Post 26: Vision Board Personal Statement, Part 7

We still rockin' it, rockin' it.

Stomping hard up the path like Miss Sophia...

Getting closer and closer to that goal of 40 posts in 40 days, a little gift I'm giving to myself for my upcoming 40th birthday...

You know, it looks as if I could do about 60 posts. But I won't do that. I have a limitied amount of choices as to what I can write about before I run out of days. So, the hard thing now is picking and grouping posts together right. It is a more arduous task than I anticipated, just doing that much.

But writing about things comes easy for me.

And exploring the details of my personal vision statement is central to this "40 in 40" food-for-thought blowout bonanza extravaganza.

So we will roll on with that...

As always, the part highlighted in green is what's important today.

"I am 100% healthy in my body, soul, and spirit. I acknowledge God in all my ways, and I seek Him before I make any decisions, big or small. I am a blessing to my family and to those that God sends across my path. I am an incredible asset to my friends. I am a good listener. I am an excellent employee, and I not only work hard, but I work smart. I take time to periodically evaluate myself, and I make changes accordingly. I stick and hold fast to the path God has charted out for my life. I accept and openly welcome constructive criticism, as I know it will help me become "a better me". I am a good steward, a fine manager over the finances He has blessed me with, to the point that God knows He can trust me."

"I am an excellent employee, and I not only work hard, but I work smart."

This is a part of the statement that I have to meditate on and really get well developed in believing about myself.

I've always considered myself a good employee. I always work hard. But I don't particularly work smart. But I'm a hard worker.

I don't particularly think management thinks this though. There's a particular element of uh, brownnosing that goes along with considered an "excellent employee".

So in that respect, I'm not an excellent employee.

I don't fare all too well in political and illegitimate work environments, where honesty and integrity are frowned upon.

This is why I feel that that part of my vision statement is very much self-contained. I have to evaluate myself on the type of worker I am. For my employer to evaluate me, well, it's all tainted.

I heard something in a sermon awhile ago that struck me enough to the point that I remember it, and think of it often. I take the time to apply it to my life on a daily basis.

Take a little time to evaluate yourself each evening, during your quiet time. If you messed up that day, take time to admit to yourself and to God that you did. Same thing if you were lazy, or mean, or if you had a good day. Take time to think about it and be honest with yourself and God, think about how and what you can do to do things differently, if you can expand and build on what went right, etc.

I try to do this concerning work. And I when I do this, things go pretty well. I am a lot less stressed, less depressed.

And I must admit there are times when I let this slip. I get discombobulated and depressed.

The biggest difference between being vigilant and letting things slip is that one involves trusting in God and another involes allowing the circumstances to dictate my feelings and emotions and the way I handle myself.

I'll let you decide which one is connected to which.

When I am having a difficult time at work, I think back to an interview I had some five years ago, for a promotion. I don't think much of these opportunities, as management tends to make decisions beforehand. We all know who the promotion is written for, etc.

I didn't get the promotion, and this black woman who was on the panel called me into her office. She explained how stellar my credentials were, and how she fought for me. She needed to know what was going on upstairs. I told her, peeps were sleeping together, and I can't really get around that. While she was talking, I was still trying to figure out how I'm suppose to get around management sleeping around, but that's neither here or there.

She gave me a long talk about my career. I gave her a long talk about how God takes care of me, and I want what He gives me, and I want it on the basis of merit. Let no man say I got something due to ulterior motive or because my boss was sleeping with someone higher up. I mean, a measly $10,000 raise ain't worth my integrity.

I told her, I have a "Dr." on the front of my name. Uh, no one in management does. Get at me when they go through the fire to get the title. Holla at me when you earn that.

Oh, we had a good lonnnng talk. I think we even talked about my love for writing. That's my true calling, you see. To communicate with the written word. I told her, this here is a job. It pays the bills. Don't get the two confused.

(I ain't a talkative chick, but I had much on my mind that day.)

I think back on that talk when I get the notion to feel bad about my work habits. And the bad feeling comes from outside, not within. I am an great employee with stellar credentials. I have more good days than bad. Many more.

And I must now, stay even-minded... and remember the spirit of that talk.

I believe what I believe about myself employee-wise. I am a great employee. Now, the fact that I don't bend to strange managerial tricks and games, well, that's up for managerial peeps to decide. That fact that I can sit down and evaluate myself truthfully and honesty is everything to me right now.

I'ma be me. And I have gotten back to the core of what's real.

My best friend always tell me, "Listen, I don't let peeps on the job bother me. I work for God. As long as I know that, then whatever, man."

(Yeah, LadyTee knows how to word things where I can understand them, lol).

Getting to the core of what's real, and what's right is essential.

You know, I was spatting off something terrible back in the last quarter of the year because I was so overworked. My boss was tripping. I was behind. And it wasn't my fault, really. We lost half our group to vacation, and the work was still coming in. And I let it stress me out and depress me.

And along came a new reader who wanted me to post up my notes on depression. Not something I cared to do, but I knew I had to deal with it in terms of my job situation. It was a path to an open door to some type of solution... it got me back to that essential daily evaluation and tweaking of how I deal with things...

So I am thankful to you, Ms. Jennifer... you helped me more than you know. I am thankful you stepped across my life's path.

I've been back to evaluating myself... and it always comes back to not so much as working hard, but working smart. It comes back to being pleased with my workday, and to know that I did a good job before God. And if I have to humble myself and make the necessary adjustments, then I need to be faithful and do that. Period. For that is the key to keeping myself out of depression, and out of bewilderment.

That, and trusting in God.

I am an excellent employee.

I will continue to build on, and believe that about myself.

And I must keep that in mind, hold it close to my heart, no matter how I feel about the job.