Breaking My Rules

I broke one of my many rules last Saturday...

And I usually get terribly upset with myself for breaking my rules.

But this particular one, I broke:

"I DO NOT ATTEND CHILDREN'S ATHLETIC EVENTS!"

People know this, and they have to hear me talk much trash when they ask me about it.

So...

Last week, my Gang Leader The Green-Eyed Bandit, the Leader of my Triple F Posse (Financial Freedom Fighters), sent me an email:

"What are you doing tomorrow afternoon? Ced has a basketball game at 2:30 and wanted to know if you wanted to go"

**crickets**

Now, Green-Eyed Bandit knows I don't fool with childrens running around calling themselves playing sports. I have spent TOO many weekends carting my brother Milk and Cookies to his little league football games. I can still remember sitting on very COLD bleachers, my teeth chattering, watching that boy running around trying to play football.

HUMPH.

Never again. Never ever ever!!!

I sent her a polite email, telling her that I will attend her boy's basketball game when he plays for the Atlanta Hawks.

(I was sure to request free front row tickets... Nothing less will do for this Oldgirl).

She said she understood. But her boy Ced is the star of the team. It would be the first game of the year, and he was a starter.

And since we were having a Triple F Posse meeting that morning, she thought she would recruit some cheerleaders.

(I could've sworn I heard the sad violin music, or that sad Law and Order music playing within that email.)

So, I decided to throw caution to the wind... and break my rules.

(Oh, that Green Eyed Bandit know she know how to work that psychology.)

So, I go to the meeting, and I am all happy and hyped up, because all the ladies are making such wonderful strides in financial matters...

Afterwards, I start talking much trash to Ced.

He's a tall skinny 12 year old brutha, very laid back. I started pushing and shoving him around. He's very polite, and dealt with my harrasments well enough.

"Boy, I wanna see you score 100 points!"

"That's not allowed, Miss LadyLee."

He goes on to break down the rules to me.

I really didn't care about that. I wanted to talk trash, see some ol' Michael Jordan type action.

"Boy, I want to see some reverse back flip 360 degree flips in the air." I shove him hard again, hit him upside the head.

"That's not allowed, Miss LadyLee."

He goes on to recite more official rules of his league.

What is with this kid? No one is this dayum polite.

Well, I follow them out to the game. I start having flashbacks of being cold and sitting on uncomfortable bleachers. But the place was warm, the bleachers were good. That was a good thang!!

Then, the Green-Eyed Bandit morphed into something strange: a trash talking parent.

She snatched off her jacket, and tied it around her waist. Her eyes took on this eery steely look.

"This is my NBA," she spat as she stood in the bleachers. She placed her hands on her hips. "This is all I got."

*LadyLee scooting down the bleachers a little so as not to be a casualty of Green-Eyed Bandit's wrath*

Ced is #42 on the Phoenix Suns team. He's the tallest kid on the team, and I was still expecting him to do some behind the back slam dunks.

Now, this was actually a pretty good action packed game. And it was only an hour long. And these shorties were playing like they were playing for some money or something.

And the parents were yelling something awful. Green-Eyed Bandit was loudest of them all.


"Ref! Can I get some foul calls!?"

"This ain't football, Ref!"

"Play some D! Get on him!"

Ced was part of some really bad collision and left the game with a nosebleed. Green-Eyed Bandit went to check on her boy, but came back a few minutes later.

"Is he alright?" I asked.

"He's alright. I told him to man up and get back in the game."

*LadyLee raises an eyebrow. Green Eyed Bandit commences to hollering hard*

Green-eyed Bandit did more screaming, more hollering. She did a lot of walking back and forth in front of the bleachers. I'm suprised she wasn't all hoarse.

Thank goodness she didn't start cussing and throwing stuff around. I would've had to tip-toe outta there!
Ced's team won 28-13. Now that's a good opening day win.

And that was a good game. I hated that it was over in an hour.

(Imagine that!)

So Ced and Green-Eyed Bandit... I may make another appearance or two this season.

I kinda like breaking my rules.

And Ced... You're going to have to attempt at least one dunk for the Oldgirl. Really!

Ya'll have a great weekend!