Friday, January 29, 2010

Post 32: Judgmental

JUDGMENTAL

Such a harsh word, ain't it?

And I ain't gonna even bother to look it up. All kinds of images and thoughts flood my mind when I see that word.

For we all know what it means. To me, it means the act of pondering people, places, and situations and making decisions about how you view them, and what they mean to your life. Making decisions that these things are either good or detrimental to your life.

Sometimes being judgmental can go astray. It can get a bit off, where we constantly make assessments of people, whether they are good enough or don't measure up. Yeah, that's an assessment that we all make, but for some reason, we tend to project all that.

Well, I don't know about you, but that's the case with me. And I've been on both sides of that stick.

I'm rendered good enough.

Or, I don't measure up.

Neither should have anything to do with how I feel about myself.

But they do.

And I'm learning, as I get older one thing: it ain't what other's think of you, but what you think of yourself that's important.

So if I'm judged on the negative tip, so be it. As I always say, if I don't measure up, if I ain't good enough for you, or if I'm a detriment in your life, RUN from me. And I mean RUN FAST.

'Cuz who needs that?

Really.

I think our society teaches us to be judgmental. You see it all throughout out media -film, music, books, everything.
We are constantly judging.

But when I think of being judgemental, I always find myself going back and reading the first part of Romans, chapter 2. Let's just say... NOBODY ever mentions this part. I've heard chapter 1 a lot, as it is constantly used by Evangelicals to denounce hom.o.sex.ua.lity, but they don't follow it up with the next chapter.

I came across this verse some 10 years ago, and only heard it mentioned recently. I like finding biblical truths on my own. It sticks with me, especially the part I highlighted in red.

Romans 2: 1-4 (Message)Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done. You didn't think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract God from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? Or did you think that because he's such a nice God, he'd let you off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but he's not soft. In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change.

I like that message version. It is a straight up hard and swift kick in the teeth.

It seems that having a judgmental mindset denotes one thing: I'm not dealing with my own mess.

Period.

And that ain't good.

For if I spend time earnestly dealing with what's going on in my own house (my heart and life), I ain't got time to be worried about what's going on in someone else's house.

Really.

Keep things in perspective here. You know what I'm talking about. That constant judging of people, got a problem with anybody and everybody. That "turning up the nose at everybody" type of thing.

Just judgmental as all get-out.

And I'm also talking about that ol' subtle stuff we do, too.

You know what I'm talking about.

I have this issue just like everybody else. I can definitely tell as I've gotten older, I've matured. People are who they are, and it is wrong for me to think everyone should measure up to this almost impossible standard I've set up, and vice-versa.

We should be working hard on meeting the standards we set for others.... working hard on meeting those standards our ownselves.

Yeah. It's painful to look at oneself and judge oneself. It's a very solitary act.

But I do it everyday. With Romans 2 in mind.
And it turns the inner thermostat setting from "selfishness" to "selflessness".

There's no time to worry about what others are doing. And the only time that is right is when I can ask the question "Can I be helpful in this situation? Can I judge the situation, and offer some sense of help and encouragement of some sort to help it move in a bettter direction?"

Other than that, I'm probably being judgmental because I'm procrastinating in dealing with my own problems. I'm learning to face that, and learning to deal with it expediently.

An unorthodox way of looking at things, I suppose. But let's face it, anything that goes against the grain of our popular culture is just that... unorthodox.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. Really.

5 comments:

  1. It was my kids who taught me about being judgmental. They would say, "Why you always hatin', ma?" I didn't realize I was "hatin'" but everytime I opened my mouth with some negative comment about someone that is exactly what I was doing.

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  2. i think society does make it easier to be judgmental...but now if i feel the urge i remind myself that i will be judge according to the manner in which i am judging..plus we never know what another's circumstance is..

    i would hate for someone to judge me cuz i send my child to school in Michael Jackson style flooding uniform pants

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  3. The Green Eyed Bandit7:47:00 PM

    When I think about it, we are always judging and deciding if something is good or bad. I agree we need to make sure we are have our house in order. In most times, it is not.

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  4. The quote "why you point your finger at someone, 4 fingers are pointing right back at one" is so very true.

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  5. The message version - "Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself." made me think of the same quotation Thoughts of a Southern gal mentioned! Love the way that message version breaks the scripture down. I totally agree with your summary as well! We all judge, but if you a full-time judge with everything but the white wig & black robe, you're basically hiding from yourself. And I love the idea that the only time we should be deep up into other's business is when we are asking desiring to be of service. Love. It. *And* I had no idea those 1st 2 chapters of Romans flowed like that. Really cool how you pointed out folks quoting verse 1 but not 2. Lol.

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Slap the *crickets* out the way, kindly step up to the mike, and SAY something!!