TGIF... and Not a Fool

Friday.

TGIF.

*tossing confetti and watching it fall to the ground. Shrugging and walking away*

HA HA. Low on the festive meter. Can't say I didn't try, now. And I should be doing cartwheels.

It is payday. No cartwheeling.

I'm thankful it's Friday. Thankful for another day.

This morning's prayer:

"Lord it's April Fool's Day. I pray that I not be a FOOL."

I pray that I not be a fool. I pray I not be given over to foolish things, foolish decisions, foolish behaviour. I pray that I not be a fool.

And I look at it like a peanut butter jar that you think that's empty, but if you look real close, there's still a little bit of it left on the side of the jar.

Like that peanut butter left in the jar, there's always some tomfoolery left in the dark dusty back corners of my heart.

Gotta work on that. Will work on that.

Work in progress, always under construction.You know that. Just need to be cognizant of that.

This week has been, I don't know... one of those weeks where I'm attempting to get back on the bike and ride it straight. I think I did okay.

Monday I had a doctor's appointment. That went alright. Doc thinks I've gotten too much sun and I'm a bit stressed. Sometimes that causes problems. Very rarely. I am thankful for the "rarely" part, and for that I'm thankful.

One quarter of the year has passed. One quarter. Time moves fast, and it ain't slowly down and wait for anyone. I was pondering my first quarter of the year this morning. Nothing earth shattering occured.

Yes, I did enjoy a thirty day vacation. That was the best thing ever. My feet hit four other countries, other than my own. I needed another 2 weeks off, though. That would have been good for me, more time to get done other things I wanted to get done. But it was great to be away from a workplace that is... special. Just special as hell.

During the first quarter of the year, I met one of the kindest people I've ever met in my life. I'm not even sure she's real. She's GOT to be a figment of my imagination. Just got to be. NO ONE is that kind. It was just a pleasure to meet my play Mama Adrienne. Goodness. She's one of those people who I'm like, doggonit, can I touch the hem of your dress? Maybe, if I do, I can partake in that kindness annointing. Just maybe.

She is someone that I learn something from on a daily basis. She pours into my spirit daily. What a great gift she is to me. Don't know if it's for a reason or for a seasonl. Who cares. It just blows my mind.

I also finished a manuscript. Oh how great that felt because I rarely finish anything. I just love to write and learn something from what I write, whether it's finished or unfinished, and most likely it is unfinished. Ain't trying to please nobody, just wanna write. But it felt good to finish something and to have great discussions who partook as readers. They really opened my mind and pointed me in the right directions.

I must also say that during this first quarter of the year, I've enjoyed a closer and better relationship with my sister. Our family isn't a tight knit one. We don't get together for holidays or anything. No one really calls anyone. It is what it is. It bothers me a little more as I get older, because it's beginning to feel like I'm in the midst of such an isolatory period of my life. But she and I, we talk a few times a week. She calls for advice, and I'm happy to say that I'm helpful. I felt so honored that she called me the other night with details of things she was praying for to come to past later this year, and needed me to get in agreement with her over it. I was happy to oblige, as I like to be apart of seeing something that starts from thought and hope stage, and seeing it manifest in the natural.So I am incredibly thankful that we can talk freely, and there's no drama, and it's not a chore.

On an even more intangible note, it has helped me immensely to get up and pray for an hour in the mornings. Not sure when I started this. Some time this month, I suppose. I'm happy to say that this happens a good 90% of the time. It sets the tone for my day. There are A LOT of answers showing up. Some mornings of prayer are good, and yes, some mornings I have a mucked up attitude, and I'd rather pick fuzzballs out of my carpet. But I'm learning one thing to be true: It ain't all about what I feel.

My faith has to go past my feelings.

My faith has to go past the question marks.

Period.

And that's what's central.

I've never in my life been more in touch with who I am, what I long for, what hurts me, what I'm proud of, what I'm ashamed of, and where I want to go than right now... All because of a small segment of time that I spend with God each morning. 1 hour is indeed a small segment of time.

For that I am grateful.

In this time of distractions coming at me from every direction, everything in the world seducing me away, I need that time of closing my mind to all of that, and opening my heart up to God. That right there is my most significant accomplishment of the first quarter of the year.

Only 4.17 percent of my day.

VERY small. But the most important and significant part of my day indeed.

Well, bet you didn't expect pontification out of me on such a funny day, a day of tricks and games and tomfoolery.

Every day is a good day to ponder.

Why not today?

Enjoy your day.

And Enjoy your weekend... on purpose.