Kentucky Funnies, Part II" "Corn and Cheese"

My sister Kentucky continues to crack me up.

Every single time I talk to her.

Yesterday she called me about a problem she was having. We discussed it. We felt okay about the solutions.

Then we were talking about other things going on in our lives. I like to ask her about her hobbies, and how that is going.

She has a most interesting hobby: scouting out estate sales. She loves those things. I myself have only gone to one, back in 1991, back when I was in grad school. I bought a sofa, a rocker chair, a kitchen table, a couple chairs for that kitchen table and some plates for $75.

I kept that for about 4 years. So I know they are good places to find bargains.

And this has been my sister's hobby for the last couple of years.

And I celebrate it. She has had to hear my LOUD rants, when she tells me of how some of her friends don't approve of her hobby.

"Look here, gal," I holler. "If you decide to go outside and write "Kentucky" in black chalk up and down my driveway, so be it. If that's your hobby, be happy about it. Bump them chicks! I'ma be happy that you found something that you enjoyed doing!"

"Forget them!" I continue. "Their hobby is clubbing!! They just mad cuz you different!"

HUMPH!

I have an issue with people looking at someone else's hobby and giving them grief over it, and getting a funky attitude because you don't like to do what they like to do. I may not agree with it, this hobby of yours. (I will silently look at Kentucky like she crazy if she start writing on my driveway), but doggonit, do YOU. Enjoy yourself!

Just because I like something a little different from you, or different from the crowd, that doesn't make anything wrong with it.

*lee cartwheels down off of soapbox*

With that said, we had an interesting estate sale convo last night.

"Hey man," I said. "I need a leaf blower. You ever see those at the estate sales?"

"Yes," she said flatly.

"Well if you see one, can you get if for me?"

"Yes, I'll look out for one."

She goes on to talk about the website, estatesales.net, that she likes to go to to find estate sales in the area. She even likes and dislikes different companies that specialize in setting up and running the estate sales, and how she bases her choices of where she goes on who is running the sale.

"You can go to the webpage and look at the pictures," she said. "And if you see a leaf blower, go to that sale."

"For real? I think I will do that."

We continued discussing this. I loved the excitement in her voice.

"They sometimes have the kitchen groceries for sale, Lisa."

*lee silently holding the phone waiting for the punchline*

"They open up the cabinets," she continued when I didn't say anything, "or place everything on the counter, and you can look through them. You should see them white people. They go through everything."

"They sell the groceries!? For real?"

"Yes Lisa. I bought a can of corn for 10 cents one time."

*lee screaming with laughter*

"It was some good corn," she said. "I ate that corn."

"No way, man! No way!" I said through my laughter. Please tell me that you didn't eat corn bought at an estate sale."


"I sure did," she responded. "It was good corn. I even bought a can of cheese once. That was some good cheese."

*lee laughing XTRA hard. XTRA*

"What's so funny," she said. "You examine the can, and look at the expiration date. That was some good corn and cheese."

"If you say so, man! But ain't no way! Eww!"

Man. It crossed my mind to get my sister a grocery store gift card. I do NOT want her buying corn and cheese at an estate sale. I really don't. But I came to grips real fast that she was just meandering around like all the others looking for good deals, and lo and behold, corn and cheese were great deals.

She went on to say, "And Lisa, you have to go up in there with no emotion on your face at all. It's like you're buying a car. You have to negotiate."

*lee imagining her baby sister negotiating a deal for the cans of corn and cheese*

O_O

*crickets*

We continued talking. (Kentucky is a whiz at ignoring my animated ways. She ignored my laughing.) I need some furniture, and she gave me some tips on what to do.

The most expensive thing she's ever seen at an estate sale is a 10 piece setting of gold lined Presidential china. It was $10,000.

"I'll bust a sucka upside the head if they try to drink out of my cups and drop 'em," I said. "I sho' would!"

She thought that was funny.

"Kentucky, do they sell cars at these things?"

"Yes."

"Well look out for me a Lexus ES300, alright?"

"Okay."

And I'm sure my sister will be on the look out, and let me know if she sees one.

Yes, I am sure she will find me one...

Just like she found those cans of corn and cheese.