HaPPy BirtTHdaY ATLien Nikki

This one goes out to my blog sister, Atlien Nikki. Yeah, yeah, I know you rep Brooklyn, but you're not in Kansas New York anymore. Welcome to the ATL! So you are ATLien Nikki over in these parts, you hear me?

Man! This is the season for birthdays, ain't it?

One more birthday to celebrate!

And ya'll KNOW how I love a good birthday tribute! !

Today I toss rose petals oh so high in the clear blue sky for the one and only... ATLien Nikki.

!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATLIEN NIKKI!!!

Smile, Shawty!! This here is lucky number 37!

It's your year, Girl.

I shot her an email yesterday, asking if it was alright if I mentioned her age (I was working on something for her, which she should get in the mail soon, lol). She said yeah. I called her an Old woman. And she hit me back with a great answer, one only she would give:

"Old and ALIVE"

Yeah, that's a REAL woman's answer right there!

Really though.

I've been reading ATLien Nikki's Iniquitous One Blog for close to 3 years. I think we were all sitting at work one day back in '05, when I came across this blog with some REALLY personal stuff on it, It got to the point where I had to call a few people over to my cubicle and have them take a look.

*Lee and coworkers peering REAL hard at the computer screen*

Nikki has dealt mainly in the erotic, but has a tendency to move toward the extremely personal with deep concentration on self-assessments. She has even been known to get over into some personal spiritual concerns. (Look girl, don't do that no more. I just can't take it. I was a sniveling mess over a couple of those spiritual posts, lol. I can't be that way at work!!)

But she has been REALLY supportive of my blog, although I keep it S-M-U-R-F-Y over in this camp. The most erotic it gets over here in these parts is in the casual poem or two, and that there is even PG rated. (I detest erotica. We have all swung for chandaliers and have gotten busy on the kitchen counter. I don't want to read about it. Sigh!)

I, in turn, have been supportive of her. She is one of the only persons I've ever seen write erotica in the context in which it should be written, if it is to be written at all (doggonit!!)

I know the men read her and are like "Yeeeeeaaaah Nikki! Yeaaaah Girl!"

I read her blog and I'm like "My goodness, how did she come up with that simile? Man, where did she come up with that word play? What the heck... how did she DO that!!? Doggonit, I have to make a note of this!!"

*Lee grabbing her bootleg notebook of similes and phrases and making note of Nikki's words*

Now, I've only met ATLien Nikki once. She lived one neighborhood over from me at one time, and since we lived a mile apart, I hollered for a hook up in her comment section a couple of times. (I cut that out, because I don't want nobody thinking I'm a stalker, lol!). But I decided to send her a personal email, and lo and behold, we decided to go have dinner at Agave, a restaurant down in Cabbagetown.

Now, I must admit, I was a bit afraid to walk up in that restaurant...

I thought I would walk up in there and catch her swinging butt-naked from the chandaliers.

I was prepared to uh, snap my finger to get her attention, and say "Yo girl, when you finish giving that show, come holla at me. I'll be over here at the bar!"

LOL!!

But, I met someone TOTALLY different. When I arrived, Nikki was sitting at the bar like she owned the dayum place, enjoying a glass of red wine.

*LadyLee raises an eyebrow at Nikki's apparent calmness and debonair air*

All I could do was grin. Gave her a big hug, and we went and sat down and chatted over huge plates of fire hot diablo crawfish pasta!

And I must admit... that had to be one of the most memorable and most important convos I've had in years.

I hated when it was over.

HATED-ED IT!!!

I learned a lot about you AND from you, ATLien Nikki!

I won't divulge all the things we talked about, as they were private, but it was indeed refreshing and life-changing!

Glad to meet you, and glad to count you as a friend!

So with that said, I bow down once again, throw a few rose petals HIGH in the friendly sky!

And say...

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

And many more...

So, uh, you know we can't end it like that, right? Riiiiight?

Wrote a quick little story for you!
Want to read it?
Well , here you go!

"The Craziness"

LadyLee knew she shouldn't have been hanging out with that damn ATLien Nikki.

The girl was always in the middle of some straight up craziness.

Oh, she always came out unscathed, and always had a good time in the process, but that was no reason for LadyLee to think that fooling around in these mean ATL streets with Nikki would be a good thing.

And rumor had it that Nikki kept a pistol strapped to her left thigh. It was also said that she also hid razors in her thick locks.

LadyLee wanted NO parts of that craziness.

"Come on to this club with me, girl," Nikki said. She gave LadyLee a friendly shove. "You'll have fun!"

"Hell na'wl." LadyLee shook her head hard. "Last time you went out on the town, I heard you and that doggone youngun' Southern Black Gal got ta scrapping with some folk, busting Champagne bottles over negroes heads left and right. Heard ya'll got banned from Charles Disco over on Simpson Road for that craziness. Don't nobody get banned from that place."

"Oh, that wasn't our fault. Well, Southern Black Gal, she got a little drunk. You know how she get when she start sipping that Mad Dog. She started swinging her bat around. I don't know how she snuck that big ass bat in the club. I had to grab the nearest thing and help my girl out!"

*LadyLee kicks the hard eye roll*

"Lee, I have tickets for the Art of Noise concert. They will be performing live at the club"

"So."

"You MUST go."

"No!"

"Free tickets." She waved them in LadyLee's face. "Come on now. I bet there will be Break dancers and all that." Nikki started popping and locking. "You know you love Old School."

The very mention of "Old School" set LadyLee's heart racing. "Alright Nikki, I'll go. I'll go this one time. But you better not have me up in no craziness."

So they went to the concert. Once inside, LadyLee looked around. They were the only black folk in the place, and that made LadyLee more nervous than she'd already been.

Nikki was skipping all around. She even let her locks down and let them wave free. LadyLee stood back just in case a misplaced razor blade came flying from her hair.

Then LadyLee got mad. There were no break dancers, no popping and locking, none of that.

There was THIS craziness:




**crickets**

LadyLee could've sworn that Nikki said they were going to a concert... NOT a frickin' circus.

*LadyLee watching Nikki groove to the music, while at the same time, trying to plan a quick getaway*

Suddenly, the middle of the dance floor cleared... The tiles of the floor lit up. All the colors were making LadyLee dizzy.

A buffed up dude dressed in a white velour sweatsuit and a cap that had the words "THE 2nd 68" splayed across the front in neon red letters. He slowly took off his glasses and pointed at the crowd. He pointed his finger to the sky like John Travo.lta did in Satu.rday Night Fe.ver.

"You have GOT to be kidding me," LadyLee murmurred.

This was not LadyLee's idea of a "Old School."

LadyLee quietly eased her way back to the back of the club, one small step at a time. She slid against the wall, careful not to draw attention to herself. When the coast was clear, she made a mad dash for the door.

She jingled her keys furiously in her hand as she ran for the car.

Nikki would have to get home the best way she could.

"I'ma get that dayum Nikki back if it's the last thing I do!!!" she yelled.

The end?

LOL!

LOL!!

I'm so freakin' corny!!

LOL!!

That story was for you, ATLien Nikki!! It was bootleg to death, but it was for YOU!!!

So with that, uh... you know we gots to get our eat on.

It's Friday! You know what that means:

SEAFOOD!

**LadyLee cups hands around her mouth and yells REAL LOUD**

"Uncle Cre, pull the witch kettle out and fry this birthday girl right here some fish!!!!"

Yeah, that's good fish right there. Fried outside in hot grease like that?

Shoot, that's GOOD fish.

Got some snow crabs for you!!!

And since you got good tastes, we got that broiled crab stuffed shrimp for you, too...

Opinionated Diva was walking around at Southern Black Gal's virtual party looking a bit worried. She was biting her fingernails. She had a bootleg dixie cup in her hand, looking and begging for a swallow of libations.

Girl, we don't have any of that Riunite on ice... so nice, so nice...

Brang your own Bottle next time, Opinionated Diva!!

We DO have plenty of Australian Barossa Grenache, i.e., Bee-yotch on Ice..

B*tch on ice - so nice, so nice...

Yeaaaaah!!!

T'ain't no party like an Oldgirl party because an Oldgirl Party, don't... stop!!!

Happy Birthday Nikki!!!!!

Make it a good one!

(And I know you will.)