Rainy Rainy Monday...

Just pure rain.

That's all I can think about when it comes to today, and to this weekend.

RAIN.

Lots and lots of water from the sky.

I woke up at around 3:45 am in the morning to earth shattering thunder. It's rare to hear thunder that loud, to where it rattles the whole house and shakes me awake.

Very rare.

The first thing I do is look for Oscar-Tyrone, and observe his termperment. He wasn't rattled, so that meant that no tornado or tsunami was coming our way. (Yes, I do believe animals know these things).

And since he was his usual self (staring at me intently, hoping to be rubbed, I suppose), I lay there in the dark, a bit cold due to the ceiling fan being on. I don't feel like going and turning the heat up, so I gather my micromink throw and down comforter a little closer around me, hoping to warm up a little.

And I quietly hope for a better week.

For this week to be a better week than last.

For I've been a bit sick the latter part of the week and during the week, with some lupus flare-ups. This is rare for me. And I don't discuss it. Part of me was expecting it, because of the stress of coming off of vacation and having to get back to my normal routine. Plus I'm suppose to stay out of the sunlight and lately it's been bothering me. Add that with a few other things bothering me lately and I have a bad immune response.

I know for me, my lupus has a strange cognitive component to it: I get terribly moody, edgy and anxious, and I have a hard time concentrating, and my writing starts gettng illegible. I think I start paying attention when it's difficult for me to sign my name. I lose interest in my normal activities and people. My joints ache and I have bad headaches and I can't sleep. Then my appetite is just shot and I have to force myself to eat. I'm dehydrated. And I have NO energy. I was a bit mucousy, which is VERY rare for me.

Let's just say I've pretty much been in the bed since Friday evening.... been a bit horrified at even the mere thought of trying to pull myself together to go and run errands. Luckily, I didn't have anything pressing to do.

And I have a doctor's appointment this morning. I'll probably get scolded about something, like messing up my meds last week or spending too much time in the sun. I'll just lean against the wall and give my doctor the vacant Lil' Lee look.



LOL. She don't like that at all.

I'm hoping for a better week. I don't think I can take being all wiped out. I spent a few months like that back when I was first diagnosed, and ended up doing time in the hospital and having to have blood transfusions. I want NO parts of that. Ever again. There is nothing worse than laying in a hospital bed watching someone eles blood go into your body. All kinds of ish went through my mind seeing that.

Nothing means more to me than being able to take care of myself and to function normally on a day-to-day basis. I don't live the glamorous life, but I have independence, and just being independent, it makes me very rich indeed.

I really don't want to lose that. If I do, I have nothing.

I feel a lot better today. Actually felt better yesterday, as I did a couple of things I like to do (I wrote 4000 words on my story, and I participated in a weekly story crafting chat group on Sunday).

I have to spend the rest of the week working on my concentration, etc., which shouldn't be a problem. So I may or may not be blogging. Man, if I would've blogged last week, it would've all been some food-for-thought or something to the point where ya'll be hollering "Good grief, gal, what's wrong?" lol

I am off today, due to the doctor's appointment. Normally I would go in, but our Director got isshas. He might think I'm trying to sneak in late, and uh.... dude, I ain't in the mood for shenanigans. Run this workplace, and stop sweating an Oldgirl. Humph.

We have a new interim boss, which has left us all O_O. Our last interim boss was stellar. That's all I got to say about that. Although my work has been very light lately... I haven't done any lab work in 3 weeks. Hmm... All paperwork. Can I keep it like that? Don't know. Had a big argument with the new boss on Friday. I think I may be on her list. So I may be back in the lab. Sigh. And I'm cool with that.

So bear with me while I get myself straight. I may or may not be blogging this week. We'll see.

I'm going to make it a point to find a way to make this week a good one... on purpose.

You do the same.