Post 40: Final Thoughts. Potpourri.

This is the last day.

This is the last day of this decade of my life.

Tomorrow, as I turn 40, I enter a new decade of my life. I turn the page in my book to a new page, a new chapter.

I turn 40.

Hmm… don’t you expect angels to bust out sanging or something?

LOL. No, that’s just all amazing to me. Me and LadyTee were talking about it yesterday. We were JUST in high school. Now we’re in our 40s?

We were amazed by that.

And as I look back over the past decade, I’m amazed by all the changes in my life. The past decade, my 30s, has been a time when I developed my beliefs and my heart. It is a time also when I became settled in my ways.

And as I looked back on the my “40 in 40” food-for-thought bonanza, extravaganza blowout, I think… Wow… I see a whole layout of what I think about…

What resides in my heart.

You don’t get to see much of that around these parts. The House of LadyLee is only 5% food for thought. It is solely meant for me to massage and develop that crazy silly smurfy area of my personality.

You’ve seen more of the private side of me.

More Alesia than LadyLee.

More Dr. Parker than LadyLee.

These are thoughts buried deep within the pages of the coffers of my personal tomes. Much of the subject matter came from a quick flip through those pages, something catching my eye that I spent so much time writing about.

I’ve seen places where I’ve matured. And I’ve seen places where there is room for growth. I’ve seen things I need to change.

I guess the operative words here are… I’ve seen.

I’ve seen much of who I am: what hurts, what confuses, what angers, what frustrates, what soothes, what relieves, what gives hope.

And I only got around to about 70% of what I wanted to cover.

This lets me know one thing: I have a wonderfully rich and colorful life.

No, it’s not a life that everyone longs to have. It is mine. It is unique. It is uniquely mine.

So, with that said… would you like to know some of the topics I wanted to write on, but didn’t make the cut, or I ran out of time. Here’s a quick rundown of some of the topics:

“The Love Post” – I wanted to write a post on what I thought about love. A hard post to write well enough to express my feelings. But an Oldgirl thinks much about love.

“Character is who you are when no one is looking”

“Sometimes it’s not the Enemy, it’s “Inner Me” that’s the problem”

“The Mystery of Strongholds”- I didn’t include that one because it would be too LONG. But it will get posted. It’s worth posting. This is one of Serenity23’s areas of interest and expertise. It is an area that I shun. I heard an exceptional sermon on it that cleared up the mystery behind it for me. But like I said, it was toooo long, even for me. But it will get posted in the future.

“Things I don’t Like, Part II” - I’ve often heard the comment, more in the past but not as much as I am older, “Oh, you wouldn’t understand, because you’re not a single mother, you don’t have a family” with and in the context of how easy my life is. Bothered me more as a younger person in my 20s than now. I don’t apologize for NOT being a single mother. If the pregnancy tests woulda came back positve, I would've had a load of kids of all ages. I wanted to write about that, but didn’t. It wasn't an angry thing. I just have to get over it when someone says that. Just mature up, shake it off, you know.

“My thoughts on Lupus” – wanted to post that, but didn’t. Most of ya’ll wouldn’t have known I had it if Southern Black Gal hadn’t requested a post on my “chronic illness”. So I didn’t want to talk about it again. I mention it here and there, but that’s about it.

“My Mother’s affect on my Life” – That topic is like lupus to me. So I left that out. I’ve talked about that much if you’ve read over the years. Know that I love my mother. I wish we had a relationship. But it is what it is. And I mourn that.

“One thing that Makes me shake my Fist at God” – Oh don’t look at me with that tone of voice. Stop getting all religious on me. I fail at religiosity. We all have that “one thing”. (Don't act. Please.) For me it’s when a woman loses her mother, and she was close to her mother. Makes me want to go outside and light a Molatav cocktail and toss that sucker as hard as I can at the sky, hoping it will reach heaven. Just hurts my heart so bad. BUT, I recognize God is not to blame for these things. I just be mad about it, that’s all. I am glad He don’t hold that against me and consoles me concerning it and gives me peace on it. That’s a good thing.

I was also going to post a couple of story excerpts. Ms. Blackliterature.com always loves those. She’ll be alright. She just had a new baby boy on the first of the month. I’m sure she don’t have time to read. Congrats, girl! I’m mailing lil’ Jacob’s blanket this morning.

There were a few more topics. But they were too complicated. Too doggone deep. I have to mull over those in my journals for awhile.

Like I said, you only saw the tip of the iceberg of LadyLee. Not even the tip. That was the frosty mist that emits from the iceberg.

With these 40 posts, I didn’t even take it deep. Could’ve went deeper and deeper.

I would like to thank you all for reading, even the lurking lurkers. You should’ve commented, as there were prizes at hand. You can’t beat free stuff. I wanted to give away something for MY birthday.

And I already know the winners, as I have this elaborate written chart of commenters on posts. So that is all closed down for now. That announcement will be up after I return from the Dominican Republic, no later than President’s day.

Like I said, thank you for reading. You should thank the House of LadyLee Food-for-Thought Gatekeeper Serenity23 for that, as she is the one who blows the whistle for me to post up more serious blog fodder. (She can’t stand too much of my smurfiness).

I will most definitely post on the topics above in the future…

These posts have been brought to you by That Original Oldgirl... LadyLee.

Specially dedicated to the Platinum Card Carryin' Original Oldgirls and Oldboy. Thanks for your influence on my life. All of ya'll's have helped me see life in a different way.

The last 40 days have been a glimpse into my life. A look at what I think about when it is quiet, and no one is looking, and there’s no one to impress. (Well, I don't get over into impressing folks, but you know hat I mean.

My life is unique.

It is unlike any other’s life before mine, or to come.
It is uniquely mine.

Thank you for allowing me to share a part of me with you for the past 40 days… I see that you got much from it.

So did I. It has been a springboard into a wonderfully unique future.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s birthday post.