I Shine U Shine

So...

One thing about me: I hardly ever get my car washed.

You'll never see me out with a bucket and a sponge washing my car. Never.

I may go through one of those car washes at the gas station, something like that, but that's about it. And that there is asking a lot. Most likely a local will wash my car. They usually are trying to get their money together for their, uh, habit. So they don't mind giving a car a good bath.

And then there's The Mayor of my Hood and the House of LadyLee's official Poet Laureate, Snake.

He likes to stand in the middle of the street when he sees me coming, his arm stretched out, hand up, commanding me to stop like he the Police or something.

"Look at this here car of your's LadyLee. Oh Lawd." He shakes his head back and forth in disgust.

"This sucka running, babes. I don't care if it's dirty."

"You need to come on down the street and let me wash it."

"I'll holler at you," I yell as I pull away. And go home.

So I finally decided to go look for Snake and his car washing enterprise.

Actually, I was looking for Mr. Thomas, another local, because my grass was getting high and it needed to be cut. I left home on a sunny Saturday afternoon and went looking for Snake. He wasn't hard to find, as he has a sign on the street corner pointing towards his place of business.

The "I Shine U Shine" Car Wash.

Like I said, I was being nosy. I was looking for Mr. Thomas. Mr. Thomas had had a heart attack back in September. I saw him walking up the street a week later eating a package of oreo cookies.

I told him that uh, maybe he didn't want to eat those cookies if he had just had a heart attack. A nice piece of fruit may be better.

He nodded and kept right on eating them.

Long story short, I thought Mr. thomas was dead.

"Yo Snake! I yelled. "You seen Mr. Thomas!?"

Snake nodded yes. I breathed a sigh of relief.

The old man wasn't dead.

"He just got out of jail, LadyLee!" Snake said. "And there he is walking up the hill."

I saw the old man staggering up the hill. And he'd been in jail. That meant somebody probably stole ALL his equipment (all of which he had stolen himself(don't ask me how I know this... please)). Plus, he lives in a house behind this dude name "Rat Cheese" house. His equipment had to be long gone. Long gone.

So that meant I had to go buy a lawnmower. Sigh.

Anyway, I did that, and came back for my car wash.

Now when I've rolled by "I Shine U Shine" in the past, there have been always nice cars out there - Beamers, SUVs, Benzs. So I didn't want to take my plucker down there.

But that day I did.

I parked my car in front of this nice Beamer.

Incidently, there was some folks sitting over in the green SUV, talking. I made sure not to look in the car. My brother hipped me to the fact that this usually meant prostitute action going on. So I just ignore it.

And I was glad I did ignore it. Snake had walked up on them and hollered "Hey man, go home to your Old Lady. Let me get in the car and get some of that action!"

*crickets*

Well, well, well!!

Isn't that special!

Whatever. Get your freak on.

I just wanted my car washed.

And one of Snake's employees washed my car.



He used a plethora of products from the "I Shine U Shine" Counter.



I walked over and peered closely at this contraption, this interesting counter. It was made up of an old dresser and the top of a dining room table. Very nice use of old furniture indeed.

My car... it was looking mighty nice.

But not as nice as that Beamer. Lawd help me, it made me want to go out and buy one!



I walked across the street taking this all in, and taking pictures. One of Snake's employees directed me to do otherwise.

"Ma'am, you can have a seat in one of the chairs if you like."

So I went over to the waiting area.



That scenery... It was, I don't know... interesting to say the least. I wondered when and how the house burned up. Those box springs look a bit new. There was just a whole lot going on, and it kept me full of bewilderment while I waited on that car.

That barrel looked interesting.

By the crispy burnt smell invading my nostrils, I could tell they burned up stuff on a regular basis in that barrel.

Snake saw me staring at all of this. "I can use this in a story or something, man," I said.

"We 'bout to turn that into a drive thru car wash, LadyLee."

*blank stare*Blink*crickets*

Knowing him, I know they will... somehow.

A police car turned on the street. I got scared, tried to play it cool. I was gonna break out for my house on the next block if I had to. My keys were in the car, but I could call my sister to come over and let me in the house... just didn't wanna get locked up, man!

(yes, I think about these things. There were some VERY interesting locals walking around. I didn't want to get caught up in a round up.)

Snake adressed the white female cop.

"Hey Baby, you want yo car washed??"

"No," she said, her voice flat.

I let out a sigh of relief. And continued to relax in the waiting area.

Snake and his employee did a good job on my ride. I got the "hooptie" special price: $10.00

He even put a little tire shine on my tires.





My car looks like it can breathe now. So fresh and so clean!

I'll be going back soon.

Most likely when they get the drive-thru car wash operation up and going!

LOL