that's NOTORIOUS for male hustlers. I knew about this street when I was in elementary school. That's how much legend there is behind it. I mean, it's to the point where we here don't really pay them any mind. It's pretty normal. Some of the employees have stories of getting "flashed" from time to time. I remember a while ago, when my bro Milk and Cookies would come down to my job to see me. He would ask "Lee, why all these dudes just out here sitting around?"

"They're hustling," is all I would say. It is still difficult to explain certain things to him. I still think of him as two years old.

Anyway, I usually turn on the street, make a hard U-turn, and park in the mornings. I like to sit in my car sometimes and listen to a song, or look through some mail, stuff like that.

And I usually get approached by a male hustler.

I politely say through my closed window... "No thanks, Man... I'm going to work over here." Then I point to the building.

"Alright, have a nice day," they say politely.

I've had them knock on the window and ask... "Are you going to work?"

I guess this would scare most folk. I myself get to thinking, "Bruh, if you haven't made your money by now, go home."

Plus, I ain't never scared. I have a extra large long SHARP screwdriver in my car, and shanktification is not a problem. Yeah.

Anyway... I can't imagine having to make a decision to hustle. How disgusting for them to do such a thing.

But what led to that lifestyle? What's the "why" behind someone making a decision to sell services on the street? We all dream... I know they had dreams growing up. Who stole their dreams? What happened???

And I am beginning to recognize some of these dudes. They all seem to be friends, as I see them chit-chatting on the corner from time to time. Why would someone do such a thing day in and day out?

I did a post ("The Scoop from the Stoop") awhile back of a boyfriend paying me 20 bucks to uh... get busy. It completely unnerved him, and he was looking at me like I was crazy for a week. I was like, whatever, because I needed the money. I must say it was the best 20 bucks I ever made, and I made that money stretch out until I got my school stipend a week later...

So... I have no right to judge these people. And if I did, it must mean (for me, at least), that I got my own personal isshas that I may not even think are of much concern, to work on instead.

Plus, I am pretty sure that if we would have made one or two bad decisions in the past that took us down the wrong path... we could've easily been in the same position.

Because for me? Until I solve all my problems and get rid of all my idiosyncracies (and the Oldgirl has many of those... I am very wierd)...

Then, I have no time or right to be passing judgment on others.

I am always thinking about a piece of that verse above:

Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors.

Yeah, I get crunk like everybody else... Let's face it, we're ALL judgemental, tripping about why someone is acting silly, doing certain things, etc...

But at night...

When I'm alone, and I am praying, and it's just me and God and my thoughts...

Self assessment takes over, and I think about whether I have been judgmental that day, where things went wrong that day, etc...

And I point the finger back at myself, and see what I can do or what I could have done better.

I am learning that if I spend less time judging others and more time judging myself... then I'm maturing, growing...

... and hopefully becoming a better person.