Post 14: On Life and Resources

(This is a repost from my guest spot from one of my favorite blogs, Terry's Cheap Seats. It's one that has shaped me, and is continuing to shape me. It was posted on his site on September 19, 2008. It has stayed on my mind, as I've been pondering it much lately.)

Terry asked me to write a little something for his blog today.

'Tis such an honor for him to trust me like that. I had no idea what I would write that could be worthy of The Cheap Seats. His blog is one of the truest and brutally honest blogs I know of.

*LadyLee raises one of Terry’s prized cigars to her mouth, lights it, takes a long draw… and coughs up a lung. Lady Lee frowns and gingerly places cigar on the edge of Terry's platinum and gold ash tray*

I could never be Terry. I can only be LadyLee.

And I wanted to give you a little something to ponder for the weekend.

So we will see how this goes...

I live near downtown Atlanta. As a matter of fact, if I walk to the top of my street, stand on my tippy-toes and peer past the large oak trees, I can see the beautiful Atlanta skyline.

As with most Atlanta inner city neighborhoods, my neighborhood is one that is undergoing gentrification. Newly constructed homes stand tall next to dilapidated homes. Professionals live on the same streets that the squatters grew up on and roam.

So you can imagine, I, being what’s considered an invading professional, have met many interesting people. If you’ve read my blog over the years, I’ve posted quite amusing tales concerning my interactions with prostitutes, crackheads, and the like.

One of the most interesting people I’ve met is a local by the name of “Snake”. His government name is Derrick, but I didn’t know that until long after I’d first met him. I prefer to call him by his sinister street name.

He is 50 years old. He has children and grandchildren. He is rather articulate, and will not hesitate to run up in our yards and school us on various aspects of proper “hood etiquette.”

He is the Official Poet Laureate of my LadyLee blog, as he has provided interesting poetry for posting there. He was very happy for the outlet. I was very happy that I didn't have to create a post of my own that day.

He does not hold a steady job. He makes his money by doing odd jobs like raking leaves and washing cars. He’s even been known to knock on your front door and straight out ask for a dollar or two. He takes that money, and goes around the corner somewhere, and buys crack.

He’s a “victim” of sorts. A victim of the drug culture that flows rampart in the inner city neighborhoods.

I only see him every once in a while these days, when on my way to and fro. He stands in the middle of the street, yells “LadyLee!”, and gives a hearty wave. I shout his name, and give him the same greeting, secretly hoping that he doesn’t come my way, begging for a dollar or two.

I spoke to a neighbor about him. He was the main homeowner on our street who employed Snake for odd jobs. I wondered aloud how Snake had been faring. My neighbor rolled his eyes.

“LadyLee, I gave Snake a job. A nice job on one of my work sites. I’d pick him up, take him there, and even made sure he got home. Even made sure he had something to eat and all. He’s a great guy, real skillful and all, but I had to let him go.

“Why?” I asked.

“My people said he wouldn’t work. Said he’d beg for money, and would sometimes disappear for hours.”

“That’s a shame,” I said.

“I tried to help him and give him opportunities, but it didn’t pan out,” my neighbor said. He sighed hard. I could tell he was a bit disappointed.

We sat together on his porch in the rocking chairs, enjoying the gentle breeze, chit chatting awhile about work and life.

As I walked back across the street to my own house, I thought about Snake.

And how he had practically squandered his resources. Funny how opportunity can be laid at one's feet, and then simply kicked away like it was street litter.

Now, it’s easy to look at a substance abuser and shake one's head. I know I have done it too many times to count. Snake had help. He's probably had plenty of help over the years. Why couldn’t he just stop that crap and do what he had to do?

Terry broke down the gist of this behavior, the very reason why, in his "Mirrors" post yesterday [posted September 18, 2008]:

“We all hold on to the world we create. Latching on to familiar things and resting our hopes in familiar people. But in the end, we are all just collecting on the fringe, taking stock in toxic behavior and unhealthy people. All because we are comfortable.”

Hmm…

There’s an old saying that I often think of…

“When you point a finger at someone, three more (your own) are pointing back at you.”

I like others, am quick to point the finger. I've noticed with myself, over the past several years, I have a tendency to examine myself in the light of my fellow man's shortcomings.

And I ask myself the following question:

Have I myself been utilizing my resources to the full extent?

The answer, I sadly admit, is. . . No.

I have areas in my life that need to be adjusted. Stormy areas where I need to be proactive, instead of standing there in the midst of all, with the *blank stare*.

I, like those who believe in God, or a higher being, pray for help and answers.

Then I wait.

I know in those areas, over the years, resources abound. Some come and go. But all in all, the resources are there. And I hate to admit it, but I choose to look the other way.

There are many reasons for such.

Excuses. (Excuses are nails used to build the House of Failure).
Fear.
Memories of the past, especially failures.

A real old nagging reason, one I am terribly guilty of... laziness.

There's an interesting Bible verse that indirectly speaks to the laziness connected with utilizing resources...

Proverbs 19:24 (Message Translation) "Some people dig a fork into a pie, but are too lazy to raise it to their mouth."

One last reason I can think of, one related to what Terry said so eloquently in his latest post:

Comfort

There are plenty more. Plenty.

I think, since I heard of how my neighbor tried to help Snake, more about myself and my own resources. In my own personal issues, I not only list and explore my issues and concerns, I’m also starting to become very clear about the resources connected to them, resources that could lead me out of the situations.

And I am beginning to get honest with myself to evaluate whether I am utilizing my resources to the full extent.

And I found something very interesting:

1. I am thoroughly convinced that the resources we so desperately need and long for are around us. They're just sometimes not wrapped in the pretty little packages we think they should be in.

2. One resource, probably the most unlikely one, could be the very key to what gets us motivated to go forward.

3. One resource can open the door to more useful resources.

4. Utilizing our resources may constitute change. Change will often cost us something, most notably, our personal comforts. It may cause us to face our fears.

So I ask you today, when pondering that one (or two, or ten) goal or desire you've had for months or years even, but just can't seem to make a go of it and be successful at accomplishing...

Are you utilizing all of your related resources to the fullest extent?

If not, get busy.

You never know. One of the resources may lead you down the road to the victory you so earnestly seek.

Erase yourself from the “victim” column. Work on becoming a “victor”.

Just my view from the nosebleed section of life.

My view, that is, from Terry's Cheap Seats.

Have a nice weekend, from LadyLee... The Original Oldgirl.