Friday Food for Thought: "Bitter vs. Better"

Oh my... TGIF.

Thank God it's Friday. Because I do need the weekend off.

I'm still struggling to get over a recent cold. Colds are tough for me. They are worse than the flu. They wear me out.

I've been a bit depressed and edgy over the last few days. No fault of my own. My meds are bumping into my hormones, and it's driving me nuts. Well, at least I hope that's what it is.

That could be just an excuse. I don't know.

One of my goals this year is working on verbalizing what's bothering me. This is VERY rare for me (probably raising an eyebrow with whoever I decide to pull to the side), and I must admit, I've managed to make some decisions concerning some things going on in my life because of it.

And I suppose that's a good thing.

Whatever's going on with me... it will pass.

I wanted to try to set aside my Fridays for "Food for thoughts". Not a regular feature, but it gives me a good avenue to look back over my week and post what's heavily on my mind.

So here's something I've been pondering...

Something for you to ponder over the week... well, over the past few weeks, really.

With that said, you all enjoy this thought, and have a good weekend... on purpose.


As I get older, there is one thing that I notice about myself:

I have developed a strange fascination with words.

I look them up. I think much about them.

Words mean a lot.

They can start wars. They can express love.

They can be the life or the death of us.

Everything starts with words. Words make the world go around.

Changing one letter in a word can even change the meaning of the word... drastically.

A most interesting example....

Bitter.

Change one letter and it becomes the word:

Better.

Simply changing one letter in the word changed it from something negative to something positive.

Little things like that fascinate me. It may be because I'm getting older.

It may be more than that. I feel myself changing. Certain things, the hard things that I don't care to face, are becoming more important to me.

With that said, I've been thinking about something I read in my last devotional book, a book by Joyce Meyer entitled Woman to Woman: Candid Conversations from Me to You.

I like Joyce Meyer. She has written over 50 books, and a couple of them really dig deep into some of her personal problems of the past, like sexual abuse. It amazes me that she can be so candid and forthright about things like that. But I suppose she does that because that is her gift and calling: to reach out to women that have issues in their past that are haunting them.

This book wasn't as heavy as those, but it was pretty candid. Serenity and I barreled through those 81 chapters. They weren't long- only 2 to 3 pages- but they gave me a lot to think about. I've even posted a few quotes as thoughts of the day here on the blog.

But I read something in chapter 60 that has REALLY stuck with me.

"Instead of getting bitter about the things we go through , we can recognize these times of testing as opportunities to become better. When someone does us wrong, we can take that experience and learn what not to do in our relationships with others. Sometimes God uses people in our lives- just like He uses us in the lives of others- to sand off our rough edges.

God doesn't want us to travel through life carrying the weight of the pains of our past. He wants us to be women who enjoy our journey, free of excess baggage. So I encourage you to be smart enough to stop hurting yourself after someone has hurt you. Make the decision to forgive them, and then immediately lean on God for the grace to do it.

Choose today to let every difficult person and situation you encounter make you a better woman instead of a bitter one." (Chapter 60, page 164).

That was profound to me.

I've been working on that for a few years... looking at what I'm bitter about and attempting to use it as a springboard to become better. My edges are so rough that they would amputate your limbs if you got too close... I really want my rough edges to be smooth.

So I spend time now critically thinking of using situations to honestly evaluate myself. It's difficultm and makes for some interestia journalling.

Why did this hurt me?
Why am I crying?
What am I afraid of?
Why has this made me angry?
What does it all mean?
How can I use it to become a better person?

Thought I was doing something unique to LadyLee, something someone has never thought of.... looking at my life situations and thinking of how I can become a better person behind it.

I succeed sometimes.

And sometimes I fail.

Over and over and over again.

There are things I am bitter about that haunt me like a ghost in the night.

But reading those few paragraphs in that book cemented it with me:

Keep working on flushing out the bitterness... and become a better woman in the process. Of course it may feel like I'm getting nowhere, like I'm digging the proverbial ditch with a toothpick, but for me to be cognizant and to thinking about it and praying about it, well, that is progress in its own right.

Reading those paragraphs show me that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. They are confirmation that I'm on the right track.

Becoming a better person is a choice. And it's a hard choice to make.

But it is one that I, LadyLee, have mustered the courage to make.

And make it, I will.