Crazy Convos, Part I: "Apricots"

I have had some interesting conversations in my lifetime.

And I've had a few with ol' Tayari.

Some have had me coming away like O_O. I've called my best friend LadyTee and I've said, "You know, Tayari is normal just like us. She got the same thangs on her mind, just like us."

"Well that's good!" LadyTee said.

"But she's Tayari Jones. That's just odd. She walks on water."

LOL

For years, I thought Tayari sat atop billowy clouds writing with her perfect pen. . . perfect words on perfect pieces of paper.

Uh, NOT.

I think we are friends now, because we can freely snap on each other... In a friendly way mind you.

Like for example, I mentioned here on the blog that Tayari has this interesting pink fur coat that she likes and she always wears the thing. I got to thinking... I've never seen her in another coat. I said that maybe I shouldn't talk about it so much because it may be the only coat she owns.

Well, I got an interesting phone call that night. "Lee, that isn't the only coat I own!!!" Then she gave me a rundown of all her coats.

LOL. I had to holla "Calm down, Man!" that day.

But one of the funniest convos came a year ago...

It was a year or so ago, a weekend morning. I can't remember if it was a Saturday or a Sunday, but for some reason, Tayari had called. I can't recall what we were talking about, but I was making out a grocery list for the Dekalb farmers's market. It was probably one of those calls where you just call to shoot the breeze about nothing. (However, I always manage to slip in some writing craft question, lol).

My sister Kentucky was standing at the sink washing dishes... I'd been walking back and forth talking on the phone.

I asked my sister if she wanted anything from the market. I continued talking to Tayari while my sister thought about it.

I asked my sister again...

"Hey girl," I said to my sister. "Come on now, tell me what you want since I'm going out there!"

"Bring back some of those cranberry muffins," Kentucky said. She rinsed a plate and placed it in the drying rack. "Not the big ones, but the little ones, the ones that are 6 to a pack."

I scribbled it down on the grocery list. "What else you want?"


"I like apricots. I want some apricots," Tayari said.

"Tayari, ain't nobody talking to you, girl!" I said, my voice raised and an octave higher than normal.

My eyes widened. I clamped my hand to my mouth.

This is Tayari Jones. I'm not suppose to talk to her like that. This is the great Tayari Jones. My writing idol. I'm not suppose to talk to her like that! I've always been sure to enunciate every word correctly in her presence. No ebonics, just my good Ph.D. english. (Ya'll who know me, know that I tend to be ebonically inclined).

Oh Lawd. Oh Lawd have mercy.

"I like apricots," Tayari said again. "The skin is smooth. Velvety soft."

"Uh, well," I said. "We don't eat those."

"I like them. They are velvety."

I didn't know what to say about that. I left it alone, and just stood there watching Kentucky wash dishes from breakfast. I continued scribbling out items on my list. Me and Tayari talked about other things, not sure what. I was still thinking about the apricots.

But let's just say, I was a bit more watchful of what I was saying to the great Tayari Jones.

Anyway I went to the Farmer's Market. Made sure to get everything on my list including Kentucky's cranberry muffins.

Then as I was walking to the cashier area, I walked back through the fruit section... and that's when I saw them.

The apricots.

And they were $1.99 pound.

I peered at them thoughtfully. Rolled on past them...

Rolled back past them.

I have to touch them, I thought to myself. I have to touch the apricots.

I rolled my cart past the apricots a couple of times more. I finally stopped there...

I looked to my left. I looked to my right. No one was looking at me.

I closed my eyes, reached my hands out... and felt the apricots.

And she was right... they were smooth as baby's skin. Velvety.

Now Tayari is a literary writer. None of that commercial writing. Literary. So if she say something, then I'm peering curiously at her, wondering, what does it mean? What is she trying to say?

Like she might say "I like that dress." I'm looking at her like, What does it mean? Is there a metaphor in that somewhere? Something deeper? A simile? What does she mean?

Hell... she might just mean she likes the dress.

LOL.

But I was standing there, rubbing my fingers over the apricots, and it occured to me, and I wanted to yell it to the whole store, but I only whispered it...

"She's gonna use this in a story. She's gonna use it in a story."

I thought she was going to use it in her book or a story or something.

I grabbed some apricots, shoved them in a plastic bag!

You know me. If Tayari put her hand in her pocket, I put my hand in my pocket, too, babes. Yes sir!

(That's what you call "indirect stalking". My stalker activity is complex like that).

I took those apricots home. Touched them a little more. I too was going to use them in a story.



I talked to her a few days later! "Hey, I bought some apricots! And you're right, the skin is smooth! Velvety!"

"I like apricots!" she said.

I was waiting to hear her talk about something deeper, like using it in something she was writing. And I was wondering how I could beg her to let me read whatever it was. (Yes, I have no shame.)

She didn't say anything.

Maybe she just likes apricots.

I ate my apricots. And wrote down the baby smooth velvety apricots thoughts. I looked for that in Silver Sparrow somewhere, but it wasn't there.

Maybe Tayari just likes apricots.

All I know, I'm going to use it in a story somewhere.

Just a funny story for you. I'm always having interesting convos...

You need to read Silver Sparrow! You won't regret it! It's full of interesting similes and metaphors! Tayari has a knack for such things!

And you can win if you comment this week. I'm giving away SIX copies. SIX!!

"But LadyLee," blog fam yells. "You said FIVE copies yesterday!"

Yes I did. Today I'm saying SIX!!!

You better enter to win, Mayne! I have SIX signed copies to give away! However many times you comment, that's how many times your name goes in the bag!

I'm not a comment whore. Just want you to have a copy of a good book.

And if you already have the book, enter for a gift card!

You all have a terrific Tuesday... On purpose!!