Post 15: Envy? NOT! (Part I)

I need to find a way to get back on track with posting early in the mornings.

Maybe I can get back on track this weekend. We will see.

But I will be posting once a day... 40 posts in the 40 days leading up to my birthday!

Giving you a little look behind the window blinds of the mind of LadyLee...

So come with me...

Take my hand...

Sit down at my table. Have a little food... a little food for thought, that is.

This is a repost of sorts, a piece of scripture I posted back in 2005. As a matter of fact, It was the subject of my very first food for thought post.

My big blog brutha Hassan posted a whole chapter of Psalms a few months ago. I was taken aback by how strong of a passage it was, almost to the point that it was full of life. I have no idea what was going through his mind when he posted it, but I had this image of him in my mind of him standing atop his truck screaming the words of that Psalm at the top of his lungs.

Me and you must have a talk about that, Hassan. Really.

Anyway, I must say that I haven't been the biggest fan of the book of Psalms. I remember groaning and thinking it was so doggone repetitive.

Then I understood the voice behind the Word. And I learned from it.

You got some WAILING folks up in Psalms... mostly David wailing down.

But at the end of the wailing and pain and complaining... there was always thanksgiving. Always some recitation of what God had done, if not for the speaker, for their ancestors.

As a result of this, I realized that it is okay that I wail to God about the situation, for this is all a part of me presenting petitions, making supplication, you see.

But you BEST believe I follow it up with twice as much thanksgiving, and reciting of the lonnng laundry list of blessings and breakthroughs of my past...

We ALL have something to be thankful for.

So as a result, let's just say, I don't groan about the book of Psalms anymore. For I learned something very special from it... and I am sure I will continue to learn even more.

With that said, I wanted to post a chapter of Psalms very close to my heart. I happened to be reading my bible some 10 years ago, and came across this chapter of Psalms.

It made an Oldgirl say "Whooooaaaa!"

I imagine I'd been going through something, where I was looking at people and their lives, and looking at my own, and feeling something interesting: envy.

Envy is an interesting word.

And you know me. I'm not the most learned Oldgirl in the world, so I have to go look it up.

Envy: a feeling of mortification or discontent excited by seeing the superiority or prosperity of another person; desire for the possessions or advantages of another; ill will combined with jealousy.

That is a strong emotion. Correction: that is a strong negative emotion.

But I must admit, I use to possess that emotion. At least vestiges of such.

But I didn't fully understand it.

Until I read the following Psalm.

Psalms 73 (Message Version)

No doubt about it! God is good—good to good people, good to the good-hearted.
But I nearly missed it, missed seeing His goodness.
I was looking the other way, looking up to people at the top, envying the wicked who have it made, who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world.

Pretentious with arrogance, they wear the latest fashions of violence,
Pampered and overfed, decked out in silk bows of silliness.
They jeer, using words to kill; they bully their way with words.
They’re full of hot air, loudmouths disturbing the peace.
People actually listen to them—Can you believe it?
Like thirsty puppies, they lap up their words.

What’s going on here? Is God out to lunch?
Nobody’s tending the store.
The wicked get by with everything; they have it made, piling up riches.
I’ve been stupid to play by the rules; what has it gotten me?
A long run of bad luck, that’s what—a slap in the face every time I walk out the door.

If I’d given in and talked like this, I would have betrayed your dear children.
Still, when I tried to figure it out, all I got was a splitting headache…
Until I entered the sanctuary of God.
Then I saw the whole picture.
The slippery road you’ve put them on, with a final crash in a ditch of delusions.
In the blink of an eye, disaster!
A blind curve in the dark, and—nightmare!

When I was beleaguered and bitter, totally consumed with envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox in your presence.
I’m still in your presence, but you’ve taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me, and then bless me.
You’re all I want in heaven!
You’re all I want to earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful.
Look! Those who left you are falling apart!
Deserter, they’ll never be heard from again.
But I’m in the very presence of God—oh, how refreshing it is!
I’ve made Lord God my home.
God , I’m telling the world what you do!


That's a strong piece of scripture there. And you see how it ended. On a good positive note, soaked in Thanksgiving.

I've had my fair share of screaming "Where are you God? Are you out to lunch???"

Especially when it look like suckas was getting away with everything under the sun.

I don't know about you, but I see this EVERY single day.

Do I envy? No.

Should I envy? NO.

That verse of scripture comes to mind whenever I feel envious. It is an emotion that must be kept in check. And when I feel the vapors of envy rising in my heart, I pause and take stock, and think of why I'm envious.

But apparently, back then, when I was a young buck of only 29 or 30 years old, the residue of envy still resided in the dark corners of my mind...

When they say God looks at the heart of man? I do understand.

Let's just say...

Something happened to put envy in my heart to rest... for good.

And it stopped me cold... it removed even the mere thought of envy from my heart.

(To be continued)