Hair Week. Final Thoughts

2 posts in one day!? On a Holiday, LadyLee? Really?

Yes Ma'am. Yes Sir. I got it like that.

I wanted to wrap up my thoughts on Hair Week.

Well, I would like to thank you for reading my Hair Week posts.

If I offended anyone, I am truly sorry. I'm not the type of person to knowingly go in on folks. I don't see where I did, but it is possible. I am sorry.

This was just my time to hit my personal pause button and examine my thoughts and feelings about hair. I even got a chance to write a couple of pieces of short fiction, and I am glad of that.

When I was around 20 or 21 years old, I was in my friend's kitchen cutting up some collard greens. My friend's son, who was around 10 at the time said, "No Miss LadyLee, you not suppose to cut the collard green up like that." He went on to explain the way his mother cut up the greens.

I explained to him that there are different ways to cut up collard greens. Some people cut them in ribbons. Some just remove the stems and cook the leaves whole.

There are different ways to do different things.

I will always remember that conversation with that young fellow. I remember his mother coming in the kitchen and him saying "Miss LadyLee is cutting up the greens, and she do it different from the way you do it, and it's okay!"

Yes.

It's okay.

It's okay to be different. To not be bogged down about being different. To not be punished for being different.

It's okay to be different.

I am glad that I understood that at a younger age. It hadn't really soaked in at that age when it came to the larger issues of life, but at least it was a seed. I understood the general concept of it.

I understand it much more now. It is okay to DO YOU. No everyone is not going to agree with it. And that is OKAY. Hell, that's usually a clue that I'm doing the right thing. For me.

I wanted to express my feelings concerning my own hair issues. I mean, it's a trip having hair issues, and watching women who have no issues bashing each other... over hair care choices.

It is sad.

Yet it is the norm. And that is sadder.

And of course it goes both ways. The permed folk look down their noses at the natural folks. The natural hair folks look down their noses at the permed folks. Everything is cylical, so we are in the cycle where natural hair is the "in" thing right now, so they have are the ones who swing the bat.

Correction: a minor percentage does that.

And I think I understand now that that is the case. Yes there is the saying, one bad apple spoils the whole barrel. But doggonit, it that is the case, there would be lots of spoiled barrels of apples sitting around.

You see, these types of things happen within any group. And people begin to associate that with that group.

I've had situations where I pull out my own food when I go somewhere. I sometimes tend to take a small tupperware of fruit or veggies if there is a chance that there will not be any at an event. I have gotten attacked by folks for such. They say I'm going to start lecturing and preaching to people about why it's wrong to eat meat. Wow.

People say such because of the jacked up experiences they have. But they don't realize they are talking to a woman who will stop somewhere and pick up a 20 piece hot wing for those at the gathering who may want some wings... even though I won't be eating any.

Yeah. That's just how I am.

But my hope, for myself, is to concentrate on the good apples of the barrel, and not the bad ones. I am usually not around any bad ones, so that's not a problem. But I need to be more cognizant of that. There is good in everything. I have to make sure to focus on the good.

And that's hard for me, a woman who HATES group mentality. Like, I can't be in a group of other Ph.Ds for too long, unless they are down to earth, and aren't looking down on people who don't have doctorate degrees. I tend to disappear in the wind when that happens. Let's not even get started talking about the judgmental religious crowd. They can get lethal. And I want NO parts of that.

I never want the residue of that mentality to rub off on me, where my mindset changes... and I become that way. To begin to think that I am in some way, any way, BETTER than you because of the choices I make for myself... well, it borders on insanity to me.

Same way with hair. Granted, I'm totally exempt from any hair convo, whether permed or natural. I have deeper problems to consider. Picking on folks is a luxury, a high class one at that. My illness affects my hair. Period. I'm not in the conversation. Something is WRONG with me if I look down on anyone's hair, whether permed or not. Wrong, wrong, wrong. That would be indicative of deeper problems within my own character and integrity.

This week was a week for me to ponder and consider my feelings about my hair. I explored my dislike for artificial hair. Sure, I am sure I could get use to it. But I don't like it, and that's alright. I am totally ecstatic about finding a barber who can cut my hair without judgment. Overly happy about that!

And I came to the conclusion of it's not all about whether it's good hair or bad hair. It is MY hair. I don't have much, and it does it's own thing, but it is MY hair. I can do with it what I choose. Right now I choose to embrace it. And those who judge me for that, well, they weren't important to my life's journey in the first place.

I'm not any less of a person because it isn't flowing all down my back. My character is not heightened by my ability to twist it and band it into bantu knots. You are blessed if I'm your friend, because I am an incredible asset to your life. Period. And we all want that from the people we interact with. Am I right or wrong about that.

At any rate, I'd like to thank you for walking with me through hair week. No twists, no cowashes, none of the same ol' same ol'... but something just a little...

... Different.

And there's nothing wrong with different.. is there?

I should hope not!

Thanks for joining me for hair week.

Enjoy your Fourth of July holiday!