Eco

Wand on my neck
Cool metal sliding across sticky gel
Searching, seeking, probing
For trouble
Questioning, seeking, looking for anything which will hinder the blood flowling freely
From my heart to my head
And from my head to my heart again.

Cold wand gliding across my chest,
First above and then beneathe my left breast.
Searching, seeking, wandering
Looking for that which will block the free flow of blood from my heart, to my lungs, to my arms, feet, and legs.

Dear heart,
I turn my head, and I see a vibrant image of you not beating, but contracting and relaxing over
and over again, hard in my chest.
I hear the sound of you, your sound all characteriistically you,
Beating in the quiet darkness of the room,
The sound you make as you contract and relax.
So consistent and predictable
FASTER as I breathe in, inhale. . .
SLOWER as I breathe out, exhale. . .

Oh heart,
Dear heart,
I wish I could be like you,
Where my emotions and feelings wouldn't drift to and fro like a ship cast about on storming seas, anchorless, wandering aimlessly.

Heart, I want to be like you, consistent, moving forward, making adjustements...
FASTER as I breathe in, inhale. . .
SLOWER as I breathe out, exhale. . .
I can learn from you. If you were anything like me, one moment you'd be alive and free, the next moment you would be dead as a chopped down tree.

I am thankful for you, thankful that you beat. I see you on the screen, watching me, teaching me, how to stay strong and consistent.
Where breathe in means beat faster, take on much needed oxygen.
Where breathe out means beat slower, releasing waste.

Cold wand, sliding and gliding across gel on my skin, just over my heart, shows me my heart, which teaches me where real life begins.




Writing prompt: "How I felt during my July 5, 2011 annual ecocardiogram" (15 minute timed).