You know, this was actually suppose to be a Friday freestyles. Didn't post it. I figured I will post it this morning. That didn't work out. So I thought I would post tonight. I need to post, nevertheless.
I am tired of work. I have been thrown into what I consider an unfortunate situation. I do need a week or two off. But that is not going to happen. Alas, I will go to work, without really wanting to be there.
Last week was a REALLY bad work week. Ugh. Those come every once in awhile, but goodness when they do, it is really disturbing. I ended up snapping at my boss, and that's not good. No telling how that's going to come back to bite me later. So my goal has just been to shut up and be quiet. Don't cause no further problems. Simple enough. I'm not in with the crowd or the cliques. I have no protection. So it's best to just hush up and be invisible.
And it throws me completely off. I don't feel like doing NOTHING, especially blogging. I don't even think I got my usual quota of crochet done. I don't wanna talk to nobody. Yes that makes me a jackass. And I am fine with that. It is better than sitting around complaining. I am around way too much of that as it is.
Complain, and remain the same.
I rather ask myself "What is the solution to the problem?"
And just spend my energy working on that instead of complaining. Hard. But can be done. I made much progress today.
And it doesn't help that I have been nauseous off and on for a week. It was especially bad today. Not sure what that is about. No. She is not pregnant. LoL
I wonder what would happen if I just threw up right in the middle of the cubicle area? That would be... hilarious. And gossip worthy indeed. Give chickens something real to cackle about. I don't think I would ever live that down.
And last week was actually a very good week outside of work. That surprises me. It started off really well. I think I was good overall. Writing class was last Tuesday, and that's like a breath of fresh air. It is such a reprieve for me. And I had a very productive finance group meeting on Saturday afternoon. (Even though I expressed a strong dislike of someone who is a friend with everyone there. Not sure if that will ever come back to bite me. But I don't run in those circles. I just have to make sure to stay FAR out of those circles... on purpose now. So that is okay).
I was writing in my journal the other day that in the midst of all the irritating things going on, I really have to stay alert, because in the midst of all that, fantastic and wonderful things are still happening. All the time. It is such a fascinating time of my life. And I must always be cognizant of that.
And that's what I've been thinking about all weekend. I can't let the bad rain on the good.It's like having a glass of buttermilk and a fly has fallen into it. I won't throw out all the buttermilk. I will take the fly out the buttermilk and enjoy my buttermilk.
Yes that is nasty. The fly is gone, but the memory of the fly is still there. But I can't let good buttermilk go to waste, can I?
And I can't drink buttermilk. I think it will make me more nauseous than I already am. That's not good.
So we will just scratch the buttermilk talk. Or just drink it proverbially.
George Zimmerman. Man. I didn't even know a verdict was coming down. Someone texted me "Not guilty". So I quickly turned to CNN to see what was going on. And lo and behold, this man got off.
I am not surprised at the verdict. I expected it. This was a reasonable doubt trial. It is his word against a dead teenager. And the dead cannot defend themselves.
And I don't expect much from a state that let Casey Anthony go free after dumping her own toddler in a ditch. So this was no surprise to me.
I couldn't even tell if there was a prosecution in this trial. Seems like there were two defense teams. Either that or the prosecutors were REALLY bad. Those speeches at the end of the trial, where the prosecutors got up and thanked everybody like they had just won the Oscars didn't curb my thoughts about the whole thing.
Alas, while this man gets lucrative book and movie deals, young black males will continue to be profiled.
(Sidenote: you should talk to some white folks who have lived in the northern states and have had to spend time in north and central Florida. I snickered at what they had to say. But after the third one I spoke with hollered (with that horrified look in their eyes) that it's just an extension of south Georgia, I started believing them. Alas, another reason why this verdict didn't surprise me).
But Zimmerman will never be free. A mental prison can be worse than a physical one. He will always be looking over his shoulder. He's in trouble if he walks down the road day or night. Folks looking for him. Sad. Unfortunate. But people want their own brand of justice.
He can't even go into a drugstore and buy some cold medicine if he is sick.
Heck, he can't even go in the store and buy...a pack of skittles and ice tea.
That type of thing has to play with the mind.
George, I do think whatever money you make, you should share with the parents of the kid you stalked and murdered.
And George is a bit slow. Juror B37 already has signed with a literary agent! Imagine that. Less than 48 hours after the verdict. I bet that was in the works before the verdict! You don't figure all that out in less than 48 hours. Nerp.
Juror B37 is on Anderson Cooper right now! (10:00 pm as of this writing)! Let the media tour begin!
I know the other jurors are going O_O right now. *jurors scrambling to make money off the tragedy*
Ya'll need to give some money to the parents of the kid off which you are making money.
That would be the right thing to do.
I am reading a book about the conscience right now. And how you have to accept that there are people out there who don't have a conscience.
I thought that was odd. But after all this, I am starting to understand.
That is all I have to say about that.
Song of the Week. Some Whitney. This is my favorite song by her. I like the R&B feel of it. I wish she would've released it.
Final Thoughts. Stay peaceful, black people. Don't go out here taring up stuff because of the verdict. There will be more verdicts like this one in the future. Sad but true.
One of my conversation pieces that I didn't post for conversations week was about veiled inferiority complexes.
If you weren't such a positive threat and had such great potential, white folk wouldn't be doing so much to make you feel bad about yourselves.
Don't get mad at me for saying that! I heard that from a couple of white mentors.
When someone not of my race cares enough about me to let me know such of thing, I listen. That is forever etched on a mental post-it note in my mind. Nothing like some good inside information.
That changed the way I thought about myself.
If you truly thought you were better than someone, you're not even thinking about them. But if you see the potential in them, and you can scheme to bring them down... hmm...
Just a mini- food for thought for your week.
I will try to post all week. This is my peace of mind. And especially now, I need my peace of mind.
By design... and on purpose.
The Big 5-0! - Let the real living begin!
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