Post 34: Faith and Feelings

I must admit...

Not only to you, but moreso to myself...

That my faith is not always where it should be.

And I don't feel bad about that.

I am woman enough to admit that, and not hide from it.

Because let's face it... is anyone out there operating in 100% faith?

No.

That's because faith is like a muscle: it's always in the process of being built. And if it's not being built up, it's probably weakening.

I'm always building up in my faith. But situations in life come along where I must stir up my faith and then execute.

I learned something very interesting from blogger That Southern Black Gal a while back in a short email convo: I may want something, but my faith has to catch up. My faith has to get to the point where I will step out.

My faith is always being tested. It's always being proved. It's always being built up.

I can see that's the case, as confirmed by Hebrews 12:2

(AMP) Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection].

My faith is alway being brought to maturity. It is constantly being perfected.

And I gotta remember that, man!

And I think about that often. Where is my faith concerning this situation I'm facing? I need to at least have the courage to admit when I know my faith is not ready to take on a situation. Then I need to have more courage to sit down and figure out what to do to increase my faith.

I do relalize that my faith is always being thrown through a bunch of filters: my logic, my experiences, what Oprah said, what the media said, what Dr. Phil said, what they say on Twitter, on the Facebook, on the blogs, and everywhere else, even all the junk I feed my soul on a daily basis...

Before I get to what God says...

For I always hear 2 Corinthians 5:7 shouted with glee...

"For we walk by faith, not by sight!"

But it takes a minute to get there. Well, I don't know about you, but for me it does.

The amplified version of that verse presents a more stoic view of faith:

2 Corinthians 5:7 (Amplified) For we walk by faith [we regulate our lives and conduct ourselves by our conviction or belief respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, with trust and holy fervor; thus we walk] not by sight or appearance.

That means to me that I live and conduct my life by my trust and belief in God, not by my trust and belief in my circumstances.

I trust God! Not what this situaion says!

It takes a moment though, to be able to shout THAT from the hills.

Hebrews 11:1 gives the biblical definition of faith:

(KJV) Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

(AMP) NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].

Hmmm...

The last part of that amplified verse catches my eye.

Faith perceives as real fact what is not revealed to the senses.

Faith moves beyond what I say, see, touch, smell or hear concerning the situation.

And it confirms what I learned a long time ago, and I'm STILL trying to get a grip on.

My faith MUST go past my feelings.

My faith MUST go past alllll the question marks.

I'm finding, when looking back on my life experiences, that nothing happened while I was considering the matter, and all muddled in my feelings.

It's when I make a quality decision to leave all that behind, and decide to grasp hold of my faith and move forward that I see things begin to happen...

It's when I stop asking all the questions, and sarcastically questioning God on the matter that things start to move.

Until then, my feet stay stuck in the thick sticky mud of my feelings...

And I move nowhere fast.

Move nowhere in my head.

Move nowhere in my heart.

Move nowhere in my life.

Move nowhere in my reliance and trust in God.

(Sounds a little like that ol' reciprocal of faith to me: fear).

My faith. It must go past my fear tinged feelings.

My faith. It must go past all the skeptical questions...

For it is nothing that I can figure out with my feelings, with my logical mind.

That's the only way it will build up, become strong.

That's the only way I can carry on.