Thursday, November 08, 2007

Food For Thought: "The Serenity Postulate #23: Of Life and Eggs"

For That Southern Black Gal... Thanks for making me laugh the other day (over at Honey Libra's spot). I needed that.
For my baby blog sista Serenity 23... I will always be your "Personal Doctor"

I wrote in an earlier post that I have a small baby blue suede journal that I tend to grab for recording little interesting things I hear throughout the day, hopefully for use in my writing material at some point or another. I sit in the cubicle I share with my cubicle mate Cowgirl Cre and I read whatever I've written the night before. We get a good chuckle out of that, especially when I tell her where I got the idea from ("Girl, I got that from Good Times!")

My blog sistas and I have an email thread that goes on and on all day, and it might as well be instant messenger, LOL... All kinds of interesting convos go on... everything from joning on one another, uplifting one another, to the extremes of fighting and getting cussed out... Let's just say, uh, I feel kind of weird if we aren't "communicating" in one form or another, LOL...

I listed some of the interesting things from my notebook on the thread, and Super Shoe Queen Blogger, Serenity23, got WAAAAY too excited about one of them, to the point where she used it a couple of times... So we have jokingly called it "The Serenity Postulate #23". She asked me to use it as a "Food for Thought" and expound on it...

The Serenity Postulate #23 states:

My past...

I can't unscramble THOSE eggs.

Serenity saw that on the thread, snatched it up, and ran full speed ahead in with it... I remember her saying, "This happened in the past, blah, blah blah. I can't uncscramble those eggs!"

I wanted to send her an email saying "Woo, woo, woo, Serenity."

I have no idea what we were talking about, but that postulate is loaded, and we could discuss it alll day if we had to. I think I picked up the phrase from the finance class I am currently taking, but I thought that it had implications reaching far past financial isshas.

I suppose trying to "unscramble" an egg that has already been cracked and cooked is a most difficult thing to do. Can one actually take a scrambled egg and take it back to the state that it had been in a few moments ago, perfectly round yolk in the middle of the slimy whites, and place it back into a shell that doesn't look like it has ever been cracked?


I don't know.

Same thing with the past, i.e., the events and personal isshas of the past.

I find that when I think of my past I don't particulary think about the accomplishments. I purchased my first home a couple years ago, and that's a huge accomplishment. I obtained a Ph.D. close to 10 years ago (man, has it been THAT long?), and that is something to be proud of.

However, my accomplishments are gravely overshadowed by my failures (in my mind's eye). I think more about my failures than about my successes. And that's not good.

I mean, I say to myself often "Knowing what I know now, if only I could go back and do A, B, and C over..."

But that's not possible. The past is the past. I can't change the past...

I can't "unscramble those eggs."

I must learn from my past, instead of wallowing in regret of my past, and that is a difficult thing for me to do. A couple of nights ago, as I lay across my bed reading a book, I started thinking about some personal mess in the past, and I started crying. Didn't understand why I got upset all of a sudden.

I attributed it to PMS, and pulled myself back together.

All the failures, the mistakes, the pain, the anger... all of that is in the past. I can't change it, and most of all, I need to stop meditating on it. Today is a NEW day. And any day I wake up on the right side of the dirt is a GOOD day. Period.

I have tried to drill into the heads of my brother Milk and Cookies and my sister Kentucky that they will learn from my mistakes or they will learn from their own mistakes. Whatever the case... They will learn. But the thing that they don't want is to make those mistakes, and it be a part of their memory forever, to the point where they are analyzing it, trying to figure out how to undo it, and it paralyzes them, etc... They look at me with that "deer in the headlights" look when I say such things, but hopefully they will someday understand.

With that said, I can't fully focus on the drive ahead to my destination, if I keep staring in the rear view mirror at what's going on behind me...

I keep telling myself that. Hopefully, someday it will take root in my heart.

I'm glad this "postulate" touched Serenity's heart, and she took it in her arms and embraced it as her own. She has been through things that I don't think I could have ever handled, but despite all of that, she presses forward towards her goals and dreams... She is a huge inspiration to me because I have witnessed her, for close to three years, move forward and grow by leaps and bounds, despite the isshas of her past.

She knows that she can't unscramble THOSE eggs...

I have to, as our other blog sista The LadyBug Mocha says: "Man up and stop being a punk"...

...and get to the point where I know that too.

7 comments:

  1. Ok, please don't sue me when I start using that phrase "You can't unscramble eggs." Man, I want some eggs with cheese so bad right now. Anyway, if I sat back trying to unscramble the many eggs that I have scrambled, man I'd have to just jump off a bridge. I actually don't regret any of thsoe scrambled eggs b/c they all contributed to who I am right now. And I'm pretty pleased with my progress..

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  2. Anonymous11:46:00 AM

    This is a very inspiring post. I tend to look at the mistakes I've made instead of the good I've done. I do this often and I find myself getting sad and crying.

    Even though I don't eat eggs, I'm snatching up your phrase: "I can't unscramble these eggs".

    I have a quote book where I find quotes and write them down. I'm snatching this up too: "I can't fully focus on the drive ahead to my destination, if I keep staring in the rear view mirror at what's going on behind me."

    For making you laugh you must be talking about Flavor Flav and $5 million dollars. Girl it's the truth. It's not too many things I wouldn't do for $5 million dollars and if it means sleeping with Flav, I'm down. lol

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  3. @Serenity23...

    That is YOUR phrase, not mine, although I plan to use it in my story Leaving Jersey... It is DEFINITELY something Elba would say... and you know her life is a bit, uh, off the hinges...

    Falls right in line with something else she says: "God don't look at my past to determine my future, so why should I?!"

    You said "I actually don't regret any of thsoe scrambled eggs b/c they all contributed to who I am right now."

    Yeah, that's a good addendum to the postulate right there.

    @That Southern Black Gal...

    We need to let it go and keep it moving... and man, that takes a lot of focus and practice, and a lot of reining in of our thought life,i.e., regulating what we are meditating on...

    And that Flavor Flav comment... I was NOT expecting you to say what you said. Me and Cowgirl Cre sat here and laughed a looooong time over that. Thanks for the laugh. I was bee-yotching bad that day, and you made me smile:)

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  4. Ummm.... can we get Friday's postulate? ;-)

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  5. It's encouraging that you were able to process your sadness and find the root. Then, push yourself forward. PROGRESS! Learn to live in the now with a view to your future because great things are in store for you.

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  6. Still posting some good reading I see..."Food for Thought" as it where:)

    UWRA
    Deirdre

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  7. Anonymous4:35:00 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!