I posted up a REALLY long post last week on Monday night, but I woke up the next morning, and it was GONE. I wrote it on my netbook, and your friend Oscar-Tyrone decides that the keyboard is just big enough for him to sit on and to warm up his butt. (Yes I am blaming him. He sits up on it whenever I leave the room for a period of time.)
But a few people caught it in their google readers, and I obtained a copy of the rest of the post. I can clean it up a little better, especially since I'm in a better mood.
Something interesting happened at the end of my day last Monday. Right at 6:30, when it is time to go.
I'm usually antsy around that time. One of us, Commander Meek Meek, who is the basis for this character in one of my stories, or me is usually running behind. And we end up waiting on each other, and sometimes end up not leaving until 7:00 or later.
It's all good. Doesn't make me happy, but it's okay.
When it's that late, it's quiet. People are usually gone. I am usually quiet most of the day when I'm at my desk. Unless I'm talking to CowgirlCre, I ain't talking much. And whatever I say, I better make sure it can be spray painted across the sky because you best believe folks be listening HARD. I doubt I have anything juicy going on to gossip about, but stories of lore can be weaved from innocent conversations.
Anyway, Meek-Meek and I were talking around 6:30. She and her family had a 2 hour juicing expedition on Sunday night. They juiced brussel sprouts, green beans, asparagus, broccoli... and more craziness. For 2 hours. I was looking at her like O_o. I can't imagine. They were juicing gallons of it. It was no surprise to me that somebody got sick off of it.
Man... I get my juicing done in 5 to 10 minutes. That includes cleanup. They doing too much.
Anyway, I don't remember how we got on this topic, but she said someone in the fam told her to make a collage of all the things she wanted to accomplish.
"A vision board," I said. "A vision board of sorts."
"Yes," she said.
"I have one," I said. I turned to my computer and found it on my blog. "I have a vision statement too."
I found it on my blog. I told her of how I even had a "vision statement". So we took a look at my vision statement.
"I am 100% healthy in my body, soul, and spirit. I acknowledge God in all my ways, and I seek Him before I make any decisions, big or small. I am a blessing to my family and to those that God sends across my path. I am an incredible asset to my friends. I am a good listener. I am an excellent employee, and I not only work hard, but I work smart. I take time to periodically evaluate myself, and I make changes accordingly. I stick and hold fast to the path God has charted out for my life. I accept and openly welcome constructive criticism, as I know it will help me become "a better me". I am a good steward, a fine manager over the finances He has blessed me with, to the point that God knows He can trust me."
I had to smile to myself. I haven't looked at it in awhile. I even memorized it at one time, as it gave me something to focus on.
And right now, I have so lost focus.
She really likes it. I told her that it is a thermostat of sorts. It is where I set my internal "Thermostat", hoping that I will mature over the years and reach what that vision statement encompasses. Not now, but someday.
I like it because it is MINE. No groupthink involved. It has nothing to do with what the crowd is doing or what is trendy right now. It is MINE. For me.
It is personal.
But it was interesting to look back over it and see how much I've grown.
And of course, it is interesting to pause and look at the areas where I am stagnant.
I am a good asset to my friends. Not incredible, but good. I tend to be a loner, dwelling hard in isolation. I ebb and flow in that area. But I am a reliable friend to some extent. I don't inject drama and confusion in people's lives, so there is much to say for that.
I am a good listener. I gotta do better in the area of finances, but that's always a given. I hope I'm a blessing to family and anyone who crosses my path.
That 100% health in soul, spirit and body. Sigh. Man. Jesus take the wheel. That is all.
I had planned to add more and more to the vision statement over the years. I found that there is no need for that, though. The few sentences above are enough for a lifetime. I mature in all that, then I'm a fully balanced individual, and much will grow out of that.
It was good to talk about it. I even did a series of posts on each sentence around the time of my 40th birthday. A simple deep thought and assessment of myself according to each sentence. It was quite carthartic. I will most likely go back and read over that, since it's been 2 years since I did all those posts.
But you know what was really interesting? And really put a smile on this lurchest aunt esterish face of mine?
It was the vision board itself.
It is hard to see. It's the only picture I have of it. I thought it was silly at the time when I made it - January 2008 for a journal writing group meeting- but it was fun to make.
Fun to dream, if only for a moment.
I placed the vision statement in the upper right hand corner.
You can tell what my passion is. It is writing. A third of the board is taken up by that. I have all the titles of my books in a shimmery gold glitter bookcase.
At that time I'd never been on vacation as an adult. In the center of this vision board was a beautiful island.
And my dream car is near the bottom of the poster. Hard to see, but it is a 1999 or 2000 gold Lexus ES300.
I got a little happy when I peered at the picture, and explained the different things to Commander Meek Meek.
I've been to several countries since then... Mexico, Aruba, Turks, Dominican Republic, Curacao. I've seen Cuba and Venuzuela from afar, but haven't been there.
And then there's Lucy. My Lexus, Lucy. I've had her for 3 months now.
Interesting... it's the exact same one as on the vision board. I think it's the same color too.
Sooo... vision boards are a good thing, aren't they?
Might be time to sit down, on a rainy Saturday perhaps, and make another one.
No telling what dreams will come true in the next few years.
It was refreshing to sit back and talk and verbalize it all, if only for a few minutes with my coworker.
I really needed a bright spot in my day that day. SOMETHING.
And it was a day where I just happen to peer back at an old vision board... and had a chance to remember and appreciate that even though life may be blah and stagnant at times, that it really isn't. As long as I'm alive and breathing, things are happening. Life isn't stagnant, but still fluid. It is always moving, flowing like water, even if I feel the waves or not.
Sometimes it takes looking back over a span of time to see that it is most definitely true.
And oh how glad I am of that.
I am never standing still. Never.
Something is always happening.
And for me, that something is always good... or moving in the direction of good.
That is my confession.
Good things are happening. Whether it feels like it or not... Sometimes it takes a span of time to see it.
And that, my dear, is a good thing. A very good thing indeed.
My Monday went from blight to bright.
I hope my week flows in the same direction
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