Post 35; Vision Board Personal Statement, Part 9

Hark!

'Tis the first day of February!

7 days 'til my Star Date: 2.7.10.

Just a few more posts to go before we get to #40, hunh?

My oh my, time flies when you're having fun...

Well, these posts aren't "fun", per say... just introspective. Some is good for my heart. Some is just downright painful. All of it is necessary.

It's my act of respect for being given 40 years of this thing here called... life.

So with that said, I'll continue looking closely at my personal vision statement. As always, the part of discussion for the present post is highlighted in green.

"I am 100% healthy in my body, soul, and spirit. I acknowledge God in all my ways, and I seek Him before I make any decisions, big or small. I am a blessing to my family and to those that God sends across my path. I am an incredible asset to my friends. I am a good listener. I am an excellent employee, and I not only work hard, but I work smart. I take time to periodically evaluate myself, and I make changes accordingly. I stick and hold fast to the path God has charted out for my life. I accept and openly welcome constructive criticism, as I know it will help me become "a better me". I am a good steward, a fine manager over the finances He has blessed me with, to the point that God knows He can trust me."

Paths.

If you notice, I talk much about paths.

Because let's face it: nothing in life is instantaneous. If so, it is rare.

Everything in life is set in motion with a thought. Everything.

Wars, relationships, friendships, careers, vacations, love, hate, crime- everything- begins with a thought.

And then a path opens up.

And we set out on the good path. Or hopefully stay off those bad paths.

Paths lead somewhere.

Nothing just happens.

Nothing.

And would we want it any other way?

I wouldn't.

Should it be any other way?

Nope. Especially when it comes to spiritual matters.

For you see, I think of this often: what would happen if everything I prayed for happened instantaneously? Yeah, yeah I know I want that. Me and impatient self. I want everything right now.

But what would happen if there was no process involved, no "path"?

I tell you what would happen: There would be no personal growth. More specifically, there would be no opportunity for my faith in God to grow. No opportunities for me to grow in maturity, to grow in trust... No opportunity for me to help other people. Nothing.

So even though I'm impatient, I can appreciate the purposes of the paths of my life. I've stomped down some pretty bad ones, and ended up in some bad places. Those paths cater to my own pleasures and selfishness. Period.

I've walked faithfully down some good ones, and ended up in the desired place.

I am more interested for the purposes of this post in the paths that open up as a result of my prayers. Those are paths planned and charted out by God.

For this is how things work for me: I pray about things, and stuff immediately begins to happen. No, in the majority of cases, the prayer is not immediately answered.

But God does something with me: He likes to kill 50 birds with one stone.

So a path opens up. And I realize, it ain't about getting to the desired destination that's important, but allll the stuff that happens along the journey to said destination are of equal, if not higher importance.

There's a tunnel. And I got tunnel vision like no other. But there are a myriad of interesting stops along the tunnel. And they are necessary when looking at the whole journey.

Because you see, the journey to there, albeit straight or curvy, is littered with people, places and things, all of which are placed intentionally to:

1. Help me grow in some fashion- in wisdom, in patience, in love, in honesty, and whatever else.

2. To work out the many kinks in my heart, i.e., bad habits, bad attitudes.

3. To affect the lives of others.

4. To develop my faith, trust and confidence in God.

And I'm sure there are many other intentions. But I think that basically covers it all.

Knowing this really irradicates any stank attitudes I would have. One thing I don't like to see in myself, and in others (but I see all the time), is when we get all pissed at God because He didn't answer a prayer.

You mean to tell me allllll that He has done for us, and we have the nerve and the gall to get mad at Him because He don't jump when we say jump?

Wow. Just wow. I catch myself in this, very rarely as I get older, and it stuns me.

But He is all knowing, and knows the proper way of dealing with things, and sends us on a path.

So those are my thoughts on path and why I think about the "path" so much.

A walk down a path occurs over some unspecified length of time. And I am always fascinated with my walk on my own path, and other's walks on their own.

I recognize it and am thankful for it.

"I stick and hold fast to the path God has charted out for my life."

Now, the most interesting words in that sentence occur early on: "stick and hold fast to the path".

One of my issues is that I need to work on sticking and holding fast to the path.

I tend to be a bit trifling. One thing I really dislike about myself is my inconsistency. I am a terribly inconsistent person.

For I'm the type, yeah, I'm on a path, but I tend to see something off on the side of the path, and I stop walking to observe, i.e, I get distracted. At times, I've been like a drunk woman who's fallen off the path into some bush, and someone has had to come along and throw some rocks at me, or grab my foot and drag me out. I've turned around and walked the wrong way on the path. I've been angry at God, and I've set a bomb on the path, and blown it up.

I've done all kinds of mess.
And that disturbs me.

The older I get, I understand that I need to stick and hold fast to the plan, man. Keep moving forward. If I'm operating in unbelief, I need to work on that. If I'm mad with God, I need to go head on work on it. If I keep looking in the rear view mirror at the failures of my past, I need to work on that!

For the very act of being cognizant and working on my issues, well, that constitutes me sticking and holding fast to the path. That is a testament of my faith, no matter how small and insignificant it may be or feel.

That is the essence of what that sentence of that vision statement means to me and my heart.

I, LadyLee, stays on the right path. No matter what.

Whether stopping, slowing down, or running full speed ahead, stick and hold fast to the path.

I ain't there yet.

But the thermostat is set.

An Oldgirl is getting more consistent. I'm understanding the plan and purposes of the path. I'm getting better at evaluating myself and making the necessary corrections.

And with faith, I will reach that goal soon enough. I truly believe that.